Young Man in relationship - Temptations

[CaliMan]

I'm a 20yo male. I've been in a relationship for about two years. Before I got into a relationship, i went out with my friends a lot like people do at this age but I got sick of it and all I really wanted was a girlfriend to have some sense of fulfilment as I wasn't getting this sleeping around and/or going out with my friends.

 

Now that I have been in a relationship for two years, I have turned the other way, everytime I go out I can't stop looking at other girls and I feel as though all I want to do is go out and sleep around...

 

My question is how do other guys especially young guys cope with this temptation? Do they cheat or just do nothing? I don't want to hurt my girlfriend of two years as we have a good bond, we argue and stuff but that's like every couple but on the other hand I have all these natural urges pushing me. What should I do?

[sburtug03]

I am the same age as you and in the same position, having been with my boyfriend for three and a half years. Its very hard, but there are a few things that I think about in order to not fail our relationship, my boyfriend and myself, by cheating.

 

- Ask yourself do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person / can you spend the rest of your life with this person? If the answer is yes, you are incredibly lucky to have found someone that this is possible with, so make sure you do everything to stay in this relationship. Try new things in the bedroom and outside the bedroom together, hopefully this will bring a new dimension and connection to your relationship. If the answer is no, its time to leave.

 

- Think back to when you were single and how unfulfilling this was, write down exactly how you felt at this time. Did you have any friends who knew how you were feeling? Ask them to describe how you were back then. Write it down.

 

- Write down all the good points about being in a relationship and all the bad points.

 

- Ask yourself what you will actually achieve from sleeping around?

 

- One of the problems I have is that my boyfriend does not make me feel attractive and points out my flaws. When other men look at me, it turns me on and gives me a huge confidence boost and I like the idea of sleeping with someone who finds me attractive. Do you have underlying problems in your relationship, that you have perhaps not addressed? This may be the cause of your attraction to other women.

 

- What do you really want out of life? Don't regret anything. x

[Toni_no12002]

Can you remember how you felt when you was sleeping around?you was sick of it and wanted a relationship.you have a wonderful gf why would you want to spoil things.i bet if you dumped this girl and slept around you would think youve made a terible mistake.your gf adores you these girls you sleep with only want one thing!do you want to grow up being lonely?because if everytime you get in a relationship you dump them to sleep around youll end up being a very lonely old man.im not having a go im just saying that what you have is special,most people dont even get to have the chance to have a good relationship.if it sex you want you have that with your gf plus loads of other things,you know each other really well.i know men dont like to admit but they like cuddles as much as anyone but if you slept around who would be there to listen to you etc.

 

if is the excitement of meeting someone new why not try and do a role play with your gf.tell her to dress up etc you to and go to a bar but not together pretend you dont know each other.you can chat her up and see what happens.buy her some drinks and spice things up.it sounds to me that you like excitement in your life so why not add excitement but with your gf.she will enjoy it to.