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can someone tell me what is going on...


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I don't normally "get" women...but tell me what's happening/happened here.

 

Two weeks ago on a monday night...all is well in the world. The following tuesday...all is hell in the world. Tuesday my wife decided to tell me that she had fun at a party b/c "you weren't there." She also says she's not sexually attracted to me, and she says that she's not happy with me. My world is immediately crushed.

 

So I get home (I was on a business trip...yes she told this to me on the phone) and life is so weird...we talk for an hour or two and I call up a marriage counselor, and set the appt for the next day. We went the next day, and talked, and decided that we should work on our marriage, and that she shouldn't just up and leave (like she planned). So the next day...she decides she doesn't want to work on it, and she's ready to leave. We even go so far as to seperate our stuff. Then I talked her into one more week to try things out.

 

I am in that week right now...(had another business trip in the middle of that story). She and I went to dinner, and went to a movie, all seemed ok. But she decided to tell me that it felt wrong when I would touch her leg...or any kind of touching. She finally put it all out there last night, and told me that when she was at the party some guy was hitting on her and giving her a massage, and she wanted to cheat...but she apparantly didn't. Also, my best friend felt it appropriate to tell her that he had a sex dream about her...

 

It all started when I went to Iraq for 5 months. I get back and everything is weird. But can someone tell me what's going on in her head? Why would she have decided that I'm not sexually attractive, after 1.5 years of happy marriage, and 2.5 years of being together. What made her flip on me like this? IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. Any advice would be appreciative, seeing how I am clueless as to what's happening to her. She is 27 years old (if that makes any difference) and we don't have any kids.

 

~lost.

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What a dreadful situation, I don't know how you are managing to cope. She needs to go to counselling on her own, this is down to her. If she wants things to work she needs time to find out how she herself feels. She is clearly confused. Tell her that you do not have a problem with her but feel as though she has a problem with you and this she needs to sort out with the help of a counsellor. When she has been on her own, only then can both of you go to a marraige counsellor together.

If she refuses to go to a counsellor, she is refusing the relationship, leave her. Don't let this grag either sort it (which is down to her) or go. x

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