Lately greaty missing an old date

[AnotherGo]

About 3 years ago I dated a woman for a while and frankly really enjoyed my our time together; we meshed together well and shared many hobbies at the get-go. The only true holdup for me was she was a Chinese national (I am American) and pretty much only here for grad school; maybe get a job after but from the start she made it clear only pressure from her parents made her job search here while in school since they felt she had better opportunity in the USA but she personally had always wanted to go back home. Regardless, this was big enough for me to call off dating after about 6 months though we remained good friends and still hung out pretty constantly. She remained in the states about another year after graduating but returned to her country after getting a job here but really disliking it and missing home.

 

We still chat all the time, at least once a week since she left despite the timezone difference sharing life progress and accomplishments and we are both advancing pretty well in our professional lives. Now I don't really know why I find myself yearning for our time together but the crazy thing is we actively plan stuff together still. We are both currently learning Japanese and plan to meet up there eventually.

 

Sorry this went on a lot longer than I thought it would. I mean, there was always a part of me what was kinda 'what-if?' but lately I find myself missing her a lot more. I had GFs before of 4 and 2 years respectively (pretty long relationships considering I'm only in my late 20s) and while depressed when it had to end, eventually got over it. This is pretty much the 1st where I find myself missing her more despite her never even officially being a GF. I'm not really sure how to proceed here. Professionally we assist each other bouncing ideas off the other and personally we still discuss life and she helps me with my Chinese/Japanese so it really doesn't make sense to just cut her off. Just lost and how to proceed here.

[fiskadoro]

She was already here and had a job, and the support of her parents to stay overseas (not very common in China) yet she still left to go back? That is a woman who really, really doesn't want to be here. Why not go to see her in China, or meet up with her in Japan? That would really impress her, rather than being another guy on the internet making sweet, empty promises.

 

I lived in China for a few years, and had a somewhat similar experience. My ex, the "one that got away" was still in China, however. We tried to rekindle that old magic earlier this year (she came to stay with me for about a month) but it didn't go very well at times. Your difficulty will be that you guys never really "dated" so you don't know what to expect in an actual day to day relationship with her. Once the fun of the languages, the food, the exoticness, etc wears off, there are a ton of things to consider and deal with. Tread carefully.