LawyerChick Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 I recently moved out into my own apartment in the city. I love it! There is only one problem... In the city I live in all the bars close at around 3am. I work hard and don't get to go out that often so when I do I like to go hard. Much later than 3am! So usually when I am out at a bar I meet a guy, usually through friends who are also with me. The thing is, when 3am rolls around I don't want to just leave the bar and go home, it's depressing. So I end up inviting the guy back for more drinks. I do NOT do one night stands. I make this clear from the get-go. I simply want to have some more drinks, talk some more, maybe fool around, but that’s it. The problem is, whenever I do bring the guy back, despite making it clear that I'm not going to sleep with him, there is are all these expectations and I feel pressure to let him do more than he is doing (if you know what I mean). It's almost like they get dissapointed that we get back there and I am truly not sleeping with them. ARGH. Are there any guys who would simply be happy to come back for more drinks? Or will it always be expected for me to put out?? Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 I am not a male but I will still give my opinion. I think 95% of the time when a woman takes a men to her house they think it's for much more than drinks. Link to post Share on other sites
LawyerChick Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Even when I make it absolutely clear it's for drinks ONLY?? Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by LawyerChick Even when I make it absolutely clear it's for drinks ONLY?? People often say one thing and do another. Guys are probably banking on this when you tell them it's 'drinks only.' Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by LawyerChick Even when I make it absolutely clear it's for drinks ONLY?? Men always think that when you say one thing it means completely the opposite!!!! So you will say, "You can come over for drinks" he will hear "let's go get busy". If you say no they hear yes. They are odd creatures! Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawks Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 If you invite a guy home he will hear sex. It doesn't matter if you say no sex he will think he can change you mind. If you don't want this situation stop inviting them home. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 It's funny everybody is talking about what men think.. In my experience EVERY TIME a woman has asked me to come back to her place after the date for drinks or she has me over her place for dinner it has ALWAYS meant sex.. But let me tell you that it was also on their minds as well...Soem of the times they had actually planned the sex for that night. Women generally like to have sex the FIRST time at their house where they feel more comfortable. So what else is a guy to think when we hear those words ?? This has been my experience .. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 Originally posted by LawyerChick Are there any guys who would simply be happy to come back for more drinks? Yes there are. Really old guys would be fine with it. Gay guys would do it, no problem. With the rest, I'd say you're being naive. Link to post Share on other sites
Normal look Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Yes I would be hoping for sex. But could certainly take no for an answer and enjoy your company. Seems if a guy knew you better, he'd know you meant what you said. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 I mean isn't it kinda dangerous to bring home a guy you just met at a bar to your house ? He's probrobly drunk and might not use good judgement. Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with bringing someone over to your house but first spend time getting to KNOW Them ! What is he is a serial killa ? Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 First, I dunno if bringing them to your place is a good idea when you first emt them. Second, regardless of what you say most guys will think you want to hump. Most guys are idiots. Thrid, not every guy would expect sex so dont think it is ALL guys. If you brought me back to your place and told me you didnt do one nighters I wouldnt expect anything. Then again, I wouldnt do a one nighter since I think they are nasty. Link to post Share on other sites
kscholze Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 i think it means sex too. even if you say no there is always that chance. but as a male i dont do one nighters either, i have, but i grew up. no means no Link to post Share on other sites
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