inadventantly hurt husband's feelings

[d0nnivain]

I am ALWAYS cold (physically not emotionally).

 

Being the thoughtful wonderful person he is, DH thought he found me the perfect Christmas present. He was disappointed that it was on back order. So it was here tonight when we got home from a short New Year's trip.

 

I carried it into the house while he got the suitcases.

 

On the box was a warning: CAUTION: lithium batteries, may ignite.

 

My husband was as giddy as a school boy & anxious for me to open my gift. I was worried based on the warning label.

 

So I open it up & it's a battery operated 2 zone heated jacket. I was actually scared to put the thing on. Fortunately (from my perspective), it was too small. DH was excited to send it back & get me the bigger size. He was gushing & apologizing that I wasn't going to have it this week as temperatures plunge to negative numbers. I must have blanched because he asked if I would prefer that he simply return it. I said that I honestly would prefer that he just send it back because I was scared of the technology.

 

Now my husband seems sad & disappointed. I explained how thoughtful the gift was & how much I appreciated everything he put in to getting it. I even offered to try & said that he should exchange it for the right size but he said no.

 

I just feel so terrible because he was so excited.

 

Now what?

[MidwestUSA]

I think that's a warning for handling during shipping, not wearing. There have been incidents of lithium batteries causing trouble on airplanes.

 

 

Read up on the technology, and explain to him that you misunderstood. Then have him get the right size!

[d0nnivain]

It's not just airplanes. The batteries were banned from airplanes after they spontaneously caught fire. I fully understood. I do NOT trust the technology & would be paranoid / unhappy / uncomfortable to wear the jacket.

 

My safety trumps hurt feelings BUT I really don't want him to feel bad. Granted that want is secondary to my desire not to go up in flames.

[staggerlee71]

this is a quandary. BUT, this is not about the gift. This is about rejection. He feels rejected.

 

So, how does a women make their man feel like they are THE MAN.

 

His ego is hurt. if you want to fix this, you have to reach into your absolute femininity, show him that women, and make him feel like a man.

 

ONLY you know how to that for him.

 

Show him love!

[MidwestUSA]

It's not just airplanes. The batteries were banned from airplanes after they spontaneously caught fire. I fully understood. I do NOT trust the technology & would be paranoid / unhappy / uncomfortable to wear the jacket.

 

My safety trumps hurt feelings BUT I really don't want him to feel bad. Granted that want is secondary to my desire not to go up in flames.

 

 

I know there have been improvements in technology. Think of everyone who carries a cell phone or an eCig. But you may not be able to track the exact manufacturer of the batteries in the jacket.

 

http://batteryuniversity.com/learn/archive/lithium_ion_safety_concerns

 

Not trying to change your mind. Surely he knows you well enough to respect your concern?

[RecentChange]

Oh gosh. My husband used to work in this industry and acquired all of the certifications needed to be a lithium shipper (for much larger applications, like full sized prototype vehicles).

 

Your fears are completely unfounded. The warning lable is a government retirement for shipping yes.... Notice not about wearing but for shipping.

 

It's run of the mill government mandated warning signs.

 

I am in California, every parking garage has a warning sign that there may be diesel exhaust in the area. Only it doesn't say that, it says:

 

"THIS AREA CONTAINS CHEMICAL KNOWN BY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE CANCER"

 

Now, if you didn't know the story behind the sign, it would scare your pants off. Meanwhile I just shrug, it's over reaching nonsense.

 

Do you carry a cell phone? If so, you carry a lithium battery with you. Do you wear a wrist watch? Unless it's wind up or kinetic you have a lithium battery on you.

 

Just about any small electric now days, including hearing aids etc.

[RecentChange]

The batteries as a whole were not banned from airplanes. It was ONE cell phone brand that was banned from commercial air travel due to their faulty batteries.

 

Laptops, cell phones.... All of that still in flight.

 

And lithium batteries are still shipped commercially by plane - with a special lable yes.

 

Perhaps call the manufacturer so that they can explain the product to you.

[S2B]

It's not just airplanes. The batteries were banned from airplanes after they spontaneously caught fire. I fully understood. I do NOT trust the technology & would be paranoid / unhappy / uncomfortable to wear the jacket.

 

My safety trumps hurt feelings BUT I really don't want him to feel bad. Granted that want is secondary to my desire not to go up in flames.

 

I agree.

 

Maybe suggest something luxurious instead - you can't go wrong with cashmere!

[SammySammy]

I don’t think you women understand how difficult it is to find something you might like. Especially if he’s one of those that hates to shop. And ... we have to do it consistently throughout the year (birthday, Valentine’s Day, anniversary, Christmas, and don’t let me forget Mother’s Day).

 

That’s a lot of pressure. ?

 

Poor guy thought he had hit a home run. It was just a foul ball. He just has to try again. Maybe he’ll get a hit next time.

 

It’s the thought that counts anyway. Right, ladies?

[Trail Blazer]

Oh gosh. My husband used to work in this industry and acquired all of the certifications needed to be a lithium shipper (for much larger applications, like full sized prototype vehicles).

 

Your fears are completely unfounded. The warning lable is a government retirement for shipping yes.... Notice not about wearing but for shipping.

 

It's run of the mill government mandated warning signs.

 

I am in California, every parking garage has a warning sign that there may be diesel exhaust in the area. Only it doesn't say that, it says:

 

"THIS AREA CONTAINS CHEMICAL KNOWN BY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE CANCER"

 

Now, if you didn't know the story behind the sign, it would scare your pants off. Meanwhile I just shrug, it's over reaching nonsense.

 

Do you carry a cell phone? If so, you carry a lithium battery with you. Do you wear a wrist watch? Unless it's wind up or kinetic you have a lithium battery on you.

 

Just about any small electric now days, including hearing aids etc.

Exactly.

 

Hearing aids, or pretty much any passanger vehicle built in the last 15-20 years has either a proximity key (keyless entry) or a remote, all of which use small lithium batteries.

 

The cell phone in question was one model from one brand. Samsung admitted a range of faults including from memory, using batteries that were too big for the case (so a design fault of the phone) in combination with a manufacturing issue of the battery by one of its suppliers.

 

The actual technology is almost fool proof. It's tried and tested the world over. If there were any concerns with the technology, the Australian Government wouldn't have allowed Elon Musk to build a massive battery farm in the middle of the outback.

 

The key here is education. Sure, an isolated incident like Samsung had where a perfect storm culminated in a fire will make people worried. But it doesn't reflect the technology itself, it's a reflection on poor design and application of said technology.

 

It's like saying that you'd never get behind the wheel of another vehicle again, so long as it has tyres fitted to it, because 20 years ago Ford and Firestone experienced common incidences on their Explorers fitted with Firestone tyres.

 

Root cause analysys found both parties at fault, with poor manufactuering processes Firestones fault which resulted in tyres exploding, while Ford's poor design of that model Explorer resulted in the vehicle having the propensity to roll over far too easily. When the tyre blew, the vehicle was likely to roll, which resulted in many deaths.

 

However, people still drive cars with tyres just like they still use electrical devices with lithium ion batteries. The technology is safe, the design and application is subject to a small risk that it wasn't manufactured correctly. But, if we go through life worrying about risk, when risk pervades our every day life anyway, you're risking the development of neurosis.

[S2B]

I don’t think you women understand how difficult it is to find something you might like. Especially if he’s one of those that hates to shop. And ... we have to do it consistently throughout the year (birthday, Valentine’s Day, anniversary, Christmas, and don’t let me forget Mother’s Day).

 

That’s a lot of pressure. ?

 

Poor guy thought he had hit a home run. It was just a foul ball. He just has to try again. Maybe he’ll get a hit next time.

 

It’s the thought that counts anyway. Right, ladies?

 

No, it's not the thought. It's the thought and the gift.

 

I use a cashmere robe that is the best thing on the face of this earth!

 

It's expensive and it is awesome!!!! Try it!

[road]

People here have shown that lithium batteries can

be safe except for certain phones and skateboard

things.

 

I will not give up my phone though my be careful

and risk avoidance I don't need no stinkin' lithium

battery coat.

 

Tell your husband it is your fear that prevents you

from enjoying such a gift. Besides if you get home

warm you won't need him to warm you up. Ask him

if he wants to lose that job to a coat.

[Cullenbohannon]

Ok. The visual.

 

Him. Open the present honey!!!!

Don. Oh a coat, I love it!!

Him. Try it on!!!

Him. Push this button.

 

Crack Pop Sizzle!!

 

Him. FIRE!!!!

 

:laugh:

 

Sorry.

[Els]

But... lithium ion batteries are used in EVERYTHING. Do you not use a laptop or a cell phone or a watch or a calculator or....???

 

That being said, I think that if you have your mind made up about this, it's not a big deal either way. It's possible that he may be less inclined to try "creative" gifts in the future, but I really doubt he'll even be thinking about it in a couple days from now. He's disappointed - it's normal and it happens, but I'm sure he'll get over it.

[Art_Critic]

Not to say the I side with Donni all the way on this as I would wear the jacket but this Christmas we bought our Son an electric scooter with a Lithium battery...

 

I plugged it in and it sparked really hugely and got hot to the touch when charged... not just warm but hot.

The scooter went down the street .2 of a mile and quit...

 

When I got a refund it was because the newer reviews on Amazon spoke of the same huge sparking issue and how the battery got close to getting too hot... so they are going to burn down a house with that brand...

 

Just an FYI on something that happened this past holiday...

[carhill]

Oh, my .....

[BettyDraper]

This thread isn't really about the gift. It's the OP's reaction to it.

 

OP, send your husband a card. Write a message inside about how thankful you are to have a generous husband and apologize for hurting his feelings. When he gets the card, passionately kiss him and take him to bed for make up sex.

[Poutrew]

You really have nothing to worry about. Lithium batteries only go unstable when they are whacked so hard that it causes an internal short circuit. If you were to clean the jacket by beating it against a rock, or if you were wearing it and you fell of a rocky cliff, then you might have something to worry about - but especially the cliff scenario, it wouldn't make a bit of difference anyway If you were wearing the jacket and it were to happen, you would be smelling the acrid chemical smell from the battery long before you saw flames, and you would have plenty of time to take it off. We are not talking about spontaneous human combustion here! The only other scenario would be if someone were to shoot you and the bullet went through the battery before it went through you , then yeah, I could see you becoming a crispy critter, but again, it wouldn't really matter as you'd already be dead! So, wear hubby's gift without fear - unless you are an ex-Mafioso with a price on your head and had been planning to take a rock climbing vacation

[d0nnivain]

It is the thought that counts. The thought process behind this was Brilliant & I told him as much.

 

 

Even if my fear is unreasonable, it's not really something I can just get past. Even if there is only a small chance of a problem, it's not a chance I am willing to take.

 

 

This stupid coat is about $400 which is a lot of money to waste on something I won't wear. If I wasn't afraid of it, I'd wear it even though I hate the style (too casual) & the color. I already have luxury coats & I wear them. I hate to see him waste money but again because it was from him I'd find reasons to wear it. With temps in the negative numbers I kind of wish I wasn't so terrified.

 

 

In an effort to make him feel better I have been sexting him all day & plan to make his favorite dinner. We'll see what he wants for dessert.

[Trail Blazer]

It is the thought that counts. The thought process behind this was Brilliant & I told him as much.

 

 

Even if my fear is unreasonable, it's not really something I can just get past. Even if there is only a small chance of a problem, it's not a chance I am willing to take.

 

 

This stupid coat is about $400 which is a lot of money to waste on something I won't wear. If I wasn't afraid of it, I'd wear it even though I hate the style (too casual) & the color. I already have luxury coats & I wear them. I hate to see him waste money but again because it was from him I'd find reasons to wear it. With temps in the negative numbers I kind of wish I wasn't so terrified.

 

 

In an effort to make him feel better I have been sexting him all day & plan to make his favorite dinner. We'll see what he wants for dessert.

Sorry, but your thought processes are completely illogical. I understand enough about human psychology to know that this happens to people a lot. Somewhere along the lines you've been exposed to something, usually unfounded information or something which is old and now not applicable, which has conditioned you to think a certain way. As a result, you now have mental barriers over certain things.

 

I guess nobody can make you change the way you think. Nobody can or should guilt trip you into doing something that you're uncomfortable doing. But you've got to accept that people will raise eyebrows upon reading/hearing this story as it is completely unfounded. This is your issue and not the issue of the technology.

 

So you like Dalmations? I could mount a case to suggest that you are far more likely to be bitten/mauled by your dalmation than you are to burn up like a naturist sunbathing in Death Valley from your heated jacket malfunctioning. I could cite anecdotal and many factual cases where, through no fault of thw owner, Dalmations have demonstrated a lot of agression.

 

However, you would come back to me with evidence that shows only poorly bred dogs demonstrate these characteristics and that pups from a reputable breeder and with a pedigree to show, have no problems at all. You'd then list all the wonderful characteristics of the breed and assure me that they're safe. If I still disagreed you'd accept that I was within my rights to feel that way, but that any stigma surrounding that breed was illogical, ignorant and unfounded.

[TrustedthenBusted]

He'll get over it.

 

Shoot, my wife has returned practically every gift I've ever given her and exchanged it for something she liked better. I DID learn long ago to stop giving her technology related gifts, not matter how excited I might be by them though.

 

Just thie christmas I bought her a new suitcase that I thought was bomb-proof and awesome. She took one look at it and said thanks, but it's a little too "rugged" and she started shopping online for a different one. No biggy. She ordered one she liked, and I kept the one I bought.

[Popsicle]

I don’t think you women understand how difficult it is to find something you might like. Especially if he’s one of those that hates to shop. And ... we have to do it consistently throughout the year (birthday, Valentine’s Day, anniversary, Christmas, and don’t let me forget Mother’s Day).

 

That’s a lot of pressure. ?

 

Poor guy thought he had hit a home run. It was just a foul ball. He just has to try again. Maybe he’ll get a hit next time.

 

It’s the thought that counts anyway. Right, ladies?

This.

 

If you try to understand it from his POV then it might help.

 

It's a tough situation though. I've been on both sides.

[Trail Blazer]

This.

 

If you try to understand it from his POV then it might help.

 

It's a tough situation though. I've been on both sides.

 

You've been a man and a woman?