The guys never talk to me

[SevenCity]

They are probably interested if they said anything. Having used Bumble in the past and being on the flip-side, it's incredibly daunting to be the first to reach out to a stranger romantically. Most women just aren't accustomed to it so it's like staring at a blank page trying to think of how to start a dissertation for a lot of us. Especially shy, conventional ones. Guys are more used to it, but I'm not making excuses, I know it's hard for them too. Not like you can say, "Hey. I see you like tacos too. How are you?" You have to be creative and give it a little thought like "I like the way you speak of tacos like a character out of Pendleton Ward's journal. I also like that you're an Animal Collective fan. What are your thoughts of Panda Bear's new stuff?"

 

*wipes brow*

 

I would definitely take it as high interested if a girl initiates at all. Even if it is to say "Er... oops. I didn't mean to message you...but hi"

 

It hasn’t been the case. Most convos end up dying. And that is after a thoughtful message back to the “Hi”. I’ve received thoughtful messages before and it’s hard to respond to “Hi” when they have up 2 non descriptive pics and their location.

 

Then there is the case of convos going well and they stop responding when you ask them out or don’t answer your questions (attention seekers).

 

I’ve got this one idiot who declined to give me her number but keeps reaching out with “How was your day”. Close to unmatching her.

 

I grow rather impatient and unmatch a lot when I don’t feel they are putting in any effort or just looking for attention.

 

I’ve had a few women in this time genuinely showing interest, but they all ended up being over weight. It’s gotten to the point where if I’m not sure based on pics I can usually tell if they are too friendly.

 

That’s not to say I haven’t met and dated some attractive ones, but I’m getting so sick of it I’m not trying nearly as much anymore.

 

Ps: WTF is up with the tacos? It’s seems to be proliferating in profiles like the Oxford comma, dirty martinis, the difference between there, their, and they’re, and of course....travel oh and how can I forget “Swipe left if you voted for trump, F off if you voted for trump, no trumpers, etc.

[sdraw108]

Most guys swipe right on every girl because it saves time and the women mostly decide.

 

This. When I tried Tinder, initially I took my time looking at a person's photos and profile before deciding which way to swipe. It doesn't take me long to realise what a colossal waste of time and energy that is, because the majority of people aren't going to match anyway. After that I just swiped right on all but the most obvious of cases. After around 1 minute I use up my free swipes and I'm done til the next day. If I get a match, that's when I'll take the time to examine a profile properly.

 

After a week or so of doing that, I learned that it wasn't my swiping strategy that was a waste of time, it was Tinder itself. I no longer use it

 

But anyway, that explains why you might get a match who then "mysteriously" isn't actually interested.

[staggerlee71]

They are probably interested if they said anything. Having used Bumble in the past and being on the flip-side, it's incredibly daunting to be the first to reach out. Even "hey" feels weird. Most women just aren't accustomed to it so it's like staring at a blank page trying to think of how to start a dissertation for a lot of us. Especially shy, conventional ones. Guys are more used to it, but I'm not making excuses, I know it's hard for them too. Not like you can say, "Hey. I see you like tacos too. How are you?" You have to be creative and give it a little thought like "I like the way you speak of tacos like a character out of Pendleton Ward's journal. I also like that you're an Animal Collective fan. What are your thoughts of Panda Bear's new stuff?"

 

*wipes brow*

 

I would definitely take it as high interested if a girl initiates at all. Even if it is to say "Er... oops. I didn't mean to message you...but hi"

 

This is exactly my point. Your expecting a miracle!! Its not happening in a vacuum. You find it daunting to initiate???? Really. Why the hell would any guy who is interesting want to go as far as continuing a conversation let alone date you. Its like you want a guy to come in, exude confidence and chemistry, to give the confidence to agree to a date. Insane. Men are not Shakespeare that will queue you when to agree to a date

 

Guys are not used to it. They FN hate it. but have the perseverance to trying.

Although I agree with " I would definitely take it as high interested if a girl initiates at all" it is the exact reason you are missing the opportunity to meet the right guy.

 

Franky, if one, just one women would text "Hey. I see you like tacos too. How are you?, I could atleast respond with something like my favorite place, where it is, the best places ive been that serve tacos in this country etc.

 

Last note, Tinder and Bumble are decent applications because it gets the "are you attracted to me?" out of the way. Afterall, you swiped right

[Cookiesandough]

This is exactly my point. Your expecting a miracle!! Its not happening in a vacuum. You find it daunting to initiate???? Really. Why the hell would any guy who is interesting want to go as far as continuing a conversation let alone date you. Its like you want a guy to come in, exude confidence and chemistry, to give the confidence to agree to a date. Insane. Men are not Shakespeare that will queue you when to agree to a date

 

Guys are not used to it. They FN hate it. but have the perseverance to trying.

Although I agree with " I would definitely take it as high interested if a girl initiates at all" it is the exact reason you are missing the opportunity to meet the right guy.

 

Franky, if one, just one women would text "Hey. I see you like tacos too. How are you?, I could atleast respond with something like my favorite place, where it is, the best places ive been that serve tacos in this country etc.

 

Last note, Tinder and Bumble are decent applications because it gets the "are you attracted to me?" out of the way. Afterall, you swiped right

 

 

 

All I meant was that it is more difficult for a lot of women to initiate contact because it has long been the case that men do that. I didn't say that women shouldn't try or that men should always be expected to do it. Sorry if that's how it came off

Edited December 29, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Chilli]

That's interesting what cookie's said , it would explain a few things.

 

but l haven't wasted my time with some thoughtful message bs.

l just say hello bla bla , over and out.

l've got a profile she can look at that and if she wants to reply and sound interested maybe then we talk more.

 

works fine to me.

Yaknow ,seems to be so much arrogance and entitlement on date sites , no way l;m doin monkey tricks for em,

 

Anyway , as luck has it met me a nice little lady on there a few wks back , hopefully well , never know, maybe l can delete that damn thing eh.

Edited December 29, 2017 by Chilli

[Cobra_X]

Getting more replies. All I did was ask the guys out and now they are replying, lol. Here I was wondering what was wrong with my pics and profile.

I guess guys just don't like the whole messaging back and forth on dating apps thing.

 

Hey listen. Many guys just swipe right on everything hoping for a match. They don't even look at your picture until AFTER you match up. That's why they unmatch you right away. Which is stupid because unmatching people will brick your account.

 

Now you are applying direct game. You are forcing the guys to respond whether they think you are attractive or not. By doing this you are going to up the number of dates you get. Some guys may not even like your pictures but be willing to date you anyway because you took initiative. That's great because you have a better shot at getting them to like you in person than through txt chat.

[Zippy2000]

I’ve had a few women in this time genuinely showing interest, but they all ended up being over weight. It’s gotten to the point where if I’m not sure based on pics I can usually tell if they are too friendly.

 

 

Are you saying over weight women are too friendly? LOL :D

[hercules22]

worst thing is when you have a good conversation only to realise halfway that its a catfish this girl had only one photo i didnt pay attention to the small writing in her photo at first . she didnt reply to my last message so i looked at photo and zoomed in typed the small writing into instagram to find it a stolen photo lol

 

surprisingly this catfish didn't ask for my credit card details or get me to join some external site who even knows if it is a female i didn't type another message i am still matched they even gave me a fake name when i asked what it was well it real just not the person in the photo and way to many people who have the same name as i ran a facebook search