So I'm meeting my ex boyfriend tomorow and I don't know what to expect or how to feel

[AnnonymousKitten]

I was with my ex boyfriend for 8 months but it was very full on as he lived with me for most of the relationship. Our relationship was great for the first 5/6 months and then it became... forced I guess would be the way to describe it. What happened was that we were both in the same place in life at the beginning of the relationship but for the last few months we weren't and that made things very tense between us. It wasn't that we stopped loving each other but we resented each other for changing and behaving differently which I think was due to our change in life paths.

It has been almost a year since the break up and we are still following different life paths but there has been a role reversal of sorts. We also live far apart now so it is like a complete switch in a way.

For the past few weeks we have been talking to each other and we have decided that we both want to see each other again in person. Originally, the point of talking to him was to get closure but instead of leaving it at the one call we have been talking online everyday since with regular calls.

We decided we could try and be friends but he said he still loves me and wants to get back together and now I really don't know what to do. I want to see him (and I will tomorrow) but I really don't know what to expect. We are meeting in the middle (in a place neither of us know so it's neutral) but we don't really have an actual plan other than seeing each other and talking. It has been fine talking to him through calls and messages but I know that actually seeing him could be a totally different story.

As he has actually said that he wants to get back together I expect that we will be talking about this/our past relationship/the break up and this will be very difficult to do in person. Also, what happens if we hug/hold hands/kiss or whatever? I am like 99% sure that the feelings will resurface if that happens. I guess I'm scared. Not to see him exactly but of what could happen (emotionally mainly) as we did break up for a reason (mainly not being able to deal with behavioural and life path changes) and if it does turn out that we both feel the same I don't know if I could deal with the pain of a break up again (I have avoided relationships and proper feelings since we broke up). Also, we don't even live near each other anymore... Is friendship really possible? Or is it a case of loving each other or hating each other?

I am so confused right now and whatever is going to happen will be happening in less than 24 hours

[Nilfiry]

Do not expect anything when you go. Just treat it as a night out with a friend. Yes, you can still be friends. It is easier than being lovers given the distance. Just keep your head on your shoulders and stay focused on keeping it friend level. Do not do anything that is too close as one thing tends to lead to the next. It is scientifically proven that when you allow yourself to do something the first time, you will be less hesitant to follow up and/or repeat another time.

 

Keep it friendly because you probably do not want to get back with him. You broke up for a reason, and that reason is bound to repeat itself again if you got back together. This is because people do not change so easily. Unless he has been through some profound dramatic experience or has been working hard every waking moment to change, he is almost certainly more or less still the same guy with whom you broke up.