Am I a Nice Guy or Bad Boy

[Mysterio]

We have this post on Nice Guys. I would like to see what women see as Nice vs Bad.

 

Here is who I am. I am a 46 yr old Canadian Black Male. I live in a Condo, down the street from the Hospital I work at.

 

I come into work and get to work and help my Co-workers out when I can.

 

I am good to my friends and family. If I am treated bad. I talk about it or fade away from the person.

 

I like to have introspective convrsations and laughs. My ex wanted to have a kid with me. I told her no, because we were not gelled enough with each other. Was I being bad.

 

I am a straight shooter, but I temper it with the wisdom of not being blunt.

 

I am tied of all this mixd messages of nice vs bad. I have two female friends. One is 66 the other 36. If you told me to choose one romantically. The 66 yr old wins because she has shown me more warmth/kindness and niceness. Than the 36 yr old, who can b a little cold and aloof.

 

So for me. If a woman is tuned off by niceness. Thats her problem. I want my GF to be a nice woman. Not so nice to be a doormat. Yet nice and pleasent. My buddy MK married his wife 17 yrs ago. She is a nice woman and I am impressed by her. I want the same thing as well.

 

My buddy S is a bad boy. He cheated on his wife and now is seperated from her now. He has a new GF. Unless he has changed or told his new GF that if he has the opportunity to get laid and will take. She better be ok with it. Would any lady here be into that.

 

Being balanced is the way to be in the long run.

[d0nnivain]

You are a confident well grounded man. That is the best thing to be. You certainly are not a bad boy but to the extent that you see being a "nice guy" as a bad thing, you don't strike me as a doormat. If you have boundaries & can express any opinion other than "whatever you want, honey" you are happily in the middle, free from the down sides of either extreme.

[What_Did_I_Do]

I'm Canadian too eh.

 

How are you in a relationship though. Thoughtfulness and kindness to friends, family and co-workers are wonderful traits but if you behave differently in a relationship, that could be a completely separate category for the Nice Guy/Bad Guy label.

 

I noticed that when two 'nice' people are in a relationship, there tends to be some longevity to their union.

 

To me - and everyone's definition and criteria will be different - a nice guy is respectful, open minded, thoughtful, not afraid to share thoughts or emotion. Too nice is a doormat - unable to make a decision or stand ground as a man, agrees with everything their partners says or does, afraid of any type of confrontation or difficult discussion in the RL (not to be confused with conflict avoidant - which is another issue unrelated to this topic).