confusedcouple Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Hi i need some input please.* Im getting frustrated with my boyfriend and his jealousy.* I recently broke up with my fiance - who I'd been with for 6 yrs- to be with my boyfriend I love being with him but i can't get past his jealousy over me still living with my ex.* I suffer from depression and I was initially going to move in with my parents this week. Before Xmas wasn't an option.* I had a fall out with my family on xmas day and decided that i wasn't going to move in with them. wich means i have nowhere else to go. My boyfriend says he understands but the jealousy still shows. He made ****ty comments that no one else would stand for me sharing a bed with my ex, and he was only able to deal with it before because i was moving out soon. he says that if i move into the spare room (wich is currently a pile of boxes) and introduce him to my ex, he will be able to deal with his issues.* I feel that i shouldn't have to do anything to fix his issues and he should respect my decisions and trust that nothing is going on. He also hates it when i get upset and am comforted by ex Also bf is going through a divorce and has 3 kids Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 You're needing a serious reality check. You sleeping in the spare room and introducing him to the ex is the least you could do to gain his trust. That said, jealousy like this is not OK. If he can't deal with it, he should dump you...not be mean to you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 You & maybe your BF need to learn to do one thing at a time. End 1 relationship cleanly & completely before you monkey-branch into something else. This rash decision making probably causes many of your problems. It boggles my mind that you don't understand why your BF is upset by the fact that you still live with your EX-FI. Things will improve for you all the way around when you do the following: 1. Completely end things with Ex-FI. That means cancel all wedding plans, give back the ring, move out, finalize all bills & other joint responsibilities. 2. Heal from the BU. Take some significant time to analyze why your BU happened & what is to be learned from this. Don't go just go jump into bed with some married guy with 3 kids. Newsflash: not yet divorced = still married. 3. Get your financial house in order. If you are old enough to get married, you need to be mature enough to be self supporting. You have broken up with FI. Live independently. Stop sponging off your EX crying that you have no place else to go. 4. Fix whatever happened with your family. Especially if you are in such dire straights that you can't move out, you will need as many people in your corner as possible. This is more then about jealousy. This is partially about your new BF / MM telling you that you make bad decisions. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 I see the concern on his part as totally reasonable (not being mean but concerned, absolutely). You can't move a few boxes to separate yourself from sleeping in the bed with your ex to give the person you profess your love for, the comfort that any rational individual would want? Really? Would you be okay with him sharing a bed with his ex telling you that the other room is inconvenient? Think about it....yes, he should dump you..... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
throwaway2k17 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Yeah i'm sorry but i'd leave you if i were him and found out you still share a bed (let alone a place) with your ex. The spare room thing isn't even close to being good enough either. Don't want to sound mean, and even if you aren't doing anything with your ex, sharing a bed is unacceptable. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 You're needing a serious reality check. You sleeping in the spare room and introducing him to the ex is the least you could do to gain his trust. That said, jealousy like this is not OK. If he can't deal with it, he should dump you...not be mean to you. No he is right to feel this way. Also you are wrong to be dating a man that is still married. Going through a divorce or separated is still married. Also you are monkey branching. You do not start a new relationship before you end the current one. Living with the old BF is not ending the relationship. That behavior, regardless of what you are doing or not doing sends the wrong messages. Also dump you new BF. Not because he is jealous. Dump him because he should noy date a woman that is still living with her old BF. And because he is still married. Link to post Share on other sites
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