So insecure

[mortensorchid]

I was going to go to an audition tonight. I had/have it in my head I want to be an actor. I have gone on many and I have been rejected by all of them. I was outside the building tonight and I froze. I didn't go in and didn't even try, I am so afraid of rejection anymore. This applies to my arid love life as well. No more OLD because it's a waste of time anymore but it's the only way I can think of to meet any potential dates. Which makes it more depressing.

 

I wanted to cry tonight. I walked away without even trying. I have this feeling like no one wants me that has been lingering for the past year or so. After being burned so many times I can't and won't try with anyone. And it's not like anyone is interested and I am rejecting them, it's just ... Nothing. I live an isolation life.

 

I have no confidence anymore that I am even ... Loveable. I try to keep hope that it can and will happen, getting a part and the love life, but I am so afraid of rejection anymore. What to do?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

What to do?

 

Go on the next audition. <3

 

You remind me SO much of a friend of mine it's crazy! And she's been in theater, too. She's also a teacher and is currently the drama teacher as well. Or the play director or something.

[BaileyB]

My friend, have you ever seen a counsellor? I feel like you need someone in your corner right now, to support you and encourage you to keep fighting. Your posts just break my heart.

[Buriall]

You need to speak with a shrink..Im afraid this is going to cause more damage to your self being.

 

One thing to remember though...No matter how much you think youre not loveable and whatnot, this is not true.. You are worth EVERYTHING

[Nadine123]

this will help you alot you beautiful soul

 

[mortensorchid]

I have no health insurance.

[Buriall]

I have no health insurance.

 

There must be something thats free of charge...this is at least where im from..

 

Now do you want help or you are afraid you will be judged??

[mortensorchid]

When I had health insurance I saw a shrink for years. But I can't now that I don't have insurance and that's a few years now. I am not against taking meds either, which I have taken but got off of because my Rx ran out.

 

I don't wallow or cry, I don't suffer and moan to others or dwell on things unlike a lot of others I know. No one wants to be around a sad sack or someone who always needs reassurance. I am not a high maintenance person that way. I think I get passed over.

 

I can't discuss these things with others around me, that's what forums are for right?

 

It's a Catch 22.

[Chilli]

Well you sound like you'd be pretty lovable to me.

But yeah l think it'd really help you to off load too, what about just a councellor ,here you can use this free phone up service which l used going through my divorce and they were damn good too mostly.

l found out along the way they were all professionals and some even actually shrinks just putting in a few nights a wk to help people out that couldn't afford it.

 

And you know ,so many actors tried and tried for years until one day eventually they nailed a role.

l was a painter for a long time , many a gallery knock back but eventually they were ringing me.

[Nadine123]

watch the video I posted, it will really help you.