finalf72 Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 hey my mom is crazy. i just entered college, and got over loosing that girl i loved, and just got over losin her. anyway, thats a little backround info. anyway, one day i was gonna go work out, and my mom is just like "no, ur gonna study everyday, all day, and never go out except satudray" so i say "ummm, thats stupid, im not gonna study allll the time, and i made my own schedule, thank you. i think im gonna go work out like i planned to." then shes all like "no, you do what i say" im like "ummmm, and study everyday all day and have no fun at all? ever?" shes like "yeSSS!!! stupid.." im like "what the hell mom, thats crap! i made my own schedule, i have to make my own decisions now, i made my own schedule already! i have to learn how to do things on my own you know.... thats part of college" she says "i dont care, shut up!" then she says "you have a choice, either follow my schedule for you, or move out." we kept arguing for 5 minutes, and she thought it was important enough to stop the car in the middle of an intersection, and put it in park to yell at me some more tryin to make me follow some bogus schedule. after about 10 minutes of listening to her call me names and repeating herself over and over, i just flipped out and said "**** YOU BITCH!" and threw my cell phone at her and just left. later my dad found me and took me home. now u prolly think "wow, finalf, u have no patients" well, loveshack readers, my mom yells and makes fun of me and tells me nothing but bad things alll the time ever since i was a kid, and doesnt allow me to make choices, and makes me more depressed than i am, doesnt listen to me, and doesnt let me do anything i want. i mean, i cant just sit and relax in front of her without her yelling "what are you doing!!! you shuold be cleaning the dishes!" id then say "u never said do them" cuz she didnt. then shed be like "YES I DID! ". ..... its ****ing bull****, and ive been dealing with it for my whole life, and just got tired of being treated like property, so thats why i threw the phone at her. now i dont know what to do... wtf! i just wana hang myself... Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 maybe she is just acting out because You are in college, You are becoming a grown up, and sooner than ever You will be moved out, and she will surely have no say in what you do. my mother is this way too. if you can, come to compromise. it is true, you do live under her roof, which to most parents means her rules too. Do your chores with out being asked, help out around the house with out being nagged.....so if she does nag you, you can accept it is all her, not because of your lack of action. maybe she sees how seemingly careless you are acting about responsibilities since you are in school, which is how my sister acts....once school starts, even though she has only a few classes a day, she acts as if nothing else is of any concern....... and maybe if she kept even a B average she could get away with some of her laziness, but NOT likely, since my parents, and i all work 8 hours a day, and still get out crap dome in a timely manner. show some initiative, do things with out being asked, be responsible, act like the adult that you want to soon become. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finalf72 Posted August 23, 2005 Author Share Posted August 23, 2005 actually im not movin out, im stuck at a comunity colege Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by finalf72 actually im not movin out, im stuck at a comunity colege what i meant was, if you want to be treated as an adult, act like one, and not a crazed one a responsible one. and trust me, i know the pitfalls of going to a CC, one major one is you do not to have that "university-campus-life-with-out-your-folks-college-experience" It is more like Senior HS, only you are older, kinda-wiser, a little more mature, and you want freedom. trust me, i know. but the only cure-all is to actually move out. and if that is not an option, as in your case, then you are going to, with in reason, live by your parents..aka mother's rules. and usually is you appease the parents in the beginning and then in spurts, you have more freedom, get along better, and are generally happier. Not a Sermon....Just a Thought! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Thats the downside to living at home when you're an adult... Parents will still want to "Parent" You and/or "Police" You in whats okay, what isn't and the reason why is "Because I said" With that said... I know you're living at home and going to school... and I understand why you are doing so as I'm sure finances are tough... BUT when you do live in someone else's home (especially your parents) then yes there are rules that they will expect be followed as long as you live there. So as LaRu has pointed out, you could take adult initiative and do the dishes WITHOUT being asked and other things around the house such as cooking, laundry etc that need to be done BEFORE one or both of your parents get on you about doing this... Keeping outstanding grades is school will also help in showing your Mom that you are committed to school and doing well... The next time your Mom throws a flip out fit instead of raising to the bait try saying to her "You know Mom, I understand that you want me to do well in school and that is what I want as well, I'm doing really great in my studies, and I appreciate your support of me on that." then explain to her that you also have other things going on in your life just like EVERYONE else... that you need to get excersize to be healthy and you have other obligations to other people as well... IF all else fails... think about things... can you afford to move out? Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 or you can pay some "rent"...and maybe Not have to do the dishes in exchange as well as pay for a few other liberties. i am 25, i live at home, again. i buy groceries, help clean, cook, pay some money when i can, and i still work over 60 hours a week, pay my own bills, buy my own clothes, buy all my own things, because i am an adult and i appriciate my parents allowing me to live there, basically rent-free and with cable and utilities. then there is my little sister, she is 19, in CC, works under 20-40 hours a week during the school year. This girl is sooo ungreatful. she is still a kid mentally, yet she thinks she is going on 27. she expects dinner to be made, expects her clothes to be washed, expects me to drop what ever i am doing to assist her. her mentality has slowed way down....i am hoping she soon gets out of the house and falls on her butt into the real world......not too hard, but enough to make her realize how good she had it at home. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita or you can pay some "rent"...and maybe Not have to do the dishes in exchange as well as pay for a few other liberties. Also a good idea Link to post Share on other sites
suegail Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 Your mom wants you to do well. She wants you to succeed. She wants you to buckle down, study, get the grades and be on the road to one day being independent, so that she doesn't have to support you until you're an antique. Now is the time...do your best. Try and respect her rules and prove to her that you are trying and I think in time she'll ease up a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
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