Young and dumb. Tried to make my ex jealous

[LenaBean94]

So my ex broke up with me but then tried to reconcile a week later. I told him no. He nodded his head, grabbed his keys, then walked out. I ended up sending him a message 30 minutes later. Then I kind of bombarded him with messages that very same night *smacks forehead*. He ignored most of the messages. I sent another message about a week later saying I was having a hard time. He said he was too and that was it.

 

Fast forward a few weeks. Last night I had a date. I took a quick video of the food and showed my date off and posted the video on Instagram. I got a message from him that night saying it pained him to see me move on but he loved me enough to be happy for me. I replied back with, "huh". He said I'm talking about your date. I replied back this morning and told him that I loved him a lot but we had a lot of issues. I sent him another message saying I shouldn't give out any information about what may or may not be going on in in my dating life. He said he didn't ask and then said as always wish you the best.

 

I don't know how to take his responses. I was kind of thrown off that he responded that way.

 

Thoughts?

Edited December 24, 2017 by LenaBean94

[HumanMachine]

So did you intentionally try to make him jealous? If so what were you hoping to achieve?

 

Assuming the ‘94’ relates to your year of birth, that would make you 23.. too old to use the young and dumb excuse imo

[Emmafive]

So did you intentionally try to make him jealous? If so what were you hoping to achieve?

 

Assuming the ‘94’ relates to your year of birth, that would make you 23.. too old to use the young and dumb excuse imo

 

Of course she did. Who tells their ex no to reconciliation, then basically harass them with messages, then tell them they are having a hard time, to a few weeks later 'hey I've moved on look at me!'?

[Marc878]

You're chasing in a way which always pushes them farther away.

 

The attempted manipulation is easy to see through and will work in the same fashion.

[LenaBean94]

You're chasing in a way which always pushes them farther away.

 

The attempted manipulation is easy to see through and will work in the same fashion.

 

So you think I've pushed him away?

[HumanMachine]

So you think I've pushed him away?

 

Yes

 

10 characters

[BaileyB]

Thoughts?

 

You have a lot of maturing to do until you are ready for a relationship. Seriously.

Grown up people don't attempt to manipulate others in this way...

[stillafool]

It means he's leaving you to your immaturity and moving on. Better luck with your next boyfriend.

[LenaBean94]

It means he's leaving you to your immaturity and moving on. Better luck with your next boyfriend.

 

Why do you say that he's moving on?

[BaileyB]

Why do you say that he's moving on?

 

Um, he didn't take your bait when you flaunted your date in front of him and then told him that you loved him... he just wished you the best.

 

He is moving on, and so should you...

[LenaBean94]

Um, he didn't take your bait when you flaunted your date in front of him and then told him that you loved him... he just wished you the best.

 

He is moving on, and so should you...

 

Right, but I said I loved him in past tense and then went on to explain why we weren't together.

[HumanMachine]

Right, but I said I loved him in past tense and then went on to explain why we weren't together.

 

So what’s the purpose of this thread then?

[burnt]

What exactly is it that you want from him?

 

a) You want to get back together?

Then compose a message and send to him; think it through well and write honestly and openly. Tell him what you are going through and exactly what it is that you want from him. Explain this entire "posting your date pictures to make him jealous" business. If he wants to give this relationship another try and if you are willing to do the same, give it a try whole-heartedly--without playing games and mind tricks. Nobody likes to be toyed with. If he is not willing to give it a try, leave him alone and move on.

 

b) You don't want to get back with him but just want to taunt him?

Stop contacting him. He needs to move on and deserves someone more mature and dedicated. People's hearts are not toys to play with; stop playing games with his mind. Because of the way you are toying with him, even long after he is completely over you, he may have trouble trusting all the future women in his life. That is neither fair to him nor to all the other women to come.

[Emmafive]

Right, but I said I loved him in past tense and then went on to explain why we weren't together.

 

I'm calling BS. OP you need to be honest with yourself. You sent him all these messages and told him you were having a hard time to saying you loved him in past tense only a few weeks later?

 

My guess is that too was calculated. He didn't react the way you wanted so you tried to take another jab because there was no reason to even respond to him in the first place let alone even mention the word love, past tense or not.

[elaine567]

The important part is that HE dumped you.

He then felt he made a bit of a mistake so he wanted to reconcile, you refuse to reconcile, so he thinks, "Yes I probably made the right decision. Its finished"

 

Then after a few weeks of nothing basically happening, you hit on the idea to make him jealous, but all he sees is you moving swiftly on with some other guy, which again underlines his thinking that he did the right thing in dumping you.

 

Making people jealous can work sometimes but often it can backfire spectacularly, when that person goes, "FINE, I am sure he/she will make you very happy, but we're now definitely done."

[LenaBean94]

The important part is that HE dumped you.

He then felt he made a bit of a mistake so he wanted to reconcile, you refuse to reconcile, so he thinks, "Yes I probably made the right decision. Its finished"

 

Then after a few weeks of nothing basically happening, you hit on the idea to make him jealous, but all he sees is you moving swiftly on with some other guy, which again underlines his thinking that he did the right thing in dumping you.

 

Making people jealous can work sometimes but often it can backfire spectacularly, when that person goes, "FINE, I am sure he/she will make you very happy, but we're now definitely done."

 

And you think he's the latter?

[BaileyB]

What exactly is it that you want from him?

 

a) You want to get back together?

Then compose a message and send to him; think it through well and write honestly and openly. Tell him what you are going through and exactly what it is that you want from him. Explain this entire "posting your date pictures to make him jealous" business. If he wants to give this relationship another try and if you are willing to do the same, give it a try whole-heartedly--without playing games and mind tricks. Nobody likes to be toyed with. If he is not willing to give it a try, leave him alone and move on.

 

Don't do this. He is not coming back. If you send him a message, you will just look desperate. Keep your dignity, learn from this experience, and find somebody else to date. Hopefully next time, you will behave better.

[elaine567]

And you think he's the latter?

 

I would guess so, he is not blowing up your phone begging you to come back as it was all just a dreadful mistake, is he?

[Leojax]

Put a fork in it. It/he's done.

 

He was so...accepting of things. Like he's at peace with it all. That sounds like someone who has moved on.

 

If he had reacted differently like pissed off or incredibly sad then you'd still have a chance. The man said he was happy for you and then wished you well. That doesn't sound like someone who is still interested in you.

[Leojax]

Oh and he's no fool. After all that messaging and saying you were struggling he knows/knew that you still wanted to be with him then so that little Instagram stunt was a lot more obvious than you thought. He probably saw right through that.

[LenaBean94]

Don't do this. He is not coming back. If you send him a message, you will just look desperate. Keep your dignity, learn from this experience, and find somebody else to date. Hopefully next time, you will behave better.

 

You don't think he could've just been trying to be mature about things because he was hurt?

 

Oh and I liked one of his pictures on Instagram today (just of some scenery). After you mentioned keeping my dignity, how does liking one of his pictures a few days later after this ordeal look?

Edited December 24, 2017 by LenaBean94

[ExpatInItaly]

Why did you initially break up?

[BaileyB]

You don't think he could've just been trying to be mature about things because he was hurt?

 

Oh and I liked one of his pictures on Instagram today (just of some scenery). After you mentioned keeping my dignity, how does liking one of his pictures a few days later after this ordeal look?

 

I'm sure that he was trying to be mature about things because he was hurt. That doesn't mean that he wants to get back together with you.

 

And liking one of his pictures on Instagram looks like you are monitoring his social media. If he is really done with your relationship, he probably won't give it a second thought.

 

Darling girl, you really should let this go. You have blown it, but the good news is that there are more men out there. Probably best to start fresh with someone else.

 

When you know better, you do better.

[LenaBean94]

I'm sure that he was trying to be mature about things because he was hurt. That doesn't mean that he wants to get back together with you.

 

And liking one of his pictures on Instagram looks like you are monitoring his social media. If he is really done with your relationship, he probably won't give it a second thought.

 

Darling girl, you really should let this go. You have blown it, but the good news is that there are more men out there. Probably best to start fresh with someone else.

 

When you know better, you do better.

 

Thanks. I appreciate the advice. Yea I’ve liked and looked at Snapchat (it tells you who has looked at it). He on the other hand doesn’t like or look at my things at all.

 

He did send me a merry Christmas text though. I said thanks you too, but he didn’t say anything else. Should I send a happy New Years text?

Edited December 26, 2017 by LenaBean94

[HumanMachine]

Thanks. I appreciate the advice. Yea I’ve liked and looked at Snapchat (it tells you who has looked at it). He on the other hand doesn’t like or look at my things at all.

 

He did send me a merry Christmas text though. I said thanks you too, but he didn’t say anything else. Should I send a happy New Years text?

 

No you should remove him from social media and go nc.