shalae204 Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 So is this guy a waste of my time off or what? I don't have a problem just kind of a general wondering...what do you think of this set up I met this guy a few months ago we hung out a little had sex a little and seemed to be enjoying each others company you know? we kinda had that whole friends with benefits thing going on and i'm not a clingy kind of girl so that was cool with me. everything was all good for the 1st month and then we sort of fell into a grey area so to speak.... I wasn't calling him he wasn't calling me it was very confusing and upsetting to me cuz not only was i missing his company i was missing all the sex you know? I'm not for that whole game bullsh*t so one day i realized that it'd been close to 2 wks since we'd seen each other so i called him and left a voicemail which went something like this: hey it's me! i haven't talked to you in a little bit and that makes me sad cuz i miss you and i wanna see you...i don't know about you but i don't like to look like anybodys stalker so i haven't been calling you cuz you haven't been calling me - and maybe you haven't been calling me cuz i haven't been calling you so maybe we should stop NOT calling each other and start calling each other...unless you don't wanna talk to me..and if you don't wanna talk to me just say hey! stop calling me! that way it'll end all the confusion So okay that message was borderline ka-razy however he called me that evening and said oh i'm sorry but i've been busy blah,blah,blah and then we went out that night proceeded by another date a few days later..That ladies and gentlemen was a week ago so i said to myself - self you gotta look past the hot guy and all the good sex and move on to some other guy who won't make you wonder so damn much. Just then.. He called! on friday he's like oh i'm sorry and he used the whole broken phone bit i said oh i was gonna erase your number from my phone (lying of course) cuz i didn't know if we were still friends he said no i wanna go out this wkend i miss you (LIAR!) so this wkend comes and this a**wipe calls me to "hang-out" at 230AM....i didn't answer cuz i think he shoulda been straight up and said hey i wanna have a sex date this wkend whaddya think? Men are weird but so am i....what should i do keep this guy as my booty call or leave him alone cuz he's lame and he confuses me??? ok bye...that was long huh? sorry! Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 It`s your booty call Link to post Share on other sites
bebe2000 Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 Okay so you really need to think about what it is you want. Your post is all over the place. You sound confused Deside what it is you want, because if you want him to be a booty call- let him be a booty call. As a booty call you should expect a 2:30 AM call to hook up. But if you feel you want more then this then maybe you need to tell him you would like a relationship. Sometimes it's hard to sleep with someone and not get attached. You say you don't want to play games- well them stop playing them, deside what you want- a relationship or a f*** buddy- it's your choice. And if he wants what you don't, buy a vibrator until the next potential whatever comes along. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 Let's say that you sit down with this guy and thrash out exactly what you both want from the situation. Let's imagine he says this: "I want to be able to call you up at 2.30am now and again so that I can have sex with you at short notice. I like you, but I don't want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you, and I certainly don't want to feel that I have to call you every week in order to keep things going. I don't want you getting sulky if I don't phone you for a few weeks. I don't expect you to make any demands on me. I don't mind if you call me up for sex, as long as you don't get in a strop if I can't make it that night. Most of all, I expect you to always remember that I never have to answer to you about what I'm doing. Likewise, what you do with other people is your own concern" That's Friends With Benefits. Take it or leave it, but I don't really understand why it would be "clingy" to want something more. Think carefully. "Not a clingy kind of girl" is sometimes just "someone who doesn't think she deserves any better" in a cool disguise. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 I really like your prose, it's hilarious yeah, sorry, but he's really in it for the sex and you're kinda wanting more, even though you may not realize it yet. To an outsider, it doesn't sound confusing at all Link to post Share on other sites
Author shalae204 Posted August 22, 2005 Author Share Posted August 22, 2005 Hi guys! it's me again..so basically you guys think i'm crazy and confused right? that's cool but i toootally get the whole he's my booty call thing that's great but i do not need who ever that was giving me the definition of what friends with benefits are i'm not new to the game you know what i'm saying i've been in a situation before which was way more reliable what i think i was asking is hey should i leave this guy alone cuz he's so daaamn unreliable and i require more sex than what he's giving me or should i keep this guy cuz the sex is soooo good and hey good sex is hard to find - maybe that's what i should've said but i thought i'd give you folks a storyline with it OH! and another thing i'm not upset that he called at 2:30 i'm upset 'cuz he wasn't up front like hey i'ma wanna have sex later so i'll call you - waht he said was hey we should go out tonight i'm gonna get ready and i'll call you in 30 min...does no one see it my way? am i in this alone?? shouldn't he be more up front about his intentions cuz it's not me dawg he's the one always throwing around i miss yous and all that junk...c'mon someone get on my side!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author shalae204 Posted August 22, 2005 Author Share Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by lindya "Not a clingy kind of girl" is sometimes just "someone who doesn't think she deserves any better" in a cool disguise. by the way just to clarify when i say i'm "not a clingy kind of girl" it means that i'm damaged goods and i'm too crazy and emotionally guarded to allow myself the experience of an actual relationship thanx! Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by shalae204 by the way just to clarify when i say i'm "not a clingy kind of girl" it means that i'm damaged goods and i'm too crazy and emotionally guarded to allow myself the experience of an actual relationship thanx! Thanks for the clarification. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shalae204 Posted August 22, 2005 Author Share Posted August 22, 2005 was that sarcasm? Link to post Share on other sites
Dean3922 Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 If you want more than FWB with his guy you need to be up front with him. He might have the opinion that you just want a booty call. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 It doesn't sound like he's going to be at your beck and call when you want him around. Neither of you have any commitment towards eachother so he probably feels it's a 'when he wants it' fwb. You feel the same way. Neither of you are wrong. If you want to see him on a certain day, call him ahead and ask him. Ask him to call ahead when he wants to see you. If you want a sexual relationship with a guy who wants to see you at regular intervals you both agree on, and this guy doesn't want to do this, stop seeing him or accept the way things are. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by shalae204 was that sarcasm? No. It was my way of providing some sort of response without eliciting any further information from you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shalae204 Posted August 23, 2005 Author Share Posted August 23, 2005 oh............................ Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 any updates on this situstaion Shalae? i am in the same boat hon and it aint fun - I ended up texting him saying i wanted something a little less casual and he didnt reply ....... Eeeeeeeeks Link to post Share on other sites
truelyblue Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 hey, ur prob is pretty simple i think......... u wanted him for sex n he wanted u ..no strings attached ......u made ur self tht available and believe me somthing tht can start out as just sex ends up one person wanting more........... its ur call gurl if u want or njoi the sex so much tht u can stand him calling u at odd hrs without telling u wot he actually wants stay or else get out there into the rest of the world n find urself another guy............coz this guy seems to want only one thing baby and at wotever time he needs it.......... truelyblue Link to post Share on other sites
How_Do_I_Know Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Hi, I am probably responding to this thread late but I thouhgt it was interesting. I think that you want more fromm this guy than you expected. You obviously enjoy his company and don't want "just a booty call" from him. He seems to want just the sex since he hadn't contacted you before you contacted him. And also cuz he called you late one night to "hang out". If I were you, I would just be straight out with him and tell him that you're interested in him more than you thought you'd be. Ask him how he feels and if it's not on the same level as your feelings then move on. He is definately a waste of time if the feelings aren't mutual. I've been in situations like this before and if it starts out that it 's all about the sex, than that's pretty much what it's all about! But, I have learned that if you get to know the person before you start anything physical, it usually works out much better for the long run. But that's only from my personal experience... so don't quote me on that Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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