Need to see if this makes sense.

[Tkelly]

I’m not worried about paternity. My kids are mine, I have no doubt. They even have my features. So stop worrying about that. The wife will be served and she will need to make a choice. What is more important.? We will see.

[DKT3]

I’m not worried about paternity. My kids are mine, I have no doubt. They even have my features. So stop worrying about that. The wife will be served and she will need to make a choice. What is more important.? We will see.

 

I think you are kinda missing the point. You are dealing with a liar, you simply can't trust anything you can't put tangible proof on. Not kids (our minds can trick us there, trust me been there, I was not the father)

 

We see this alot here, someone hits on a sore subject and one jumps to transference. None of us are so upset with our situation that it leads us to offer advice to lead someone else astray. The things you are hearing are all things that are pretty common.

 

From what we can judge from your story, your wife is an unremorseful and convincing liar. As time goes on piece of mind will become hard to come by, your questions will dig deeper and deeper into the relationship. Things from the past will take a different meaning.

[Marc878]

Good luck.

 

Get strong and stay there.

 

You'll come out better no matter which way this goes.

 

Make no mistake. Cheaters lie a lot.

 

Most betrayed spouses want to believe because the truth is to hard to swallow.

 

The second time around was sexual as well.

 

They all follow basically the same script this Is very typical nothing special about it at all. But it is to you.

[S2B]

I think this decision for your future needs to be up to you- not her.

 

She can't be trusted. Are you sure you want to leave that decision to her?

[WilyWill]

If you're really going to divorce her, then none of this matters--not the paternity or the details of her sexual encounters. All of us would agree on that. And since she's a serial adulteress, the overwhelming advice you'll receive is to proceed with the divorce.

 

However, it sounds like you're still on the fence. You'll "probably" divorce her, but you might not. So we gave you some advice that seemed harsh, but was intended to help you reconcile if that's the route you chose.

 

Most of the advice in here was intended to ensure that she hit rock bottom. Rock bottom is the only place from which she'll actually start to be remorseful. Yes, the kids are yours I'd bet. But the DNA test reveals to her the depths of her depravity and consequences for her actions. Once she has to look in the mirror, she might make the decision to turn herself around, and resolve to become a good wife. Anything but rock bottom results in more limbo, which is what you've been in for a few years now.

 

Other tools towards this "rock bottom" goal are exposure (which you've already employed), exposure to the other spouse, to your wife's parents, etc. Another tool is a divorce filing. Not an empty threat of divorce--this is almost worthless--but a real legal filing that she must address.

 

Again, we understand that maybe your hidden ultimate goal will be reconciliation. So even if you don't want the divorce, you file just to show her real consequences to make her look in the mirror and at her future. The filing can be halted at any point.

Edited January 14, 2018 by WilyWill

[Rubix Cubed]

I’m not worried about paternity. My kids are mine, I have no doubt. They even have my features. So stop worrying about that. The wife will be served and she will need to make a choice. What is more important.? We will see.

 

Like WilyWill said above.

The paternity test in your case would be a reality check for your WW, to smack her into reality and see how much she has violated your trust, and how deep that goes. You do this to get her attention even if you know the twins are yours. The results may be immaterial but the action is not.

Edited January 16, 2018 by Rubix Cubed

[S2B]

Like WilyWill said above.

The paternity test in your case would be a reality check for your WW, to smack her into reality and see how much she has violated your trust, and how deep that goes. You do this to get her attention even if you know the twins are yours. The results may be immaterial but the action is not.

 

And the reaction she has may tell you more than you figure.

[Maraud3r]

I’m not worried about paternity. My kids are mine, I have no doubt. They even have my features. So stop worrying about that. The wife will be served and she will need to make a choice. What is more important.? We will see.

Oh come on. You gave her like what, four chances? This is the fifth? It's business as usual! You're going to be angry for a bit, you're going to be fuming. She'll tell you how sorry she is and it'll be right back again to where it was before.

 

You have given her so many chances, there is no way she or anyone could take this serious anymore. Even now you are talking about her having to put in work "or else". But that or else will never come, it hasn't come at any point prior. Everyone is aware you wont pull the trigger.

[drifter777]

I’m not worried about paternity. My kids are mine, I have no doubt. They even have my features. So stop worrying about that. The wife will be served and she will need to make a choice. What is more important.? We will see.

Clearly, paternity is NOT an issue for you so others should stop harping on it.

 

You have chosen the path that is best for you and I respect that. As you say, it will force her to face the reality of losing her marriage and the choice is on her to try to convince you to give her another chance. I couldn't agree more with what you are doing. Good luck.