On the verge to lose my marriage and my wonderful and lovable husband

[GorillaTheater]

i was shocked, how come my parents are so insensitive towards my emotions and feelings

 

Your self-centeredness is noteworthy, but sadly not too "unique".

 

I called my ex boyfriend asking for help to locate and find my husband current address.

 

Comedy gold.

[d0nnivain]

I called my ex boyfriend asking for help to locate and find my husband current address.

 

 

WHAT? Clearly you don't want to fix your marriage. The guy you slept with can't be the person you turn to in an effort to get your marriage back on track. He's the last person your STBXH wants around.

 

 

I'm sorry your parents are picking him over you but hopefully their reactions will help you understand just how serious this is. You may lose them too if you don't start acting remorseful & repentant.

[BaileyB]

My parents told me give your husband space and divorce, if he wants.

 

i was shocked, how come my parents are so insensitive towards my emotions and feelings.

 

and the worst part was when my mom said your husband deserves better than you.

 

I called my ex boyfriend asking for help to locate and find my husband current address.

[/b]

 

Your parents are very right. Your husband does deserve better.

 

You don't get this, at all. Indeed, comedy gold.

[aliveagain]

Turning to the man that helped you destroy your marriage to save it pretty much says it all. Stop and think about what you wrote, don't take our advice, call and speak to the counselor your scheduled to meet with and ask them for their advice. Your house is burning and your trying to put out the fire by throwing gasoline on it. The more you associate with your affair partner the farther away your husband will get from you. Have you ever been diagnosed by a mental health specialist, are you on any treatment program or on any kind of prescribed medication?

[jjgitties]

this thread can't possibly be real. it must be a troll trolling.

[WilyWill]

Gosh, I feel so bad that your parents hurt you. Don't they understand that you're a real person with real feelings? How could someone be so callous? I mean, you are always cognizant of others' feelings, right?

 

Seriously, leave your husband alone. You've done enough already. Why rub salt in the wound? Thanks to you, he'll probably never be able to trust again.

 

Can't you just see past your own selfishness at some point and let him pick up the pieces of his life?

[Colin Grant]

Too late. You are humiliating him further. You may want him, but consider what he wants for a change. If you really love him and want him to be happy, give him EVERYTHING he wants. If that means never seeing you again, grant him that immediately so that he can heal from the trauma.

 

Not trying to be harsh, but I've placed myself in his shoes and personally, I would seek to remove the shame and embarrassment that my wife inflicted upon me. It's a irreparable situation, I've never made a statement like that before. Best to restart elsewhere after you resurrect your moral principles with help from professionals.

 

May take a while before you're ready. You need a tremendous amount of personal work before a any type of meaningful relationship occurs. One final thing. This story is so horrific, I actually don't believe it. I hope I'm right. If wrong, It's the worst I've ever read, and I've read some dandies.

[mikeylo]

I will not leave my husband, and will put my effort to make this marriage work.

 

He will leave you. Its better you do it mutual consent otherwise trial would not be good for you. Is it a fault or no fault state? Start looking at your state laws.

[justbetweenus]

Thanks for the reply,

 

Offcourse, i love my husband and i want to work on this marriage.

 

You are not ready to be married. You may think you love your husband, but you don't really know what love is or means. Your idea of love is superficial. You say you want your marriage, but then you continue to cheat on him even after you've been caught. It is clear to me you do not have the emotional maturity to return the love that you may or may not have been given.

 

If your husband gave you another chance, you'd almost certainly cheat on him again unless you sought professional help, and made some major behavioral changes.

[Purepony]

This thread just proves how much we like drama.

The pages get longer and longer and the situations get worse

I feel for th op but I think she’s just losing it at this point

[anika99]

thanks for the reply.

 

god bless all of us.

 

Update : I went to my parents house, they said today is your second marriage anniversary, and you are alone.

 

My parents told me give your husband space and divorce, if he wants.

 

i was shocked, how come my parents are so insensitive towards my emotions and feelings and they said that they will take my husband side if my husband proves my infidelity and other activities in court .and they said they dont want to loose such a good man , so even after my divorce, my parents will consider my husband as their sone,may be not son i law.

 

and the worst part was when my mom said your husband deserves better than you.

 

I was in tears and left my parents house.

 

I called my ex boyfriend asking for help to locate and find my husband current address.

 

Holy Moses! OP are you even telling us a true story or are you just making this up for fun?

 

If this is real then of course you're parents are disappointed in you. why would they take your side? You're the one who behaved shamefully. Your husband does deserve better. Leave him the heck alone.

 

And after this you are still running to your ex boyfriend for help? That's insane. YOU DO NO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND. You are selfish and only think of your own immediate gratification. You are not marriage material. Stay single and have lots of sex with lots of different men. Don't get pregnant. Just live for your own hedonistic pleasure but don't hurt other people

[usa1ah]

Well, this proves that the apple can fall very far from the tree. Your parents sound like lovely people.

 

It’s the culture where she lives. Betrayal like this is not taken likely. Also if her husband knew she had been sexually active before their marriage, he would never had married her.

[Darren Steez]

That rattling sound...

 

Chains being yanked..

[FilterCoffee]

But my husband was quiet,didnot reacted and acted normally, so he invited my inlaws and mom and dad and he asked my inlaws and my parents and me, there is some surprise and on our TV he showed all those videos and pics to me ,my inlaws and my parents

 

Here in India, it's very uncommon for couples, including miserable ones, to get a divorce. There's considerable societal pressure to not get one and that's probably the reason why divorce rates are much lower here compared to western cultures. The reason why he did the above was because he didn't want his parents and his in-laws to coax him into staying with OP. Had he not done it, he would have been harangued from all sides on how marriages go through turbulent times and that one must "stay strong and committed". He obviously didn't want to go through all of that.

 

OP, your husband clearly doesn't want to be with you. The least you can do is grant him the easiest possible divorce. In a way, it's good for you as well because you can be with your ex without having to sneak around.

[sdraw108]

I’m a pretty forgiving guy but if I was in his position and did what he did.... invite everyone over for that movie I’m sure he thought it over very carefully and decided that was it.

 

Agreed. Having everyone else watch the movie ensures that if he even considers reconciling, he will be humiliated in front of his entire family and friends. He knew that when he arranged this.

 

There's no going back.

[unique women]

Today, I met my ex-boyfriend and told him, from today on wards we are not going to be in contact with each other, finally I unfriend him from snapchat, Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, and twitter, and blocked his email id and removed his contact numbers from my phone,

 

I know, it was hard for me, but finally I did that.

No more contact and help or any kind of sexual relation with my ex bf.

 

Second update, People who are asking why I did not marry my ex-boyfriend, we were emotionally not that compatible, he is very aggressive and sometimes don’t understand my feeling and he was very controlling in nature, and ex bf liked me but he finally fell in love with someone else, so he married that lady. I lost my virginity to this guy.

There after I met another guy (second ex-boyfriend) in my previous organization, so we were liking each other, but there were certain things which we did not liked about each other, after 6 months we decided on mutual consent to break our relationship,

Before my marriage I was in relationship with two guys, I had sexual intercourse with both of them during my relationship on regular basis.

 

After1 year, my parents brought the proposal and picture of my husband.

 

I decide finally I will go with my parent’s decision as my previous relationships were not that strong and married my husband, on our wedding night my husband told me to have my comfort and be relaxed and when you feel to talk or want to talk, we will talk,

 

After my wedding night, next day morning he prepared my breakfast and prepared my lunch, I was shocked and surprised, he was so gentle and kind in nature, later on we started talking after some days and he did all those house hold task, which I asked him to do, he is totally different from my previous ex bf, then I realised he was never into any kind of previous relationship, he respects my parents and his parents in the same way,

I was hesitant, as I know my husband is so pure and innocent, but I asked him are you a virgin or were you into any kind of relationship, my husband responded “yes, he is virgin and he was never into any kind of relationship.” And he told me, as per my convenience and love, he will lose his virginity to me,

 

He thought the same about me regarding relationship and virginity, I thought of telling him the truth, but somehow, I was scared and hesitant.

As our schedule was so busy we did not get the leave for our honeymoon so after two weeks from my marriage day, we went to Spain and there first time we had sex, and I realized my husband is far better than my previous ex bf, in terms of sexual activity and position, and touch and cuddle and kissing and I taught him all those sexual things and I am proud of that, but after 4 months of marriage, he went for a trip, unfortunately I contacted my exbf and then all those things happened.

I have never met any man like my husband he is so caring and lovable in nature, whenever he touched me I always responded and reciprocated his love,

Now I miss those warmth and touch of his body and daily kiss,

 

I know people will make fun of me or get angry, but I want to fight for this marriage.

 

Because of my job and overtime, I was stressed and had some health issue like backpain and headache, so I consulted a doctor and started taking oxidants and medicine,

But because pf my husband love and compassion, all those stress were gone, but again I am having those issues from last one week

 

I know chances are less of survival of my marriage.

I have deleted all those pics and videos from my phone, email and PC, may be my husband is having copy of all those things.

Tomorrow, I am having a session with individual Counsellor.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I know chances are less of survival of my marriage.

I have deleted all those pics and videos from my phone, email and PC, may be my husband is having copy of all those things.

Tomorrow, I am having a session with individual Counsellor.

 

On a scale of 1 to 10, how remorseful are you?

[unique women]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how remorseful are you?

 

 

It,s 10 and i am remorseful to that extent , can do anything to work on for this marriage and my husband.

[Deepremorse5]

this thread can't possibly be real. it must be a troll trolling.

 

I feel the same. Being from the same culture as mentioned by the OP, I feel few details are too explicit and irrelevant to be shared.

[usa1ah]

I feel the same. Being from the same culture as mentioned by the OP, I feel few details are too explicit and irrelevant to be shared.

 

Or un like you Deepremorse5, she really doesn’t love her husband. She doesn’t have the same mindset that you have.

[usa1ah]

Deepremorse5’s husband actually is being kind to her by shielding her. He knows he has grounds for divorce and can ruin her. Instead has filed as incompatible.

 

UW on the other hand has exposed his wife completely to the family in a vivid way. He will not stay in the marriage after this. I say he will file with cause and use the videos as the proof. He will ruin her reputation along with her family.

[WilyWill]

You need to learn what love is. It's not about you getting what you want when you want it. It's about unselfishly putting someone else's needs above your own. If you love your husband, do right by him. Leave him alone to live a happy life with a decent woman. For the first time in your life, do the right thing, the selfless thing. You broke this, you broke him. Stop serving your own ego for once in your pathetic life.

[wmacbride]

When I read this, all I could think of was a little child who will beg and plead mom or dd for the toy she wants, then when she gets it, she loses interest and wants the next toy.

 

OP,

if you really acre about your husband you will act selflessly. Tell him that until you have gotten counseling to understand why you did what you did, you will leave him alone.

[Poutrew]

OP, my only advice to you is to get back with your boyfriend, the one you say is aggressive. Maybe if you bake up a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies with him from scratch, I can almost guarantee that after you and BF have finished eating them up you will have forgotten almost completely about your husband. And to look on the brighter side, since you will be with the BF, you don't have to be always filming all those juicy BJ's you keep giving him...

 

Now as for your hubby, please don't fight for him, and leave the poor guy to lick his wounds in peace... your absence will be the greatest gift you can give him.

[salparadise]

When I read this, all I could think of was a little child...

 

The way she describes the events, the reactions, and her own expectations does exhibit childlike naiveté. She can deduce that her behavior is deemed unacceptable by everyone, however, that realization exists only as cognition and does not integrate to create overall social awareness or compliance.

 

She is mystified as to why so many people would be so upset with her. She doesn't understand why her parents aren't consoling her for the unfortunate predicament she finds herself in. And why wouldn't her husband just let it go, after all it was a simple mistake, he wasn't even supposed to know... more akin to a miscommunication.

 

It's also odd that when describing the showing of the video that she didn't say a word about feeling humiliated, and throughout thread she says nothing to indicate feelings of conscience or remorse, except for rating it as 10 when specifically asked.

 

The moral/social development is just not there––missing; since her husband wasn't around, what would be so wrong about taking a sex vacation to Paris? She wants what she wants, why is that not ok? In the meantime, the ex-bf is available... and after 5 pages of shaming she's like, ok I deleted the guy's number, so everything is good now. Chronologically adult, but the emotional/moral/social development of a five year old.