Belle23 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 (edited) I’ve known this guy for several years now, but we just recently started becoming closer friends. Well, the other day I had an issue with a guy, so I reached out to ask him for advice. We were texting about it and it seemed like he had no issue talking about it. However, now he won’t talk to me and I’m not sure why. The only thing I can point to is that last conversation. What can I do? Btw, he turned me down a couple years ago before we became friends, so I don’t think he’s not talking to me now because he’s jealous. Edited January 4, 2018 by Belle23 Link to post Share on other sites
LilySun Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 Is this the 1st time you discussed dating problems with him, or has it always been that way? Does he discuss his love life with you? And do you mean he is ignoring you, or you just haven't heard from him in a while? Just because he turned you down once, doesn't mean he can't have jealous feelings, or can't still develop feelings for you. Maybe he is just busy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 When you say "he won't talk to me", what exactly is happening? How many unanswered messages have you left....and over what time frame? Even close friends can go days or weeks without talking if one is busy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 I too want to know if you've always talked to each other about each other's love interests. If so, probably has nothing to do with that. If not, maybe he gets an ego boost out of knowing you want him even if he doesn't want you that way back. Oh, yes, that can happen to people who need building up. Link to post Share on other sites
IndigoNight Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 It could be something as simple as he is just too busy to talk to you right now. Give him some space, and see if it helps. Do you always talk to him about your problems? Some people just burn out on being an emotional dumping ground. ESPECIALLY, if they are giving sound advice and are being ignored. If you find yourself replying, "yeah, but" or giving reasons why his suggestions won't work for you, he could have decided to stop trying to help you, if you always blew him off. Or, like I said, he has his own stuff to deal with. Call him ONCE with a quick and sincere, "Just haven't heard from you lately, and want to make sure everything is okay. I am here for you." Then give him some space. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Indigo made a good point. My not so BFF has been on and off complaining about her husband since they met. She should have left him long ago and I'm now tired of hearing about it. When things are bad now, I deliberately miss messages and have also been known to tell her that I don't have the emotional space to deal with it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Just because he blew you off years ago doesn't mean in the meantime he hasn't changed his mind. You did say you were getting closer. But some men are just not that interested in being an emotional sponge, so maybe take your dating woes to a girl friend instead. Also what did you say in that last conversation? Maybe by focusing in on YOUR problem, you inadvertently hurt his feelings or annoyed him or you ignored something he was trying to tell you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Belle23 Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 This was the first time we’ve talked about dating problems. We talked about his love life a bit before I was venting to him about mine. I asked him about his ex. I’d rather not specifically go into what I vented to him about. But basically I had to get something from a guy who I just broke things off with. He ignored my messages the next day that were basically giving him an update how things went. I’m just panicked because he NEVER ignores me. If he’s texting or calling me back late, he’ll be apologizing. Maybe I’m just overreacting cause I had a rough week. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Maybe he thought you were hinting that HE should go with you to get whatever it is from the guy, which would put him in a position of getting into a fight. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 It's possible he's just been busy. Although that much time without responding is a little odd. Keep trying to get in touch, he will get to you eventually. However, generally when it comes to venting about important stuff (relationships, work etc) to my friends I do it in person as I find it easier to convey full meaning, and can hold back if they're disinterested or tired of hearing it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Belle23 Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 It's possible he's just been busy. Although that much time without responding is a little odd. Keep trying to get in touch, he will get to you eventually. However, generally when it comes to venting about important stuff (relationships, work etc) to my friends I do it in person as I find it easier to convey full meaning, and can hold back if they're disinterested or tired of hearing it. I moved to a new city. That’s why it’s been texting/phone convos. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 Given the responses in this thread, why not bring the guy issue to LS and let the pros here work it? I checked your thread list and it's pretty brisk. Sometimes friends go dark. Part of friendship is not expecting, rather appreciating. I'm sure he'll get back to you presently, presuming he's OK/healthy. Stuff happens for people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 OP: I feel you are still orbiting him whether you realize it or not. Think about it for a moment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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