It's a sensitive situation, am I being insensitive?

[circusfood]

okay here's the deal,

 

me and my fiance are getting married on November 11th.

 

We just planned and got everything in order and are ready

to send out the invites and everything....

 

I'm having second thoughts...not about my fiance...but about

the date, November 11th. We both just picked it because

it seemed like a good day, friday, in fall, done. So we secured

the date, made payments towards a place to have it..etc..

 

But what i failed to remember during planning is that my Uncle passed away

almost a year ago on November 17th. He was killed in an accident.

We mourned like crazy, cried, sobbed for weeks, some family members are still mourning.

But some of us have been strong and gotten on with things.

 

But Now, I feel like a heel, planning my wedding so close to the anniversary of his

death. I guess in my wanting to focus on the wedding and other things, i sort

of forgot that in november it'll be a year since he's been gone. Part of me

thinks it's fine, my parents think it's fine...My fiance thinks it's fine, though she's

worried it will cause problems or come off as insensitive... as am i.

 

Do you think it's weird? should I take the loss in money and move the date?

it'll set us back a couple thousand to change the date. I feel dumb and although

i feel like It won't be that big of a deal, i'm still a tad bit worried it will be.

[JS17]

IMO, you don't need to change the date. Maybe look at it as if he would want you to be happy and celebrating a year later. It's an event to lift everyone's spirits at a particularly dark time.

[New_Wife]

Honor him at the wedding. Can you find a way to dedicate something to him? Maybe set a small table with a single plate & glass that is not to be used, merely in his honor so you can include him in spirit?

[circusfood]

UPDATE:

 

We ended up moving the date to Jan 28th (in a week and a half)

mainly because of the the anniversay of my uncle's death and

we thought it over and then decided to move it save more money

and add a few more beautiful things to our ceremony.

 

Anyway, the prob i'm dealing with now, is that on the 30th, two days

after our wedding, my aunt is holding a big gathering in honor of

my uncle's B-Day and since everyone will be in from out

of town for our wedding on friday, they are all going to the gathering

and to the cemetery for prayer on Monday.

 

the thing is, me and my bride have already planned to go out of town

on that Sunday for our honeymoon, so we'll totally miss out on the

gathering. I just found out about the gathering it today.

 

So now i feel bad, that we'll be off celebrating our marriage, while

my whole family and even those that flew in from out of town, will

be there at the Gathering for my uncle.

 

 

Am i beinf foolish? we are planning to have the minister say

something in honor of my uncle and family members who have passed

at the wedding...

 

I don't know. I don't know what the right thing to do is...

[whichwayisup]

I think that the minister saying something is a great idea!

 

And I also think most people WILL understand, your plans were already made first. Don't feel guilty. Remember, what would you uncle wanted you to do? My guess is would be to go ahead with the honeymoon.

 

Can you talk to your Aunt? Let her know you're struggling with this decision and you don't want anybody hurt...

[a4a]

Both of my Hs parents are dead. So to honor them without upsetting any person or to bring sadness to those attending we simply included a picture of 2 beautiful flowers and put in memory of his parents with a nice quote.

 

 

a4a