FWB/love interest in town, no contact.

[duncebutsmart]

FWB/romantic is home for the holidays. We've been in touch pretty frequently for over year since she moved (we text and facetime a lot, offer each other support when going through rough patches with life, etc, yet still date other people, though we're both currently single at this moment), we'd probably be dating if it weren't for the distance between us.

 

The night before she left, she called to let me know her travel plans, which I took as a sign that she was intending/wanting to see me. She let me know she arrived at the parents, which is a bit out of town, but since then hasn't replied to my last text from maybe 5 days ago. I really want to get together with her before she leaves (she's ridiculously gorgeous and really fun to be with), as well I genuinely want to catch up with her.

 

A part of me is a little annoyed that we've remained in touch really frequently over time, and I would think it would be rude to not even text or visit with someone when we happen to be in such close proximity and intimately. To me, if she takes off without giving me a 'dear john' text/call, i'd have to end our relationship/friendship there. I understand she probably been doing the family thing, but to go to radio silence for this amount of time seems rude.

 

But of course I don't want that, so i'm currently trying to play my cards right. What should I do? She's out in about a week. Should I break no contact? Should I call or text and ask if shes planning on seeing me at all? Should I send another 'nudge' text?

[bummer]

Text her, "Hey, we should go to bar/coffee place x by your house and catch up. Are you free this week at all?"

 

Seems harmless enough.

[justwhoiam]

we'd probably be dating if it weren't for the distance between us.

Maybe I'm wrong, but FWB implies using each other with no intent of ever being together, while your words above convey something else.

 

The night before she left, she called to let me know her travel plans, which I took as a sign that she was intending/wanting to see me.

It was just fair to let you know she was in town, as you are friends, right? Also, you might have bumped into her, and it would have been awkward... But when she told you, you didn't say anything, so she went on with her plans.

 

She let me know she arrived at the parents, which is a bit out of town, but since then hasn't replied to my last text from maybe 5 days ago.

What did the text say?

 

I really want to get together with her before she leaves

Maybe she doesn't feel the same. Maybe she's avoiding sex with you, and knows you might want that.

 

I would think it would be rude to not even text or visit with someone when we happen to be in such close proximity and intimately.

You need to come to terms with the fact that there's no commitment about anything from both sides. I don't know how you happened to be in that arrangement, if you sort of asked for it, or it just happened or what. She ows you nothing. You're not her boyfriend. In a FWB arrangement is not just sex being casual, but often also the friendship itself. In my view, real friendship doesn't mix up with occasional sex. So you lost that already.

 

To me, if she takes off without giving me a 'dear john' text/call, i'd have to end our relationship/friendship there.

She will likely text you before leaving. But does that change anything? She just let you know about her whereabouts, and that's it. No real looking forward to see you.

 

radio silence for this amount of time seems rude.

Not rude, maybe a bit inconsiderate. But she probably has no idea you're so needy. A FWB deal is all about the sudden crave that you can feel... if one or the other doesn't have it, nothing happens.

 

i'm currently trying to play my cards right.

How, if you don't mind me asking? You played your cards entering the FWB deal, you're the guy on the side.

 

What should I do?

What's the goal? Just hook up with her when she's in town? It might be that you've missed that chance either temporarily, long-term or forever.

 

She's out in about a week. Should I break no contact? Should I call or text and ask if shes planning on seeing me at all? Should I send another 'nudge' text?

So how did it go in the end?