Do white men find black women sexually attractive?

[alphamale]

Originally posted by KANSAN

I see people on here saying that they would date a black woman if the circumstances were different, like if she was'nt black.

or is she was a black woman who looked like a white woman we have a mixed race chick at work....wooo hooo! Man, is she hot to trot.

[sunstorm]

This "black women have attitude" thing gained the most momentum when black men started saying it. Black men say it because black women, whether they realize it or not, have lots of attitude when it comes to black men. I'm a black man, and I lost interest in black women in my youth because the attitude thing. In the '90s in particular, it got pretty hateful -- you could barely look in a black woman's direction without receiving an abundance of attitude. It takes the wind out of your sails.

 

That's slowly changing however.

 

But anyway, white guys may say black women have attitude, but frankly they don't have to worry about that much because black women are different with white men than they are with black men.

 

The interesting part is that white men, when they do date black women, like to try to antagonize black men with it. Like the guy with the black girlfriend who went to the auto repair shop with "white power" scrawled up & down his arms. I've had to show patience with white guys like this (mostly short men by the way, overcompensating...) I think they believe that you won't react because it will seem racist if you do... It's really comical.

 

Black women, you should try to control these guys rather than being entertained by that stuff. After all, after he's done with you, he's headed right back to white women or any of the myriad of asians and such that will prize him because he's white.

 

In the meanwhile, his antics are creating enmity between black men and black women.

 

It may feel good at the time -- sweet vengeance on us "white women loving black men" -- but ultimately it harms the black community. Whoever we date, we should conduct ourselves with class and self-respect, or we're just shooting ourselves in the foot.

 

Of course, this will go in one ear & out the other, because many people who "date out" tend to have some sort of grudge against the opposite sex of their own "race". You should read some of the things that white guys who are into asian women say about white women, as well as some of the things black men who are into ww say, and the things asian women who are into wm say, and of course, the things bw who are into wm say. I'm starting to think that most people "date out" for negative reasons rather than positive.

 

However, I've only seen the "arrogant antics" from white guys, trying to antagonize black men (or asian men).

 

For my part, I tend to like white women because for most of my life, they're the only women I could feel attracted to without feeling stupid for it. Ironically, more of them returned my friendliness with friendliness than any other kind of women, including black. My attraction to them thus congealed to a point where I made overtures to ww exclusively, and I now find myself in a very comfortable relationship with a ww.

 

But back to my point: All in all, we have to conduct ourselves with class, no matter what we do. It may feel good to "spite" people, but ultimately all we'll end up with is a "fire sale", being had for cheap, and leaving our own like rats off a sinking ship.

 

Date whoever you want. But do it with open eyes -- don't be used by racists, and conduct yourself with class.

[MLP]

It's a matter of preference. I don't find black women attractive or sexy. Don't know why.

[LexiB]

Yeah just preferences. Several of my friends--black and hispanic--would not even CONSIDER dating a white guy. They find their..."oh so delicate" features, and even the way they speak to be huge turn-offs.

 

This isn't my opinion but, it depends on who you ask.

 

A female co-worker of mine (from El Salvador) looked at this thread title,

 

"Do white men find black women sexually attractive?"

 

and said,

 

"Better question: why in the hell would anyone WANT to have sex with a white boy??"

 

Doesn't make it any better but yeah...the situation can go several ways

[robyn aka shortie]

im a 14 year old white gurl...

im suprised that ur uncle is into white woman and u r into white men..

i am not racist but in england where i live, alot if ALL of the black men steretype white woman and use them...

and yes i have heard that black woman have attitutes...so maybe white men don't want to approach u..

but i agree with the 1st person who posted in...it is everybody for themselves..

if u like black white asian latino ...whatever..

u no mostpeople like who they like. and dont limit themselves to one race because its just stupid and sad...

u just have to find the guy u like and if they dont like u bcos ur black...

let them be steretyped and narrow minded..

Thats the way i see it.

[gigilani]

I am a black female. We don't carry "attitudes", we just don't let people walk over us. We are confident, stand our ground, will defend ourselves & others and will make sure a wrong is righted and we're not afraid to speak up and say that a situtation or a person is wrong. This is because of our history in this country, from slavery to present, our female ancestors had to sometimes be both mother and father and the sole breadwinner. This left no time to be wimpy or weakness. This boldness that was developed has passed down to generation-generation. In the same token we are very loyal and as woogle said, we will have your back through thick & thin, but, if you're wrong, we'll tell you you're wrong as well. These are the traits that some black men have problems with. Black women will literally fight right beside their men. one example, we had ordered pizza at my job one afternoon and when it was more than 30 minutes late, I asked the girl who had placed the order if she had checked on it. She told me no. Now, I was the only black in my department. Another 10 minutes goes by and by this time everyone is complaining about the pizza being late. I again ask her if she checked on it and she said no. So, I took the initiave to call the pizza place & inquired about the eta for the pizza, then asked to speak to the manager and told him that a delivery order that was more than 30 mnutes late was unacceptable and wanted to know what he was going to do to rectify the situation. We ended up getting a $25 pizza order for $8 bucks. The girls were amazed, but, the next time a similiar situation happened, they came to me and asked if I would call. I refused and told them to get some backbone and take care of it themselves, since it didn't affect me. I was in the insurance biz and dealt directly w/brokers and I can't tell you how many times they tried to intimidate me and I always stood my ground. If you're polite & mannerable, then you get the same in return, if you're rude & nasty, then I & most black females won't tolerate it. This is when the "attitude" comes out. As I like to say, "they made me go there". This doesn't mean you were cussed out, but, that you made me figuretively or literrally get in your face and square off with you.

 

I have a preference for white guys as well. However, I find that in Europe, White men and Asian men are more apt to approach me then their American counterparts.

[gigilani]

I am a black female. We don't carry "attitudes", we just don't let people walk over us. We are confident, stand our ground, will defend ourselves & others and will make sure a wrong is righted and we're not afraid to speak up and say that a situtation or a person is wrong. This is because of our history in this country, from slavery to present, our female ancestors had to sometimes be both mother and father and the sole breadwinner. This left no time to be wimpy or weakness. This boldness that was developed has passed down to generation-generation. In the same token we are very loyal and as woogle said, we will have your back through thick & thin, but, if you're wrong, we'll tell you you're wrong as well. These are the traits that some black men have problems with. Black women will literally fight right beside their men. one example, we had ordered pizza at my job one afternoon and when it was more than 30 minutes late, I asked the girl who had placed the order if she had checked on it. She told me no. Now, I was the only black in my department. Another 10 minutes goes by and by this time everyone is complaining about the pizza being late. I again ask her if she checked on it and she said no. So, I took the initiave to call the pizza place & inquired about the eta for the pizza, then asked to speak to the manager and told him that a delivery order that was more than 30 mnutes late was unacceptable and wanted to know what he was going to do to rectify the situation. We ended up getting a $25 pizza order for $8 bucks. The girls were amazed, but, the next time a similiar situation happened, they came to me and asked if I would call. I refused and told them to get some backbone and take care of it themselves, since it didn't affect me. I was in the insurance biz and dealt directly w/brokers and I can't tell you how many times they tried to intimidate me and I always stood my ground. If you're polite & mannerable, then you get the same in return, if you're rude & nasty, then I & most black females won't tolerate it. This is when the "attitude" comes out. As I like to say, "they made me go there". This doesn't mean you were cussed out, but, that you made me figuretively or literrally get in your face and square off with you.

 

I have a preference for white guys as well. However, I find that in Europe, White men and Asian men are more apt to approach me then their American counterparts.

[jimmers]

Black women are just as beautiful as white women. I think the "unaproachable" peice comes from the media, which with good intentions, made every effort to promote the "strong black woman" picture. The only problem with this was that the media felt that strength=masculinity so they made the women look very aggressive (ie: not letting spouse get away with anything, being the "secret" boss of the house etc.). When the media stops equating strength with masculinity, the real picture will come through.

[Academic]

If you notice, in many areas the overwhelming majority of the most attractive black women are actually with white men. Most white men in this society will go for a black women or or women outside of their race if she is superior to any women he could potentially get within his own race. The irony is, there are many high-quality black women and of other races for white men to choose from. Many attractive black women and women of other races (particularly Asian), maintain an inferiority complex that leads them to believe they are more valuable if they can attract a white man. It's somewhat of a slave mentality where they believe another race (of men) to be superior to their own. Which is why you see some of the most attractive and smart black women with white men, who are inferior in attractiveness and intellect to themselves. While some of the same women would never grant an equal or better reception towards men of their own race irrespective of those men's attractiveness, intellect and social status. It may all boil down to 'self-hatred' and low self-esteem that many minorities have for themselves in this part of the world. Society tells them that they as a group are bad and inferior, deep inside they believe it. It's quite clear because you don't see the same attitudes among many foreign black women. To be honest it's quite saddening to see so much of this among such talented and lovely human beings.

[FALL]

I know lots and lots and LOTS of very sexy, eligible white men that are only into black women. You're not alone

[lindya]

Do any other women find men who express views of sexually only being "into" or "not into" a particular race creepy? If I were in bed with a man who announced that he was only sexually attracted to white Europeans like me, I think I'd instantly feel as if I just permitted a squad of dirty, slimy toads to crawl all over me. It just conjures up visions of someone who sees his bed partners as easily interchangeable - provided they're all of a uniform colour.

 

Are there women out there who are attracted to that mindset...provided that they (the women) are of the "correct" race and therefore meet with the man's approval?

[Gold Pile]

Linda, Your posts are really good. Thank You.

[lindya]

Linda, Your posts are really good. Thank You.

 

Thank you Gold Pile. Though it's true to say I'm not meeting with universal approval today

[Honeyglo]

Why is it different when Black women are outspoken

and college educated it is looked upon as ghetto? I am

a black woman who has a four year degree plus some

units towards my Masters degree with an 3.8 gpa.

 

Now I have been told that I am pretty by men of ALL

races. White women STARTED THE HAIR WEAVING

business. Look it up in the hair history books! My hair

is naturally curly medium length. Why is it people have

to ask me is that your hair? I have NEWS for you!!!

 

Britney Spears, and Jessica Simpson wear HAIR WEAVES!!!

 

But do you ever hear white or black comics making

jokes about them wearing fake hair?!

 

Britney is WHITE TRASH why you are so dead set on

believing that Black women are ghetto. I am from a middle

class background. My mother who is of a mixed background

worked for a major university and my beautiful black

father served in the military for 22 years plus college

educated made sure that my brother and I lived in

nice homes. I took piano. My brother played the guitar and

was involved in many other activities.

 

The media DOES play a major role in how we perceive

beauty!!! Commercials will make sure they get the

cream of the crop white woman to advertise their hair

products. You will never see a Beth Midler type of white

woman making a commercial for prime time!!!

 

So women like Janet Jackson and Gabrielle Union are

found daily. The white media is always telling us

what and how to look!!!!! But in Psalm 139

 

GOD says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made!!!!

So yes in my community you will see Jada Pinkett Smith,

Halle Berry, Janet Jackson, Gabrielle Union,Vanessa Williams,Jill Scott, Vivica A. Fox, Alicia Keys, Kelly,

Michelle, Beyonce, Serena Williams, Tyra Banks,

Eva,Queen Latifah,Kimberly Elise,and Angela Basset

are COMMON in our areas!!!!

 

So again the white media will never use a Sandra

Bernhardt type to advertise for their shampoo!! Believe

that!! So just like the white media uses the cream of

the crop white women use cream of the crop black women!

 

A black woman who is strong and confident is either considered

cocky, ghetto, or the b name!

 

A white woman who is strong and confident she is

just considered confident!!!!! So

 

THINK ABOUT THAT!!!!!! This is coming from a black woman who is usually asked out by White,East Indian,

and Hispanic men because my natural tan they find

attractive!!!!!!!!

 

Remeber GOD'S word!!!! I have LOVE for all of you!!!!

[guyt]

U guyz need 2 remember that the sexualization of black women if a fairly new concept our culture is finally beginning to accept black beauty it will be a while before it becomes as widely accepted but it will eventually happen

[anonymous]

i am white and am attracted to black women, im attracted to any if they look good to me they look good. the thing about black women having 'attitude'....i hear that all the time and a lot of black guys dont date black women now because they 'have attitudes'. black women are extremely strong and dont take any bull from anyone, thats one reason i find them appealing. the media definitely has a lot to do with perception of what is 'attractive'......you mainly see these skinny white girls (paris hilton) being touted as beautiful. to me a woman who has curves is whats sexy. black , latina, arab, indian women have CURVES and ASSES. im born & raised in a predominantly black neighborhood and am sure glad of it

[Duxducis]

Attractiveness does come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Attractiveness is a quality all humans, no matter the shape, size or color, must find within themselves. If I think I'll be attractive by emulating someone elses shape, size or color I've missed it. Believing you're attractive and living the belief is only half the equation - someone out there must find your attractiveness appealing. Look for the person who finds YOUR hair style, shape, skin color, smile and/or personality appealing. You may try to make yourself appealing to someone who doesn't respond. Does that make you less attractive? It shouldn't if you believe in yourself. Do you want to appeal to white men? BE YOU. If a white man finds you appealing you've made your connection. If not, move on and take your attractiveness with you.

My wife is black and I'm white (if you haven't gathered that yet). We've been married for 11 years. It never was a color-thing for either of us. My wife was/is attractive from head to toe/inside and out. It wasn't the blackness of her skin that made her attractive. I don't have time to list all her qualities: nerve-melting smile, sexy voice that would have made her a 900-line millionaire many times over, hip-shaken walk that makes my heart fibrillar, intense honesty and openess of communication that I never thought possible in another human . . . to name just a few. You've got to be you no matter what your shape, size or color and continue to be you no matter who you try to appeal to.

[loveherfromadistance]

i thought she was half white?

[loveherfromadistance]

isn't halley half white? just wondering

[guest]

Most black women DO have attitudes how do you think they intimidate white guys and many other guy's as well it just depends on how long you can deal with it. How many women of color have you guys dated, not know dated, tell me more than one because one is not enough. I think the OP was getting at the fact that you don't see white men with black women that much. Why is that? I only date black women and I think I understand what turns most whit men off :not having the long hair, not weighing 110lbs, oh yea attitudes. from what I hear from black women is that white women are easy (not what I think) implying to me that if you get with them you'll have your work cut out.

 

 

I see that black guys love to say things such as these, yet most of the time they fail to give their black women any kind of respect, and it shows. I see black women far outnumber black men in universities as well as professional careers. They work very hard to build their lives because they know they cannot rely on their fellow black men, most of whom who frequent the prison cells or prefer the "thug-life". As a result, when these black women challenge their men to improve themselves and do better they are often met with "you don't know what a black man goes through, you should be more supportive" or "school is not for me" thus continuing the jail-cycle. And if a black man sleeps around or disrespects her in anyway, and his black girlfriend yells at him for it, she's considered to have an "attitude" (as if she's supposed to be okay with his disrespect). The worse thing is the way they portray their women in their rap songs, not only defiling the image of black women but negatively affecting the esteem of young black girls who see these things...the men do it all for the money and could care less. So these women have a lot of stereotypes to fight, while working hard to make a better life for themselves, and sometimes having to support kids on their own...kids that black men appear to abandon quite often. It's no wonder why black women quickly want to dismiss the "playas." All the "black-women-bashing" some black guys do in these forums doesn't help either. I don't know how a black man can claim to know what a white man thinks or how he views a black woman, but then again, they did a good job in damaging their reputation through the media and forums such as these. It's funny, I met a black dude who said he was rejected by a white chick because he wasn't "thug enough for her." Also note that convo occured in the middle of suburbia....the problem obviously being media stereotypes of blacks.

 

As far as interracial dating goes, while many black women were not open to it before (usually because of peer pressure from family or the fear of 'betraying the race'), a lot of them have had a change of heart especially after interacting with white men more at work/school/etc. I've witnessed 5 white male/black female marriages in the past couple of years and I'm seeing more of these couples walking around in public (I live in Boston, and yes the married women were full-black not mixed). But according to my black female co-worker, she sees this combination a bit more frequently in Europe than in the States, and said she had been approached by European white males quite often while abroad. So there is definitely hope for white men who are interested in pursuing a real relationship with black women and vise versa.

 

Obviously white men probably won't relate to the inner city women, but there are actually a lot of black women professionals out there looking for men (of any race) that they can have a relationship with and build a life with. I think the best thing for people to do is to put the stereotypes aside and just go for it, you never know, the love of your life may be someone outside your race. Would you be willing to pass that up and just 'settle' with someone??? Could be part of the reason for so many dissatisfied/unhappy marriages today.

 

Now this post wasn't an attempt to bash black men, but to point out to them that they don't have their **** together to be bashing their women the way they do. Black men can't deny their contribution to SOME of their women bearing this so-called attitude (not all of them have it). I mean, everybody knows it. I see the men posting aweful stereotypical things about their women on many forums (especially those with the subject of black women interracially dating...hmm suspicious) and then it ends up being some black man/black woman war which I'm so very sick of by now. There are stereotypes of both of you and airing your dirty laundry in public doesn't make either of you look any better. Since the whole black community is very affected by racism, there's even more reason for it to be unified. Probably easier said than done, but you can start by stopping this bashing. Try to see the good in eachother for once.

 

But here's some advice for all men out there to help you along in your hunt for the right person (regardless of her race), STOP LOOKING FOR CHICKS AT BARS/CLUBS!!!! (then you wonder why you get the bad apples)

 

ok i'll step off my soap dish now...

[dhouseman]

White men do find black women sexually attractive. At least I do though admittedly black women are harder for me to approach. I live in an area where interracial dating is still looked upon as being decidedly wrong and I am often ill at ease because I don't know how open minded a woman will be. Admittedly black men and white women have found an acceptance of a sort im the area where I live,but the opposite is not so easily accepted. I have dated a black woman and it was a very good experience. I suppose the problem is that when one is unsure of how they will be received they are inclined to move more carefully. The attitude issue can be another stumbling block. If you are not interested in me because I am white that is ok but a scene should not have to ensue simply because I find a black woman attractive and approach her.

[westernxer]

I come across tons of sistahs on the metro every single day. Some of them are really hot, too.

 

I'd do 'em.

[fusangite]

I'm of mixed race (my mom is Black) and I do not find Black or South Asian women physically attractive at all. I consider this to be a real shame because I know I miss out on a lot of potential romantic partners. None of my White friends have this problem, however -- my White male friends are all happy to date attractive women of whatever racial group.

 

I do think that our culture unfairly stereotypes Black women, depicting them as unintelligent, highly assertive and libidinous as a group. I think that is a real shame.

[ErikMJ]

Hi! I am an African American female who is very attracted to white men for one reason or another. To me they just seem more passionate in and out of bed.

 

Do white men find black women sexually attractive, enough to have relationships with them? Are black women viewed as being too masculine, and why? Does the media have anything to do with it? For one thing I notied magazines like Maxim rarely depict black women as being sexy, but there are plenty of latinas and maybe an Asian woman. I've heard people say that black women have high levels of testosterone, which I find very strange.

 

I've also heard white men say they are afraid to approach black women. I think one problem is society. It is okay for black men to date white,latino,asian, and even hindu women, but heaven forbid a black woman date a white men. I see this in my family. I got in trouble with a parent for dating a white man, but I've never heard anyone complain of my uncle who only dates white women.

 

What do you think?

 

I have a thing for black and other dark-skinned women. Some of them are simply stunning with curvy bodies and lucious, full lips. I find dark skin to be beautiful, exotic, sexy. Sadly, I havn't had the leasure of knowing many black or other dark-skinned ladies. I know for a fact that there are plenty - and I mean PLENTY! - of white guys who would like to date a black girl. Beyonce Knowles, Halle Berry, Tyra Banks etc. are all very popular among white males, but the thing is that you don't have to be a supermodel to "snag" yourself a white guy. There are dozens of sites and books dedicated to black women/white men dating and coupling. Ordinary white men wanting ordinary black women, and vice versa. Millions of them!

[ErikMJ]

However, I find that in Europe, White men and Asian men are more apt to approach me then their American counterparts.

 

gigliani:

 

This is true, especially in Nordic countries (I live in this region).