todreaminblue Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Load of garbage. like l just said here last week and about 50 other times.. whens the last time you read around here some chick all exited about an ******* ! They get left and divorced and the boot., and all that stuff. The first thing they say when they liked him is oh he was really nice and tentative and rah rah rah . Just be who you are guys if she doesn't like that then she's not the women for you. No rocket science needed. so this post..on repeat ..you have to be true to yourself first....if the woman likes the true you ...you will never have to be anything else than who you are..no fake nice....... and it goes for woman being true to themselves too...deb Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 (edited) I think it is in your own point of view. As a nice guy myself, I would not go after any woman that is in to "Bad boys". Why put up with all the baggage? As a nice, whole, put together guy, I am worth more on the market. Real nice guys go fast, they find other good women and marry settle down and have kids. Leaving the women who are into "Bad boys" to wonder where are the nice good guys are when they want to settle down. They deserve what they get in the end. For the guy who is nice, do not sell yourself short, hold out for that woman that complements you. You ideas of fidelity, honor and being a good husband and mate are worth more then you can know. What you really need is self confidence. Have that, and the rest will follow. i agree with everything you posted..... but not the (they deserve what they got in the end) comment...no one even the deluded deserve bad treatment from anyone..its like telling a broken person .....you wanted him he beat you up physically and or and emotionally ......now you want a nice guy....you deserve what you got in the end...what they actually deserved is to be treated with humanity at all times...with respect and understanding.... some people not even only applicable to women....people when young and inexperienced..dont know what is good for them and what is bad they even believe they are the one who can change that guy....or change that woman they are the person that partner will want to settle down with ........so people make poor choices when inexperienced and immature....no one then deserves to say to them.....you deserve what you got...its a lesson that hurts......maybe it needed to be learned the hard way.......that person also should have a chance at dating a nice guy.....for sure.....to be treated right ....to see the other side of loving and being loved....especially when they experience a life lesson and find a change of heart..deb......... Edited December 14, 2017 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 IMO there are two types of nice guys: - The fake ones: They will act super friendly around women in the hope that will get them laid, but in their circle of girl friends they become resentful, bitter and jealous when say friends sleep with other men. These guys lose in the end - The true nice guys: They have a strong moral compass and may not be like those leather jackets bikers that many women go after but they are sincerely kind (Not overly so) generous and caring while in a relationship. These guys Always win. Even though "the nice guys" may be seen as old school they are usually the men women choose and want. Reliability, confidence and stability being nice qualities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 The problem with nice guys is that most of them are taken 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jjgitties Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Sorry, can someone remind me, what was the definition of a nice guy again? I think I forgot 'cause I got lost in all the smoke and mirrors on this thread.. There are no nice guys ladies. We all just want to see your panties and bras. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Sorry, can someone remind me, what was the definition of a nice guy again? I think I forgot 'cause I got lost in all the smoke and mirrors on this thread.. There are no nice guys ladies. We all just want to see your panties and bras. definition of nice guy personally is a guy who would wait till the woman is good and ready for him to see those panties and bras.....and appreciate more than panties and bras.... the inside guts as well as the silk...there are nice guys.....who wait....and show respect for the woman......deb Link to post Share on other sites
jjgitties Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Bingo! Being labelled 'nice' is very subjective indeed. Everyone has their own definition of what makes someone a nice person. Usually being labeled just nice is a bad thing. It usually means the person is lacking in some way. No one wants to hook up with nice people. They want to hook up with interesting people that are fun and have a personality. Almost anyone can be "nice" if you are nice yo them and you get to know them. But not everyone can be interesting and attractive to you. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Ha, ha, Alpha is so funny.... Started the same thread back in 2004, well 3 days earlier in December this time https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/53288-problem-nice-guys-comments-please Good reading! Link to post Share on other sites
jjgitties Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 definition of nice guy personally is a guy who would wait till the woman is good and ready for him to see those panties and bras.....and appreciate more than panties and bras.... the inside guts as well as the silk...there are nice guys.....who wait....and show respect for the woman......deb Being able to relate to females as human beings and individuals and not reducing them to their flesh and genitals does not mean the guy is nice. It just means the guy has intelligence, manners and a modicum of class. But those things combined do not equate to "nice". The guy can still posses personality quirks like passive aggressive, jealousy, and know how to pick fights at the right time during the right arguments and you will still turn around and tell your girlfriends -- what a jerk! Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 IMO there are two types of nice guys: - The fake ones: They will act super friendly around women in the hope that will get them laid, but in their circle of girl friends they become resentful, bitter and jealous when say friends sleep with other men. These guys lose in the end - The true nice guys: They have a strong moral compass and may not be like those leather jackets bikers that many women go after but they are sincerely kind (Not overly so) generous and caring while in a relationship. These guys Always win. Even though "the nice guys" may be seen as old school they are usually the men women choose and want. Reliability, confidence and stability being nice qualities. And true nice guys don't go around saying what a great guy they are all the time. They have a decent sample of humility and simply are what they are, and prove it by their actions. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Being able to relate to females as human beings and individuals and not reducing them to their flesh and genitals does not mean the guy is nice. It just means the guy has intelligence, manners and a modicum of class. But those things combined do not equate to "nice". The guy can still posses personality quirks like passive aggressive, jealousy, and know how to pick fights at the right time during the right arguments and you will still turn around and tell your girlfriends -- what a jerk! in the world of probability those personal traits of intelligence respect manners and a modicum of class should equate to over all...a guy being classed as in all probability.... nice......however.....every nice guy has flaws......as does every woman..no one person is perfect....and guys think about sex either mythically or not....about eight times a day...they can still be nice......its how they handle those thoughts that makes them nice.... when you say that you know that i would turn around and call a guy a jerk......do you really know that......that i would.....i tend to defend more than call guys jerks......i try not to call people names.....i of course have been known to slip up....i normally admit that too.. i mostly hold onto the nice i find in guys....because like women and animals...men are often jerks...i like the ones who can apologise and mean it........deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 The problem with nice guys is that they're not really nice. They only think they are... and this self delusion is often such a problem that they never see themselves accurately. All the biggest jerks I've ever met are self professed "nice guys" with a holier than thou attitude and so full of resentment for not being put on a pedestal that it's impossible to deal with these guys. No matter what you say to them to try to help them while they're complaining about not being treated right by women and the world (and trust me, they're always complaining) they're too stuck in their own sense of grandeur to hear you and will keep on being defensive over how great they are and how it's everyone else's fault but their own. This happens UNFAILINGLY. Now when I hear a man brag about what a nice guy they are.. it turns me off right away. HUGE red flag Nailed it! This has been my experience too. My 'nice guy' was my abusive ex. I know of a guy right now, self proclaimed, married 6 months ago, his wife has breast cancer, after they were married secondary cancer was found and now it's spread to two other places. He has a harem of women whom he sexts by work IM, email and text every day. He has been the same over the last 10 years single, engaged, married, on his honeymoon even. When he 'wants to talk' about his situation his place of choice to meet these women is the sauna. If they decline that, funnily enough he no longer needs to talk. He has been trying to add me to his hareem for years, he tried again last night via text. I ignored him as usual. What a nice guy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 i would never describe myself as a nice guy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Nice guys just don't turn women on. Why? There are lots of reasons. But let's start with the basics. They're just not exciting. Have you heard the country song, "Ladies love outlaws"? Most women are attracted to a little bit of danger. Plus, in order to have the "in love" feeling, a woman has to have her love returned somewhat, but not altogether, and yet she has to have hope of having it returned altogether in the future. Women need the excitement that makes her wonder, "Will he call or won't he?" Don't become too predictable. Yes, nice guys often finish last. Maybe it's because there's no challenge. Maybe it's because too nice is too boring. Nice guys give too much too soon. They need to learn to give a little bit, and not consistently. Giving consistently doesn't make a woman want more. Giving intermittently makes her want more. The kiss of death for a relationship (in the courting stage) is when they are always there for her and she knows you love her more than life. That's a lot more pressure than a woman wants in the beginning of a relationship. She wants a little equality, in terms of you both deciding at a similar speed if you want to be in a romantic relationship -- not you've decided and now she has to get on board. Plus this is also true too. Just a different type of 'nice' guy. If I'm getting to know someone I don't want them in my face every moment of the day and I don't want simple dating and getting to know to turn into full on relationship mode - that's unrealistic. But then these kind of guys will tend to move on to online stalking, wanting to know your every move, insisting upon any free time you have being theirs. Becoming suffocating and controlling types. That's not nice, that is massively unhealthy behaviour. In recent years these are the only types of men I have met - which is why I rarely ever date - they're all too full on way too soon. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 We all just want to see your panties and bras. Self-proclaimed here. But I think I've succeeded in walking the talk as well as keeping the talk to myself. Sure I want to see panties and bras. However there is no 'just' about it. I want to know the woman as a human being, care for and about her, have that caring be reciprocated, and check off all these boxes before seeing the panties and bras. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sdraw108 Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 There are no nice guys ladies. We all just want to see your panties and bras. Have you heard of the false consensus effect? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_consensus_effect If I "just" want to see panties and bras, I can just live out the rest of my days in strip clubs, and save myself the hard work and effort that comes into building a solid relationship. I don't do that, because there is far more to a girl than that. Contrary to your belief, not all men are merely walking penises. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 i would never describe myself as a nice guy Same here. And it is partially due to my inability to define that term in any meaningful way. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 I will say that I am a nice guy... I am a great guy, and for the girls that don't give me any unnecessary BullS*** I am a great Boy Friend. I am always nice, until I am not. And I stay nice until I have a reason to not be nice. My rules are pretty strict though, women get one and only one chance with me, blow that and we are done, and it is your fault, because you knew the rules. I think that is fair... Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 i would never describe myself as a nice guy Same here. And it is partially due to my inability to define that term in any meaningful way. Exactly. I can be nice and I can do nice things but I would never call myself a nice guy; it's just too subjective. I've know a few guys with dating woes that would call themselves nice guys and give the whole nice guys finish last spiel. In each case what they described as nice, I saw as an inability to clearly, unambiguously show their sexual/romantic interest in girls/women they liked. They had became convinced that showing such interest was somehow disrespectful and would go through all sorts of contortions to try to show it without actually showing it. Time after time they would get swooped by guys that knew how to express their interest and decide that it was because these guys were not nice guys. ...and it's sad that I feel I have to qualify this, but leering, groping, whipping out your d!, etc., are not what I mean by showing sexual/romantic interest. That actually wouldn't be nice... Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Nice guys just don't turn women on. Why? There are lots of reasons. But let's start with the basics. They're just not exciting. Have you heard the country song, "Ladies love outlaws"? Most women are attracted to a little bit of danger. Plus, in order to have the "in love" feeling, a woman has to have her love returned somewhat, but not altogether, and yet she has to have hope of having it returned altogether in the future. Women need the excitement that makes her wonder, "Will he call or won't he?" Don't become too predictable. Yes, nice guys often finish last. Maybe it's because there's no challenge. Maybe it's because too nice is too boring. Nice guys give too much too soon. They need to learn to give a little bit, and not consistently. Giving consistently doesn't make a woman want more. Giving intermittently makes her want more. The kiss of death for a relationship (in the courting stage) is when they are always there for her and she knows you love her more than life. That's a lot more pressure than a woman wants in the beginning of a relationship. She wants a little equality, in terms of you both deciding at a similar speed if you want to be in a romantic relationship -- not you've decided and now she has to get on board. Usually it’s mostly because they aren’t good looking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 (edited) In my early 30's I had a great sex life. Nothing serious, lots of FWB's, several I had known for years. They had their lives I had mine, and every once in while we would get together. My work schedule started at 6 in the morning, was finished and home and floating in the pool by 2:15, with a drink. Sleep for a couple of hours, then about the time most people were getting home, I was taking a shower and getting ready to hit the bars. Where I stayed until at least midnight, home for a couple of hours sleep, after maybe a ONS, and it was time to go to work again. I lived in a large singles only complex, was a good cook, did a lot of grilling, met lots of ladies that way. I had a two bedroom apartment, and the second bedroom was set up for Boudoir photography. I had the back drops, props, lighting. The women would buy the film, and after the shoot, I would return it to them for them to process. I had a good reputation and it was not uncommon for me to answer a knock at my door to find a women I had never met asking if I would be willing to take nude photos of her. Enter the future wife. She knew about my bad boy ways but was determined to marry me. Example: She did not get home until after 6 on Fridays, one Friday, a race car friend stopped by at 4 asked for my help, off we went to the track, turned some practice laps, then back to his place to make several changes, that took most of the night, I slept there, then that night back out to the track where he won, so we partied. I did not get home until afternoon on Sunday and never called her. Another time she came home early on a week night to find me in bed with her best friend. I told her she had a choice, she could get mad and leave or join in. At the time I was getting a lot of pressure from my family to settle down and start a family. Me being the only one of a dozen grand children capable of passing on the family name. And the future wife had a fantastic body, foldout material, sex with her was any where, any way any time. If I must settle down with just one woman, why not choose the sexiest one. That and her begging me to change my ways. I did not love her until I saw her walking down the aisle to take her vows. Then poof, I can be a daddy, have a family, and I totally changed my ways. No more partying, straight home from work, even went to church with her. A nice guy Six months after the wedding we broke up. My nice guy days were over Edited December 14, 2017 by 2.50 a gallon Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 Usually it’s mostly because they aren’t good looking. that's a factor but I have met some good looking guys who strike out with the ladies 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nothingtolose Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 I would agree that unfortunately the problem is when they are just nice, and not good looking. Also, the whole bad boy, blowing hot and cold thing, is only exciting to GIRLS, not WOMEN. Once you mature, you get sick of that crap, and you crave stability, knowing where you stand, feeling safe. Bad boys can't provide that. Also, one thing I'd highly stress: you can be 100% nice, but please PLEASE have a killer sense of humor. Make jokes, have banter, break into silly songs with the girl, etc. This is super important. I find that often guys who are super nice don't know how to be funny, are constantly scared of saying the wrong thing/sounding inappropriate etc. You can be super funny without being a jackass, and I think some guys don't know how to find that balance. I've lost count at the amount of dates Ive been on with a guy who was perfectly nice but was SO serious, couldn't make a joke, treated the date like it was an interview etc...incredibly boring. So please, for f* sake, have a sense of humor 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Have you heard of the false consensus effect? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_consensus_effect If I "just" want to see panties and bras, I can just live out the rest of my days in strip clubs, and save myself the hard work and effort that comes into building a solid relationship. I don't do that, because there is far more to a girl than that. Contrary to your belief, not all men are merely walking penises. We sometimes sit, stand, run, lay down, jump. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Usually it’s mostly because they aren’t good looking. Add to that: Average looking at best. Social skills weak. They can be pleasant, well mannered, but not natural conversationalists. They don't have the skills to close the deal with the women. Not meaning that he can't get them into bed. Just that he can't get dates and if he does the second date does not follow, so forget the relationships. Income: with todays goal of $100,000 income being something to brag and desired by women. The nice guy makes $50,000 a year and is not going to do better. Though he is considered a good worker and is able to keep his job. The women will ignore him. Not fat, but not toned, maybe looks so thin you would think he is fighting cancer. The women will ignore him. He showers, shaves, clean clothes everyday. Regular hair cuts. These things make him a good guy. But not good enough to the women pass on him. He's a nice guy. Is the same kiss of death. Just as when a man tells a friend: do you want to date my cousin. Yeah, well tell me about her first, well she's got a great personality. Then we know why she can't get a date on her own. Link to post Share on other sites
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