From GF to OW

[BaileyB]

It’s probably a good plan to let them have the weekend together.

 

What about one of those hobbies - can you get back into a favorite hobby this weekend? Sit in the sun and read a good book? It’s important to find something to fill your time that will bring you joy and keep your mind occupied.

 

When I mom passed, I learned to knit. I joined a knitting group, met some new people, and the knitting kept my mind busy. It was a blessing.

[Zahara]

I know everyone says that. I don't know if I believe it. Many, many people find happiness through other people. I feel like this "you can only be happy if you're happy with yourself first" is something people say to people who are alone and wanting to find a partner.

 

I'm not saying there is not some truth to it to some degree. I just think true happiness comes to people in so many forms and I would say a majority of people find a huge portion of their happiness from their partners.

 

Yes, we find joy in relationships. Secondary. But you need to find contentment within your own self to journey through life. Primary.

 

Your life isn’t a +1. Your life is you and and you don’t find fulfillment within yourself through others. There’s a saying — you can’t pour from an empty cup.

 

There was a time when I found nothing meaningful in life unless I was in a relationship. I changed that around and found myself living alone and going through life feeling content and happy, and of course the wonderment of being in a relationship sometimes crossed my mind but it was fleeting and it didn’t cripple me. I was just as content and fullfilled with the life I was living — alone. I remember traveling alone and there was a cruise and the line was long, filled with couples and families — it didn’t phase me one bit, and yes I was getting looks being the only loner but I felt so empowered and accomplished. I was living my life regardless of who was next to me. I was excited about my adventures. Great, if I had a boyfriend at the time but that would have just been a bonus to an already contented life.

 

I’m so grateful to have my boyfriend, and I love our relationship but if it ever leaves me, yes, I’ll grieve and I’ll endure pain but I also know that at some point I’ll heal and I’ll go back to living that life just as contently as I did before. Love from another isn’t permanent — it will at some point leave you. Self-love will always be there if you have it within you to turn to.

 

A relationship is not the end all be all. If all your happiness comes from it then you are only setting yourself up for failure for when it leaves you, you’re left with nothing because you allowed that relationship to fully define you.

 

You need to decorate your life and live in it’s beauty. Don’t wait for some man to come do that for you. There’s only one person that you can depend on — it’s you.

[BaileyB]

Yes, we find joy in relationships. Secondary. But you need to find contentment within your own self to journey through life. Primary.

 

Your life isn’t a +1. Your life is you and and you don’t find fulfillment within yourself through others. There’s a saying — you can’t pour from an empty cup.

 

I’m so grateful to have my boyfriend, and I love our relationship but if it ever leaves me, yes, I’ll grieve and I’ll endure pain but I also know that at some point I’ll heal and I’ll go back to living that life just as contently as I did before. Love from another isn’t permanent — it will at some point leave you. Self-love will always be there if you have it within you to turn to.

 

A relationship is not the end all be all. If all your happiness comes from it then you are only setting yourself up for failure for when it leaves you, you’re left with nothing because you allowed that relationship to fully define you.

 

You need to decorate your life and live in it’s beauty. Don’t wait for some man to come do that for you. There’s only one person that you can depend on — it’s you.

 

I could not agree more. This is beautifully written.

 

When I was single, there were times that I was lonely. Sure. There were times when I felt disconnected from others because I didn't have kids/husband/family to discuss.

 

But, I worked hard to build my own big and beautiful life. I invested in work, hobbies, and volunteer work. I built wonderful relationships with friends and family. I traveled the world and had great adventures! I took the saying to heart - "You are never lonely if you are good company."

 

Now, I have a boyfriend. Sometimes I'm sad that we didn't meet sooner in life. I imagine the life we could have created, the home, the children we would have had. But then, I remember the life that I've lived, the time I've shared with my parents and my nieces and nephew, the travels that I've done... And I know, that wouldn't have happened if I had met him earlier. We would have different adventures, but I would have missed all this other stuff... And I'm grateful for that.

 

This weekend, he is spending time with his son. Am I lonely at night and missing him because there are several days that we are not together, absolutely. But, I had a beautiful wedding shower to attend last night and I'm watching my niece play baseball this weekend. I had to turn down a lunch invitation with friends and I'm looking forward to having some time tomorrow to read and knit. If anyone is bored and lonely this weekend, it's my boyfriend...

 

Having someone in your life may bring you companionship and joy. But, true happiness and contentment comes from within. If you are unhappy and lonely without a relationship, you will continue to feel unhappy and lonely within your relationship.

[CrushingHope]

Yes, we find joy in relationships. Secondary. But you need to find contentment within your own self to journey through life. Primary.

 

Your life isn’t a +1. Your life is you and and you don’t find fulfillment within yourself through others. There’s a saying — you can’t pour from an empty cup.

 

There was a time when I found nothing meaningful in life unless I was in a relationship. I changed that around and found myself living alone and going through life feeling content and happy, and of course the wonderment of being in a relationship sometimes crossed my mind but it was fleeting and it didn’t cripple me. I was just as content and fullfilled with the life I was living — alone. I remember traveling alone and there was a cruise and the line was long, filled with couples and families — it didn’t phase me one bit, and yes I was getting looks being the only loner but I felt so empowered and accomplished. I was living my life regardless of who was next to me. I was excited about my adventures. Great, if I had a boyfriend at the time but that would have just been a bonus to an already contented life.

 

I’m so grateful to have my boyfriend, and I love our relationship but if it ever leaves me, yes, I’ll grieve and I’ll endure pain but I also know that at some point I’ll heal and I’ll go back to living that life just as contently as I did before. Love from another isn’t permanent — it will at some point leave you. Self-love will always be there if you have it within you to turn to.

 

A relationship is not the end all be all. If all your happiness comes from it then you are only setting yourself up for failure for when it leaves you, you’re left with nothing because you allowed that relationship to fully define you.

 

You need to decorate your life and live in it’s beauty. Don’t wait for some man to come do that for you. There’s only one person that you can depend on — it’s you.

 

I do see what you're saying and understand the importance of finding contentment alone. I do not think the majority of the "happy" people in the world have this though. Or need it to continue to be happy. I do feel that they will struggle more than those who do have it, when the time comes that something should break their relationship. My point is that it's not absolutely necessary to have this contentment alone before finding someone to share your life with. Is it ideal to have that contentment first? Yes absolutely. And I would love to be able to make that happen for myself for sure.

 

I think what I struggle with too is that before I was with him and also when I was with him, I was able to do my cherished lone activities and enjoy them fully. So if he was at work or doing something else, I was perfectly content to paint or read or go to the pool for a swim and feel amazing. I didn't need to be stuck to his side to feel joy or contentment. But when I lose him and he is gone, only then do I struggle with finding contentment with the things I once loved.

 

I just had a really lovely skype visit with my best friend who lives in Calgary. She is pregnant for the first time, at 39 and I focused mostly on her and about the pregnancy and a bunch of other stuff she's going through. It felt nice to be present. We did not once talk about my situation or what I'm feeling about this man.

 

Bailey, yes, I agree that not going to the cottage is best for them. It will put my dad's focus on me instead of her during a weekend that should be about them and their anniversary. Today I'm going to start a new painting and maybe go to a movie or something later.

 

At my work function last night a really lovely woman who just came back from 2 years of mat leave asked me if I would like to get together sometime. She told another coworker that she feels a really strong connection with me, which was so nice to hear. And we discovered that we literally live around the corner from each other. Again, her life is very different to mine, having 2 kids under 5, but I'm glad to have a new friend.

 

Also, my boss told me last night that he thinks I'm "awesome" and he was so happy that I put myself out there to get him to give me a chance in this new role. He said he wouldn't have considered me initially (I have been so quiet at work and easily overlooked) but that the second I started my pitch as to why he should consider me, he said he saw me in a whole new light. It was a really nice thing to hear and I was proud of myself for asking for the job and pushing myself to be seen for the real me after months of hiding in the corner.

Edited June 23, 2018 by CrushingHope

[CrushingHope]

I could not agree more. This is beautifully written.

 

When I was single, there were times that I was lonely. Sure. There were times when I felt disconnected from others because I didn't have kids/husband/family to discuss.

 

But, I worked hard to build my own big and beautiful life. I invested in work, hobbies, and volunteer work. I built wonderful relationships with friends and family. I traveled the world and had great adventures! I took the saying to heart - "You are never lonely if you are good company."

 

Now, I have a boyfriend. Sometimes I'm sad that we didn't meet sooner in life. I imagine the life we could have created, the home, the children we would have had. But then, I remember the life that I've lived, the time I've shared with my parents and my nieces and nephew, the travels that I've done... And I know, that wouldn't have happened if I had met him earlier. We would have different adventures, but I would have missed all this other stuff... And I'm grateful for that.

 

This weekend, he is spending time with his son. Am I lonely at night and missing him because there are several days that we are not together, absolutely. But, I had a beautiful wedding shower to attend last night and I'm watching my niece play baseball this weekend. I had to turn down a lunch invitation with friends and I'm looking forward to having some time tomorrow to read and knit. If anyone is bored and lonely this weekend, it's my boyfriend...

 

Having someone in your life may bring you companionship and joy. But, true happiness and contentment comes from within. If you are unhappy and lonely without a relationship, you will continue to feel unhappy and lonely within your relationship.

 

This is exactly what I want. I'm envious but so very happy to hear where you're at in your life. And I agree that sometimes I feel left out etc about not having kids or meeting someone when I was younger and how that could have affected my life...but I have traveled all over the world, I have been able to change careers, cities and start over many, many times because I've been alone...and I wouldn't have had those things otherwise.

 

I have enjoyed so many things alone and will again....I have no shame to have dinner by myself, go to the movies, travel...but what's getting me now is that I felt so wonderful with him, and getting to share the things I love with him, that the thought of not having someone again makes me incredibly sad.

 

I have never, ever been the person that clings to the guy she's dating. I'm incredibly independent and have always been that way. I have tons of hobbies and things that I enjoy. I'm just not enjoying them during this time of my life because of what has happened.

 

I am not really trying to build a life of contentment from scratch...I have been there before...maybe not fully, but definitely somewhat. I'm just trying to get back there and rebuild it.

[georgia girl]

Crushing hope,

 

This was such a wonderful post to read. It was so nice to hear about you, your interests, your friends and your successes. There will still be down days, but this post feels like you have turned a corner and you are starting to remember who you are. I am so happy for you right now!

[BaileyB]

CH, those are great things - positive feedback from your boss and a new friendship that you can develop. I hope you are really proud and really excited about these opportunities.

 

I agree, your last post was wonderful to read.

 

And no, I would agree that you don't need to find contentment alone before you find a relationship. However, I would suggest that many people, like yourself, sometimes find themselves in unhealthy relationship - clinging to the wrong man, for all the wrong reasons.

 

Healthy relationships result when two happy, healthy, and independent people come together. Both partners are able to stand on their own two feet and both partners bring something to the relationship. They are then able to form a relationship where one partner is not dependent on the other for their happiness or anything else... That, to me, is what you need to work towards in anticipation of the next wonderful man you will meet.

[CrushingHope]

Crushing hope,

 

This was such a wonderful post to read. It was so nice to hear about you, your interests, your friends and your successes. There will still be down days, but this post feels like you have turned a corner and you are starting to remember who you are. I am so happy for you right now!

 

Thank you, GG. I have been through this before and I know I will be ok. I have said it all along. I know myself exceptionally well. I feel things so deeply...both the good and the bad. My ex always told me that my excitement and appreciation of the smallest things in life is one of the things he liked most about me. I feel on so many levels. But that makes times likes this very challenging for me. But I don't run from it or pretend to be okay in moments that I'm not.

 

And aside from him, I surround myself with very good people. As I don't have very much in the way of family (other than my most wonderful dad), I have to find my family in my friendships. In that way, I have become very rich. And I don't take my friendships for granted ever. Another friend of mine has been struggling with some things lately so I've put a care package together for her just to brighten her day. It makes me happy to do things for the people I love.

 

Anyway...thank you for your support. I'm getting so much out of being on this site and being completely raw and honest with what I'm going through, and the support and help has been really incredible and life saving for me.

[Zahara]

I do see what you're saying and understand the importance of finding contentment alone. I do not think the majority of the "happy" people in the world have this though. Or need it to continue to be happy. I do feel that they will struggle more than those who do have it, when the time comes that something should break their relationship. My point is that it's not absolutely necessary to have this contentment alone before finding someone to share your life with. Is it ideal to have that contentment first? Yes absolutely. And I would love to be able to make that happen for myself for sure.

 

The objective of independence (aloneness) is to build self-esteem and to realize your worth and sense of individuality, especially when you lack it or have lost it.

 

When you get to that level of accomplishment, it will help you walk away from bad situations, identify the absolute value in yourself and in turn it will give you the strength to move on, because you know you deserve better.

 

Those of us that fear being alone or can't be alone often find ourselves in bad situations for far too long for several reasons of which you likely already know. I'm a statistic, I have girlfriends who are and for as long as I have been on LS, the common theme is the lack of self-worth that keeps us sitting in situations that are detrimental to us because we had nothing else going for us or have let the relationship define us.

 

I think what I struggle with too is that before I was with him and also when I was with him, I was able to do my cherished lone activities and enjoy them fully. So if he was at work or doing something else, I was perfectly content to paint or read or go to the pool for a swim and feel amazing. I didn't need to be stuck to his side to feel joy or contentment. But when I lose him and he is gone, only then do I struggle with finding contentment with the things I once loved.

 

And maybe it is going to take time for you to get there. Like I said, if my relationship ended today, I would likely fall down a dark hole but I do know one thing and because I actually lived it, I know I'll be perfectly fine in time with no fear of being alone, time running out, needing to be in a relationship, needing a man, etc. The issue here is that your goal is to be with someone/have a relationship, find love, which you have reiterated many times. My goal if I had a breakup would be to heal and then live my life just as I did before him. Change your goals.

 

At my work function last night a really lovely woman who just came back from 2 years of mat leave asked me if I would like to get together sometime. She told another coworker that she feels a really strong connection with me, which was so nice to hear. And we discovered that we literally live around the corner from each other. Again, her life is very different to mine, having 2 kids under 5, but I'm glad to have a new friend.

 

Awesome! I found cultivating friendships to have been a saving grace in my dark days.

 

Also, my boss told me last night that he thinks I'm "awesome" and he was so happy that I put myself out there to get him to give me a chance in this new role. He said he wouldn't have considered me initially (I have been so quiet at work and easily overlooked) but that the second I started my pitch as to why he should consider me, he said he saw me in a whole new light. It was a really nice thing to hear and I was proud of myself for asking for the job and pushing myself to be seen for the real me after months of hiding in the corner.

 

I'm so happy for you. People are realizing your value and you need to embrace these moments and lift yourself up. These are the people -- your friends, family, colleagues -- that will love you and care for you and see your worth. Those that don't, need to be booted from your life because their only role will be to tear you down.

Edited June 23, 2018 by Zahara

[stillafool]

 

When I mom passed, I learned to knit. I joined a knitting group, met some new people, and the knitting kept my mind busy. It was a blessing.

 

I'm dying to learn to knit. Was it hard? Sorry to get off topic.

[BaileyB]

I'm dying to learn to knit. Was it hard? Sorry to get off topic.

 

Not hard at all, by my grandmother had taught me the basics when I was young. I quite enjoy it. It's very relaxing.

Edited June 23, 2018 by BaileyB

[FMW]

CrushingHope, I think it's ok and natural to want to share your life with someone, so being "content" with yourself doesn't mean you shut out that desire.

 

But like everyone is saying, until the right someone comes along (someone who is available and focused on only you as a partner), work on liking and loving yourself. Plenty of examples have been given on how to do that, just adjust them to your tastes and talents.

 

I think the goal is to reach peace with yourself and learn to enjoy life as an un-partnered person. That doesn't mean you won't ever feel lonely or alone, but the goal is to make those times the exception, not the rule.

 

 

Others are reaching out to you and expressing their appreciation, that's awesome! So try to focus on that and realize that more people will share that appreciation and desire to connect with you if you give them a chance.

 

A very cliche thought, but true, is that this is a journey, not a race. When you stumble or have a down day just remember that it's a momentary thing and will pass if you allow yourself to keep looking forward.

[CrushingHope]

CrushingHope, I think it's ok and natural to want to share your life with someone, so being "content" with yourself doesn't mean you shut out that desire.

 

But like everyone is saying, until the right someone comes along (someone who is available and focused on only you as a partner), work on liking and loving yourself. Plenty of examples have been given on how to do that, just adjust them to your tastes and talents.

 

I think the goal is to reach peace with yourself and learn to enjoy life as an un-partnered person. That doesn't mean you won't ever feel lonely or alone, but the goal is to make those times the exception, not the rule.

 

 

Others are reaching out to you and expressing their appreciation, that's awesome! So try to focus on that and realize that more people will share that appreciation and desire to connect with you if you give them a chance.

 

A very cliche thought, but true, is that this is a journey, not a race. When you stumble or have a down day just remember that it's a momentary thing and will pass if you allow yourself to keep looking forward.

 

Thank you FMW, I'm trying. I had a rough day yesterday. Weekends just kill me. Even if I have things going on, they are just not enough to keep my mind off wanting to hear from him. I don't know how this will ever change. I am so stuck in. I try to tell myself over and over that he's not the one for me, and remind myself of all of his bad qualities... I keep a list in my wallet... But nothing seems to change my want. Without that changing, I don't know how I'll ever be at peace with being alone because in the back of my mind I will always want him.

 

I am definitely making progress in some ways. I don't cry every day. But my low days are still so low and it feels like I'm going backwards. I was so close to reaching out to him yesterday but I didn't.

 

I am trying to follow the motto "let it be"... And hope that things will improve and that I will learn that I don't have control of everything.

 

It's a tough journey.

 

I understand that I have to get back to being content on my own. I have been there are least somewhat in the past. But I've never been this low and it's a very steep climb to get there.

 

I don't know how to change what I want. You want what you want.

[BaileyB]

 

I am trying to follow the motto "let it be"... And hope that things will improve and that I will learn that I don't have control of everything.

 

It's a tough journey.

 

I don't know how to change what I want. You want want..

 

I love that song. I listened to it again and again when my mom was ill/after she passed. There is nothing like a life altering event - a breakup or a death - to remind you that you don’t have control of everything... sometimes, you just have to let it be and make peace with things.

 

And yes, it is a tough journey. But, it’s during these times in life that personal growth is possible. We are not generally motivated to grow and change when life is going well... and the truth is, we will all have good and bad in our lives. Joy and sadness. Nobody gets everything they want. Nobody is immune from the pain of loss.

 

Your last comment brought a smile to my face... it reminded me of a discussion I had once wth my three year old niece. We were leaving the skating arena and she wanted something from the concession. I said no, and she imparted her three your old wisdom on me... “If you want it, you get it.” I replied to say, no... that’s not the way things work. In life, sometimes there are things we want. Sure. It doesn’t mean that they are good for us or that we deserve to get it.

 

Regarding this man, I’d like to think that there is a bigger plan for you... the universe is telling you, he is not the one. It’s time to move on. Heed that plan. Look forward, not back, as much as you can... eventually, he will be so far in your rear view mirror that you won’t even see him anymore...

 

Have a good day.

[CrushingHope]

I love that song. I listened to it again and again when my mom was ill/after she passed. There is nothing like a life altering event - a breakup or a death - to remind you that you don’t have control of everything... sometimes, you just have to let it be and make peace with things.

 

And yes, it is a tough journey. But, it’s during these times in life that personal growth is possible. We are not generally motivated to grow and change when life is going well... and the truth is, we will all have good and bad in our lives. Joy and sadness. Nobody gets everything they want. Nobody is immune from the pain of loss.

 

Your last comment brought a smile to my face... it reminded me of a discussion I had once wth my three year old niece. We were leaving the skating arena and she wanted something from the concession. I said no, and she imparted her three your old wisdom on me... “If you want it, you get it.” I replied to say, no... that’s not the way things work. In life, sometimes there are things we want. Sure. It doesn’t mean that they are good for us or that we deserve to get it.

 

Regarding this man, I’d like to think that there is a bigger plan for you... the universe is telling you, he is not the one. It’s time to move on. Heed that plan. Look forward, not back, as much as you can... eventually, he will be so far in your rear view mirror that you won’t even see him anymore...

 

Have a good day.

 

Thank you Bailey. You have become such a friend to me during this.

 

I was watching the latest "car karaoke" and Paul McCartney was saying how that song came to be. After his mom passed away she came to him in a dream when he had been struggling with the loss and she said "let it be"... And that's where it came from. It reminded me that I can work on letting things go.

 

Maybe the universe is telling me to let him go for a reason. I don't know. Things with him and this woman need to play out without my interference. Even if I contacted him and he came baxk next week, I could never trust that they were done. A lot would have to happen for me to ever feel safe with him again. I know that. So I need to do my best to stay away. It's just so hard not to want back the good times we shared.

 

I wish I could truly believe that I would have more good times with someone else in the future.

 

I am so tired of missing out on life.

[BaileyB]

 

I was watching the latest "car karaoke" and Paul McCartney was saying how that song came to be. After his mom passed away she came to him in a dream when he had been struggling with the loss and she said "let it be"... And that's where it came from.

 

Even if I contacted him and he came baxk next week, I could never trust that they were done. A lot would have to happen for me to ever feel safe with him again. I know that. So I need to do my best to stay away.

 

Ah, thanks for sharing. That warms my heart in a way that I can not express...

 

I completely agree. This man has not earned your trust and to offer to him after all that has happened would be foolish. I’m glad that you see that.

[CrushingHope]

Ah, thanks for sharing. That warms my heart in a way that I can not express...

 

I completely agree. This man has not earned your trust and to offer to him after all that has happened would be foolish. I’m glad that you see that.

 

I do see that. The problem is I've truly "seen" it from the start...at least ever since he went back to her the first time. But I continued to take him back over and over because he seemed so sincere. And I truly do feel like he's not happy there and that he will continue to struggle with being with her. But I have to stop hoping for he and I do be able to work out.

[CrushingHope]

Every few days, it seems, I get this crazy desire to text him. I know I shouldn't. So I'm here instead.

I feel desperate and out of control and know how quickly I could send a text. I draft it up in my head and then have to talk myself out of sending it. The more time that goes by the stronger the desire is to reach out. I know she works Wed nights so she wouldn't get the text if I sent it later.

 

But I'm trying to convince myself not to.

 

It's a daily struggle. And very much like a drug. It's so I comfortable. I wish he would give me the respect to tell me the truth about things and why he goes back. I know it shouldn't matter but it does. But no matter what he says I will never be able to trust it so it is pointless.

[CrushingHope]

I'm trying really hard to move on. I am saying yes to doing things with people and trying to fill my evenings and weekends as much as I can.

 

But I come home and I feel empty and sad and still cry a lot.

 

I'm trying to "fake it 'til you make it".

 

I'm better than I was, but worry that even when I'm "healed", I will continue to have an underlying sense of sadness.

 

I remember over 10 years ago now, I was traveling Australia, alone. I was working at a cafe and this woman would come in quite regularly, have a coffee and people watch or read. She told me one day "you have such a gentle spirit about you, and your way with people is wonderful. You have a deep sadness about you, but things will be good for you one day, I promise". I never saw her again after that day.

 

12 years later and I'm still waiting...

[BaileyB]

Thinking of you tonight CH, and hoping that you are well.

[CrushingHope]

Thank you, Bailey. You are so thoughtful.

 

I'm hanging in. I'm still struggling with some parts of this but I'm finding it less debilitating. I feel less acute pain and more general numbness I guess. I'm keeping busy and trying to find joy again. I still miss and think about him more than I "should"...every day. But I know that will go away one day.

 

I'm trying.

 

How are you? Have you made your trip east yet? I can't remember exactly when you said you were going to be here.

[BaileyB]

Glad to hear that you are still hanging in...

 

It will get better with time, it sounds like it has already.

 

My trip is in early August. Thanks for asking, I'm excited to see your city! I just wish that I was there a little longer...

 

Take care.

[CrushingHope]

BaileyB, how was your trip to Ottawa?

 

Things have not changed too dramatically for me. I'm feeling "better" overall in the sense that I don't spend every day crying. But sadly, I still find myself wishing to hear from him...I haven't. And I often daydream about what life could have been like for us had so many things been different.

 

I still have no real desire to be with anyone else and, although I do keep busy as much as possible, I still spend the majority of my time alone.

 

Sometimes I fear that my happiest days are behind me and that the next 50 years of my life will be as empty and lonely as they are right now. It's a terrible thought and I don't know how to change it. Even though I am spending time with a few new friends here and there, and seeing some of my old ones, and spending time with my dad as much as possible, there is an emptiness that doesn't ever seem to fill.

 

Things at work are going well. I'm getting an extension on an assignment that I wasn't sure I was going to get, so that's good. I'm taking better care of my physical health...got back to the gym and recently started a new eating plan. I'm feeling physically stronger.

 

I'm still seeing a counsellor but only have one session left...and then I don't know. I doubt I will try to find a new one. I don't see that it's doing very much good.

 

I'm just putting one foot in front of the other, waking up, going to work, trying to keep busy...but every night I go to bed feeling empty and sad...hoping that tomorrow is better.

[BaileyB]

Ahhh, CH. my heart aches for you.

 

When I was single, I remember feeling the same loneliness and thinking sadly, that my best days had passed me by... That all I had were memories and that the future held nothing to look forward too...

 

And then, I met the most wonderful man. And, not that it is the be all, end all... But, it reaffirmed a belief that you just never know what is around the corner for you. Something that I never thought would happen for me, happened... I hope that happens for you too. Keep the faith. Life is full of possibilities, and you just never know where it will take you next...

 

We had a beautiful trip to Ottawa, thanks for asking. It is an increadibly beautiful city! I loved all the green spaces, and we loves downtown. We stayed near Byward market one night and we sat on parliament hill to watch the light show. It was a beautiful night that I will never forget. You have a beautiful city...

[LoverOfDance]

OP, i still think about you from time to time wondering if you're doing better. From your last post, i can see some progress. It might not seem like much but it is actually very significant progress.

 

I want you to know that you don't need to meet a man in order to regain hope and see that life has so much more in store for you. When i was getting over the man i felt hopelessly in love with, i prayed for help and prayed that i would find someone who would help bring joy and light into my life again. Never happened, lol. It took me 5 or 6 years but i eventually moved on all on my own, without the help of a man.

 

OP, you can do this. i truly believe you can. One thing that really helped me a lot was dance. I am hopelessly in love with dance, lol. Find something that lights a fire in you and work hard to be better at it. It will help build your confidence and make you feel like you can take on the entire world. Give yourself a purpose and focus on that purpose. With time you'll slowly heal and life will go on and one day you'll realize that you're free and happy again.