Jerseymikes Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Me and my ex been broken up for almost 4 months , we been trying work things out but things haven't been going smoothly, so just recently we agreed exchange gifts for Christmas she went and spent 150 on me keep in mind we aren't dating, I called her and I asked her what are we she just said we are friends nothing more i said how are we friends we are going on dates , hanging out , she said we are just freinds because we don't kiss or have sex, i tell her i want us try again and she says 'we been broken up for 4 months why do you want try again? So i tell her why , and i ask her how does she feels about what I said and she said " idk" couple hours later she asks me spend the night, I go over and she kisses me and i really could had sex with her but I decided not to on fact didnt know what to do, we hang out all nexy day we go shopping for her gifts we kiss , cuddle etc drop her home and spend time her and he family , I leave and she hugs me kisses mr and says she loves me , says come over Thursday exchange gifts , after that don't hear from her in 3 days .. I text her saying what time come Thursday she texts back and etc, we hang out Thursday with her family at restaurant we kiss that day as well and she calls me saying she love her gifts we text and tell her goodnight. She texts me next day first but it was short convo she didn't reply to my last message , 3 days later today is Christmas still haven't heard from her I texted her "merry Christmas etc" she said merry Christmas! I enjoyed your gifts:)" I texted back "Good! Hope you have a good day. Hope hear from you soon!" That was that no response. I have no idea what to do. Or how to handle this we broke up in August of this year, She broke up with me because I took her for granted and didn't treat her the best, we tried couple of times but I let my insecurities and expctaions ruin them, so lately I been going to. Church and counseling to help me with my problems. What should I do she been hot and cold alot people says she just leadin me on, other says she is jusy being avoidant and you have regain her trust. Just don't know what to do. She is 21 turn 22 in January im 23 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Me and my ex been broken up for almost 4 months , we been trying work things out but things haven't been going smoothly, so just recently we agreed exchange gifts for Christmas she went and spent 150 on me keep in mind we aren't dating, I called her and I asked her what are we she just said we are friends nothing more i said how are we friends we are going on dates , hanging out , she said we are just freinds because we don't kiss or have sex, i tell her i want us try again and she says 'we been broken up for 4 months why do you want try again? So i tell her why , and i ask her how does she feels about what I said and she said " idk" couple hours later she asks me spend the night, I go over and she kisses me and i really could had sex with her but I decided not to on fact didnt know what to do, we hang out all nexy day we go shopping for her gifts we kiss , cuddle etc drop her home and spend time her and he family , I leave and she hugs me kisses mr and says she loves me , says come over Thursday exchange gifts , after that don't hear from her in 3 days .. I text her saying what time come Thursday she texts back and etc, we hang out Thursday with her family at restaurant we kiss that day as well and she calls me saying she love her gifts we text and tell her goodnight. She texts me next day first but it was short convo she didn't reply to my last message , 3 days later today is Christmas still haven't heard from her I texted her "merry Christmas etc" she said merry Christmas! I enjoyed your gifts:)" I texted back "Good! Hope you have a good day. Hope hear from you soon!" That was that no response. I have no idea what to do. Or how to handle this we broke up in August of this year, She broke up with me because I took her for granted and didn't treat her the best, we tried couple of times but I let my insecurities and expctaions ruin them, so lately I been going to. Church and counseling to help me with my problems. What should I do she been hot and cold alot people says she just leadin me on, other says she is jusy being avoidant and you have regain her trust. Just don't know what to do. She is 21 turn 22 in January im 23 Don't do anything. You need to wait for her to get back to you. If she doesn't reply, believe me, it is better so that you can move on. I've recently learned the hard way. As long as there is this on and off communication, it wreaks havoc on your psyche. Just go about your day, be busy, celebrate with your family and friends. It's hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Back off!!!! If you chase they move away from you. Always!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Back off!!!! If you chase they move away from you. Always!!!! OP, this is what my ex did when I left her. I made every effort to get away more. She didn't give me the time I needed and wanted and I felt intruded upon and belittled. Don't let this happen to you. Back off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
browzer Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 You had the opportunity to have sex with her! You could have screwed yourself right out of the friend zone. That's what I would have done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jerseymikes Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 You had the opportunity to have sex with her! You could have screwed yourself right out of the friend zone. That's what I would have done. Im not in friend zone , trust I didn't have sex with her but did a whole lot other stuff, plus we are kissing and she spending money on me. For Christmas she spent almost 200 dollars on me and it was her idea to exchange gifts I doubt in friend zone because more friends dont do that lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jerseymikes Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 Back off!!!! If you chase they move away from you. Always!!!! So you saying dont contact her first anymore ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jerseymikes Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 Don't do anything. You need to wait for her to get back to you. If she doesn't reply, believe me, it is better so that you can move on. I've recently learned the hard way. As long as there is this on and off communication, it wreaks havoc on your psyche. Just go about your day, be busy, celebrate with your family and friends. It's hard. Okay, I see just really confusing , but i do need chill just hard i constantly lool her social media just makes no talking her harder especially when see her post but her actioms to me dont match what she is posting. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Im not in friend zone , trust I didn't have sex with her but did a whole lot other stuff, plus we are kissing and she spending money on me. For Christmas she spent almost 200 dollars on me and it was her idea to exchange gifts I doubt in friend zone because more friends dont do that lol Problem is when you asked her, she said that you are just friends and the important part is that SHE dumped YOU. That puts her in the driving seat and whilst she was prepared to spoil you and even maybe have sex with you, she then dropped off the planet not even replying to your last message. Any woman seriously wanting you back would be making more effort to keep in touch with you and make amends, I would guess. People who are loved up want to spend Christmas together, if not literally then they want to keep in close touch. She treated you like an old friend, she spent the money, called you up, gave you the gift, wished you Merry Christmas in reply to your text, then carried on with her usual life. She felt you treated her bad, she dumped you, then gave you two more chances both of which you screwed up. People tend not to forget stuff like that so whilst she may be happy being your friend, I doubt she wants you back. It is great you are sorting yourself out but I guess it is all too little too late for this girl. Just make sure you treat your next girl better, so you do not find yourself in this situation again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jerseymikes Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 Problem is when you asked her, she said that you are just friends and the important part is that SHE dumped YOU. That puts her in the driving seat and whilst she was prepared to spoil you and even maybe have sex with you, she then dropped off the planet not even replying to your last message. Any woman seriously wanting you back would be making more effort to keep in touch with you and make amends, I would guess. People who are loved up want to spend Christmas together, if not literally then they want to keep in close touch. She treated you like an old friend, she spent the money, called you up, gave you the gift, wished you Merry Christmas in reply to your text, then carried on with her usual life. She felt you treated her bad, she dumped you, then gave you two more chances both of which you screwed up. People tend not to forget stuff like that so whilst she may be happy being your friend, I doubt she wants you back. It is great you are sorting yourself out but I guess it is all too little too late for this girl. Just make sure you treat your next girl better, so you do not find yourself in this situation again. I understand what your saying , but hear me out , she is inviting me over spend time her family, we are going on dates kissing, she even says she miss and love me, but i understand a parr me feels like it's over but , thinhs she done and said dont do it to a freind , she even says herself she think we will get back together, but maybe she needs space sicnr we been broke up , we haven't had no period of no contact if i dont hear from her I text her if she doesn't hear from me she texts me , we love each other but I feel as she afraid and she told me her guard is up and I'm reason for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jerseymikes Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 Problem is when you asked her, she said that you are just friends and the important part is that SHE dumped YOU. That puts her in the driving seat and whilst she was prepared to spoil you and even maybe have sex with you, she then dropped off the planet not even replying to your last message. Any woman seriously wanting you back would be making more effort to keep in touch with you and make amends, I would guess. People who are loved up want to spend Christmas together, if not literally then they want to keep in close touch. She treated you like an old friend, she spent the money, called you up, gave you the gift, wished you Merry Christmas in reply to your text, then carried on with her usual life. She felt you treated her bad, she dumped you, then gave you two more chances both of which you screwed up. People tend not to forget stuff like that so whilst she may be happy being your friend, I doubt she wants you back. It is great you are sorting yourself out but I guess it is all too little too late for this girl. Just make sure you treat your next girl better, so you do not find yourself in this situation again. But also what should I do leave her alone ? When I try to she contacts me , when ignore her she continue to try and contact me. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 Oh for heavens sake. Put down the phone. Seriously. Stop with the blasted texting or thinking that a text -- the easiest most brainless form of contact -- means anything. Leave her alone. It's Christmas. She's with family. On Wednesday, call her using the voice feature. Ask if you can take her out for NYE. Then plan something ROMANTIC for the two of you. If she likes to dress up make sure she gets that opportunity. This is not the time to take her to the kegger with your buddies. If she says no or that she has plans that don't include you realize your hope for reconciliation just went up in flames & leave her alone. If she lets you back in her life be attentive (more then just texting). Listen to her. Be romantic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jerseymikes Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 Oh for heavens sake. Put down the phone. Seriously. Stop with the blasted texting or thinking that a text -- the easiest most brainless form of contact -- means anything. Leave her alone. It's Christmas. She's with family. On Wednesday, call her using the voice feature. Ask if you can take her out for NYE. Then plan something ROMANTIC for the two of you. If she likes to dress up make sure she gets that opportunity. This is not the time to take her to the kegger with your buddies. If she says no or that she has plans that don't include you realize your hope for reconciliation just went up in flames & leave her alone. If she lets you back in her life be attentive (more then just texting). Listen to her. Be romantic. I would do this but she is going out of town this Tuesday , and she won't be back in town until the 2nd of January . What else should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jerseymikes Posted December 25, 2017 Author Share Posted December 25, 2017 So my friend convinced me to call her and invite her somewhere for new years she said " she'll be back in town but she going to church with her sister she she knows wouldnt want go and i said i would like to go and stuff and i told her to let me know and i would love to bring in new year with her she said she will let me know and that was it, so guess i won't contact her and wait see she contacts me about it, if she doesn't i guess mean she doesn't want me be a part of her 2018 and should move on what do you guys think? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 26, 2017 Share Posted December 26, 2017 I think that you are right -- the ball is in her court about NYE. If she's not willing to let you tag along to church with her sister and if she fails to offer you an alternative date/ activity, she's not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jerseymikes Posted December 27, 2017 Author Share Posted December 27, 2017 I think that you are right -- the ball is in her court about NYE. If she's not willing to let you tag along to church with her sister and if she fails to offer you an alternative date/ activity, she's not interested. Well she told me she doesn't want to do anything new years and that is that, I tried but I will never contact her again unless she reaches out, I belive she is leaving me in 2017 I had my chance. I learned from it and when I get a new gf i will treat her better and grow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jerseymikes Posted January 23, 2018 Author Share Posted January 23, 2018 quick update basically since 28 to Jan 9 we went 2 weeks without any contact, that has been the longest we went without talking since the break up. well surprisingly my ex called me up and invited me over, I spent the night and we hung out next day we didn't kiss or do anything , we talked and she told me I should call her more , she told me she wished i was more emotional and affectionate when we was dating , when i brought up the past she seem to get really upset , she said its in the past and dont have aplogize about it anymore and leave in the past . , I have called her one time since January, we only spoken 3 times 2 times intiated by her and 1 by me. after I left we texted for a while and i ended the conversation . she did ask was i seeing anyone and she told me she isn't either , guess its a good sign still dony want get my hopes up . since been 5 months going on 6, now idk what i should do. I been doing me and letting her do bulk of the initiating, she told me she been counting the days we haven't talked and what day we stopped talking, now we texted two times i ended all conversations , but she replies almost instant and with alot energy, how should i proceed, Link to post Share on other sites
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