How can I convince my girlfriend's dad that I genuinely love her?

[faithfulman35]

I met my girlfriend Carolina through A Peru Women online. She’s a Peruvian woman and very close to her parents.

 

Her dad is especially protective and that is understandable. They have met me once. Our relationship is mostly online.

 

I really like her. It’s more right to say that I love her. I’m serious about her.

 

I don’t want to cause Carolina heartache because of her dad not approving of our relationship.

 

I’ve decided to prove to him that I’m genuinely serious and in love with his precious daughter… but how do I do it?

 

My friend told me to just propose to her. Despite knowing that we love each other and knowing that I plan to marry her eventually.

 

I just think we are not completely ready for it.

 

I want to be financially stable first and she has a career she wants to grow in too.

 

I think that just proposing will even make her dad not like me more.

 

Especially when, despite being able to live on my own, I can’t provide for more than myself at the moment.

 

I plan to visit her and her family again and spend Christmas and New Year with them.

 

But I’m running in corner to corner on thinking how I can make her family be at ease about me…

 

or make her dad understand that I won’t do anything to hurt or betray their daughter.

 

What should I do?

[amaysngrace]

Move to be near her and her family if she means that much.

 

Anything less than that and he won't believe you.

[Aiuta le mani]

Hello friend!

Thanks for sharing here! Since you ask for advice, let me jump right in! I see that you say that you say that you love your GF and that you want to prove her Dad that you love her but you are not ready to commit to a serious relationship and you not financially stable, so my question to you is: what do you need to prove? Do you want her to move in with you? If I was her Dad, I would not be sure about you either. I would not let my daughter move in with someone that is not ready to give her a committed relationship. If you want to prove her family that you love her, visit them, establish a relationship with them, and work with your GF to plan for a serious long-term relationship.

[SammySammy]

As a father, a man would prove he loves my daughter by consistently treating her well over the long term.

 

However, as a man, I’m not sure I’m trying to prove anything to another man. Even her father. I’m just going about the business of having the best relationship I can with his daughter. If I’m going to prove anything, it’s to her.

 

The father is justifiably skeptical about this situation. The likelihood of this being true love is far-fetched. I suspect it’s going to take a long time for him to believe otherwise.

[preraph]

One way is to go slow and stop trying to hurry this. As you said, you're not ready anyway. Just go slow and steady and he will trust you more. Slow down.

[mikeylo]

Well, of course he wants to know that you can provide for her financially and give her a commitment but at the moment you can give neither of the two . So I guess all you can do is gain trust , love her , be nice to her.

 

If you want to marry her and are waiting for the right time, just know that the time will never be right ! You have to adjust circumstances to make it happen. Hope it makes sense!

[Mr.Me]

You can't make someone do anything.

All you can do be sweet on her and he may eventually come around. It's possible he may not. You're also not in the relationship with her dad. Sounds like your interested in forming one with the dad, but it's going to be his choice to reciprocate or not.

[browzer]

Stop trying so hard to please her father and win him over.

 

Marrying her is definitely not the way to go about this.

 

Perhaps when you stop trying so hard to garner his approval it will just happen.

[elaine567]

Ok financially you are not a great "catch", what else does her father not like about you?

[DC77]

Time. Focus on her and your love for her. The father probably thinks you're both rushing in. Put in the work and effort to build a relationship that shows him you two are meant for each other. There is no instant gratification or instant solution. And if and when it becomes time you want to ask her to marry you, I'll bet he is a traditional man. You will need to ask his permission for his daughters hand. Do it behind his back and you may set yourself up for a rough relationship with him.

[basil67]

How old are the two of you?

[gaius]

I can't see any father, much less a most likely Catholic one, being terribly thrilled with a guy who just flies in once in a blue moon. Especially if you're sleeping together or going off alone for extended periods of time.

 

If this is the woman you truly love and want to be with then propose and figure out a way to actually be together. If you're both going to prioritize other things with her in Peru and you somewhere else it's just gonna end up being a big waste of your time.

[Chilli]

He's not stupid, don't forget he's been around and seen more and all this stuff, probably at least double than you've been alive.

It's gonna take time because he's well aware of how this stuff turns south,

 

You won't prove yourself to him with some light bs or just talk that any half wit can do, his not the internet, that means shyt to him..

 

So l say just cut the crap, look after her , be patient , it could take years and def' marriage,

But yeah l agree moving close would also say a lot in the meantime, dunno if you can swing that.

[basil67]

To give my blessing as a parent, I'd have to see that the two of you were spending enough time together face to face in order to be confident that you really knew each other.

[d0nnivain]

You take the time to get to know & her family. You treat her well. You speak to the father like a man & heed his concerns.

 

You also need to understand that any father is going to be very suspicious of any man his daughter met on line. A traditional parent is going to be doubly wary of a relationship that develops virtually rather than conventionally.