He was watching me on our security cameras and now turns them off for himself

[nowwhat00]

my significant other has a security camera in his/our house. He insists on keeping the camera running non stop in the living room and has mentioned that he’s watched me on it before during the day to see what I was doing and/or who I was talking to on the phone.

 

During an argument I recently blew up and told him I didn’t like to be monitored in my own home. I said it needs to go off.

 

I also insisted on having access to it if he was going to do that. He said no. He was STRONG about saying NO and said the fact that I wanted access was a RED FLAG TO HIM. He blew a gasket and told me I was clearly insane and that I don't get that right to HIS cameras.

 

He also told me that the cameras delete within 24 hours. (He threatened to use the videos to show family/friends our fights to embarrass me )

 

 

Then the next day he gave me access….obviously he realized he shouldn’t have been such a jerk. WHen I logged in I saw that the cameras save for 10 days and HE has a private file where he has saved recordings I can't access.

 

However, the past 2 nights — he was home alone and the camera was shut off immediately before he entered the house and just mysteriously went back on in the morning around 5am.

 

I asked him about it this morning and he said he set it to shut off while he/we were in the house — as I requested. He said it does it automatically now.

 

Well, I just returned home from my work trip and saw that he came home like normal tonight and the camera was recording. It did NOT automatically shut off when he came home.

 

I get email alerts when the camera spots someone in the living room. I couldn’t believe it. As I watched the clip…I saw him turn around a look at the camera and realize that he forgot the lie he told me.

 

He walked over to the camera and said “i know you are looking at this now, I’m not dumb” and walked away.

 

He is super smart so he knows that he screwed up and forgot.

 

I would get notified if he came or left the house — so no one else was there while the cameras were off….but clearly he was hiding something from me.

 

What would you think/do?

 

I have pretended I haven't noticed this -- and he left the house and texted "is everything ok?"

 

He clearly has a guilty conscience. I am now feeling very paranoid....WHY did he shut the cameras off while I was gone and NEVER at any other time?

Edited January 9, 2018 by nowwhat00

[BaileyB]

The day that myself or my significant other begin recording each other in our own home will be the day that I file for divorce.

 

There is absolutely no way that I would find it acceptable for my husband to be filming me in my own home. I wouldn't be having this discussion with him, I wouldn't be fighting about it... He could take his security cameras and leave. Tonight.

 

ETA - I have been filmed at work in a clients home, without my consent and then with my knowledge because we saw the images on the camera. It is a very uncomfortable and unnerving feeling... which is why I say, I would never live like this in my own home. No way!

[Art_Critic]

I said it needs to go off.

 

I don't blame you.. I would feel the same way..

 

Me.. easy peasy.. the cameras would meet a horrible death by baseball bat..

 

I wouldn't stand for it.. what an effing jerk you have for a husband to do that to their spouse..

You don't need security cameras when you are home.. that is just monitoring you and a sign of an abuser..

[RecentChange]

First, I would never be okay with this - no freaking way. But I have a few questions.

 

my significant other

 

Husband? Boyfriend? For how long?

 

has a security camera in his/our house.

 

Is it his house or "our" house? How long have you lived there? How long as this camera thing been going on?

 

He insists on keeping the camera running non stop in the living room and has mentioned that he’s watched me on it before during the day to see what I was doing and/or who I was talking to on the phone.

 

OH HELL NO. So you aren't allowed any privacy? Does he not trust you? How is the rest of your relationship?