The most confusing guy in the world....the update to the post (Crazy for this boy<3)

[daddyslilqt3]

L/S readers I need a favor... a big favor... please read this and tell me what you think.... prospectives from both guys and girls would be amazing.... thank youuuu so much and if you answer this I soooo owe you one... to fully understand it please read "Crazy for this boy<3 How do I start something?" first.... it would just give more insight...... thank you millions!!!

 

Ok I don't know if any of you have read my other post... "Crazy for this boy<3 How do I start something?" but yeahhh this post is yet again about the same guy.....so in the last post everyone said make a move because he is soooo shy... well i did and honestly it was great... My friend and I were out at the restaurant he works at and we saw him... he sat next to me while he was supposed to be working three times.... at one point he even said "I should just pull up a chair"... thats how many times he came over to talk to us. So I wound up asking him if he wanted to come over after he got off work b/c my friend was coming back to my house anyway. So he said yes he would definitely come and came over like 2 hours later.

 

We had a great night and he stayed like 15 minutes longer than my friend so it gave us a chance to talk and hang out. He said how he had a great time and that we should hang out again. He gave me his s/n and told me to i/m him later that night so I did. It was a quick conversation and a day or two later he went away on vacation.

 

He hadn't been on for like a week and then all of a sudden 3 days ago I saw that he signed on. I was so excited and didn't want to i/m him and look pathetic so I waited for him to i/m me which he did. He i/med me and said hey and said how he had just gotten home from vacation 2 hours ago. It made me feel great that I might have been on his mind and for him to i/m me. We both said how we had a great time that night that we hung out and I said "yeah we should do it again sometime". He agreed and then I told him I had to go and that was it.

 

Everything seemed like it was going right... slow pace.. step by step... etc but now everything has come to a complete stop. I mean I i/med him the next day when his away was on and just said hey but he never i/med me back... At first I thought maybe he just didn't get it b/c stuff like that happens to me all the time but then he never i/med me again and even though most of the time my away is on he still could have just i/med me to say hi.

 

I just don't get it.... I thought he was interested... If i was him and wans't interested then I would have never gone to the persons house or sat and talked to them or even i/med them the day I got home from vacation. Pleaseeeeeee help me... Any thoughts? what do you think? Do you think he is interested? or was interested? or what should I do? Do i leave it alone or just i/m him another time and see what happens? Ahhh idk... helpppppppppppppp

[Curt]

Well, first I have to give you some props! You did great in making the move.

 

It was fantastic that you had the strength as a young woman to step up to the task, and give things a caring "nudge." Sometimes, that's all it takes. Plus, the fact that you were both taking things really step-by-step is excellent also.

 

You did good there, sistah!

 

Now, as for the current problem, y'know ... it could have been nearly anything that caused him to not get back to your IM. Then again, maybe it just might take him a little bit longer to get back to ya.

 

Sounds like he was interested, yes, and he still might be ... he just may be takin' his time (you know us guys are strange like that sometimes), and it might be that he's busy with work or his friends or whatever.

 

I would give it a bit more time. While it's possible that he may have cooled off for some reason, I think I'd give it a little bit more before callin' him a lost cause.

 

And hey ... even if he's no longer interested ... don't lose that "go get 'im" spirit that you have shown. It's a breath of fresh air, and I think you're going to make whichever dude is lucky enough to get ya, a very happy guy indeed.

 

Keep it real hunn, and give us an update when you have it.

 

Curt

[Zephyr45]

Your posts are cute. Really big, detailed and suspenseful, yet at the heart of the matter, it's just a really simple answer/solution! I guess I like high school-aged problems now that I'm 6+ years out of it. I still remember my days vividly, but after college and some real world, these problems seem so so simple now.

 

Anyway.

 

Go you on making the move - I think you did that perfectly. Invite him along with a friend of yours but grab some alone time together, then exchanging contact info, blah blah - perfect!

 

Disregarding the recent lack of IMing, he DEFINITELY has some amount of feelings for you. Your instincts are right, don't let a small road bump threaten to change your impression completely. You need more evidence that suggest he isn't into you before we can be sure that's true, and not responding to you online isn't enough, yet.

 

So... lets get this straight.

 

You IMed him once since when he was away and he never responded, and you never tried again - right? How many days has it been since this and/or how many times (or for how long) have you two been online (not away) together since this? He could have very well lost your message while he was away which sets the score to 0 - neither of you have initiated anything. And he initiated the IM last when he got back from vacation, and you are usually set to Away. There's a fair chance he's thinking it's "your turn" still and wondering the same thing you are - do they like me... i thought they did?!

 

Wait until you see him online and not away. Then IM him again. If for some reason he is just always away, IM him that requires some sort of response. Not "hey" but something like a question, maybe. It will be a little more incentive for him to reply when he reads it. Also, it wouldn't hurt to make sure he knows that IMing you when you are away is still invited. Certainly an away message wouldn't keep me away from someone I was interested in, but I would hold off on it for a bit while I waited for a chance to catch them present. Maybe he's waiting for that and just hasn't caught you yet?

[daddyslilqt3]

Curt, Zephyr45, and everyone from the last post thank you guys soooo much for giving me your advice... you guys made me feel so much better about the whole thing. I feel like you are all right and I am just going to follow what you guys said. I i/med him with a question so it shows that I am i/ming him this time and now I am going to just give him space to decide if he wants to take the step to talk to me again. You guys are great!! This was the first time I ever took any kind of initiative and i figure since this is going to be my last year of high school I can't make that much of a fool of myself. I might as well go for what I want subtly. I mean i'd never be one of those aggressive girls but even if I get nothing out of this... I learned it is ok to ask a guy to hang out or something. It honestly isn't as bad as I thought it would be. So thank you to everyone from both posts!!!

 

So Last night I decided to i/m him his away was on like always and mine had been on but I decided that I would just give it a shot. So while he was away I was looking at his profile. I figured I'd say hey and then ask him a question about something it said. So I did.

 

He was away but wrote me back and we talked for like 2 minutes. Then he said he had to go but would be back in 10 minutes if I wanted to talk. i said ok and told him to i/m me when he got back and he said ok. It was late but I didn't want to just sign off without talking to him.

 

He came back like he said and i/med me and said "hey listen sorry but I am gonna go. I'm really tired and I am gonna go to sleep." I just said ok I'll ttys and stayed on for a little longer so it didn't look like I was just waiting for him because that would seem stalkerish lol... and I soooo don't want to seem like I am that way.

 

So Zephyr45 I did what you said and i guess we'll see if he i/ms me again. I mean it was still nice of him to i/m me to say he was gonna go instead of making me wait. I guess that could mean something but I probably shouldn't look into it too much. Atleast he knows now it is one-one. He i/med me when he got home from vacation and I i/med him last night. So everyone this my question should I just wait and see if he i/ms me? And if he doesn't then I should just move on right?

[Zephyr45]

Good work! Very nice job IMO by asking him a question about his profile. That was another subtle way to show youre interested (in case he had any doubt) without being too stalkerish.

 

It's not a good sign that he didn't attempt to chat with you for at least a bit, but it's not a nail in the coffin either. I'd say you still have at least another freebie IM attempt to send his way before looking too pushy/desperate. So give him a little time to respond to you, but if he doesn't, give it one last shot (at least).

 

But.

 

I'm thinking in the next few days you might want to suddenly find yourself with a friend or two at this restaurant that he works at. I get the impression you are there a lot. See how he reacts to seeing you in person again and whether his attitude towards you has changed. Strike up a conversation and take it from there.

 

After all that you should have a pretty good idea if you need to let him go or push more.

 

-----

 

Side note: This is kinda funny because your situation may be a lot like one I was in something like 7 years ago. It depends on your guy though, and the degree to which he (dis)likes you and for what reasons (as to whether it's like my story). Anyway, when I was a Junior this girl started chasing after me. We weren't really friends at school, but we worked at the same company on the weekends and had a few mutual friends. She started IMing me a few times, showing up while I was working, etc. etc. making it unbelievably obvious she had a total crush on me - everyone knew it. I thought it was sooo cute, but I was partly interested in chasing after a differnt girl on my own and not so sure I liked her, so I kinda blew her off. And it was such a mistake (I was just a dork and didn't know how to handle the situation. In hindsight, I should have at least tried a date or two with her to see if anything came out of it). We became friends and hung out and talked here and there, even through college and thereafter. Sometimes a year might go by with no communication but we would always find a way and catch up and start IMing each other or hanging out here and there as friends (one of us always seemed to be in a relationship or not interested at the time which kept us just-friends the whole time).

 

Long story short (well, I guess I told most of it lol) - We're going on a date this weekend! It may be 7 freaking years late, but better late than never! And if she hadn't persued me way back then we probably wouldn't have become friends and this weekend would never have been possible. Taking charge as the girl pays off. Hopefully your payoff comes sooner than 7 years though, lol!

[Curt]

Originally posted by Zephyr45

Good work! Very nice job IMO by asking him a question about his profile. That was another subtle way to show youre interested (in case he had any doubt) without being too stalkerish.

I agree 100% with Zephyr here, daddyslilqt3.

It's not a good sign that he didn't attempt to chat with you for at least a bit, but it's not a nail in the coffin either. I'd say you still have at least another freebie IM attempt to send his way before looking too pushy/desperate. So give him a little time to respond to you, but if he doesn't, give it one last shot (at least).

Yeah, it doesn't seem all that promising, but like Zephyr implied, you never know. I have to admit though hunn, I think the ball is firmly in his court now. You've gone the distance for him. I think it's time for him to show his cards one way or the other. He's either on the same page, or he's not interested. Couple days more, and if he doesn't show his hand, move on to the next contestant. From what you've said here, I think you're gonna be a great catch for some lucky guy.

I'm thinking in the next few days you might want to suddenly find yourself with a friend or two at this restaurant that he works at. I get the impression you are there a lot. See how he reacts to seeing you in person again and whether his attitude towards you has changed. Strike up a conversation and take it from there.

 

After all that you should have a pretty good idea if you need to let him go or push more.

You could certainly do what Zephyr suggests here, but only go if it's a normal thing for you and your friend(s) to do. I'm not entirely sure I'd bother, but yeah, if in a few days you do this, you should get a fairly good read on things.

 

All the best, sweetie.

 

Curt

[EIN]

skip the ims and get on the phone. People can edit what they write on ims but on the phone, its harder and its better to get the feel out more.