3 moths after the BU I am still feeling horrible

[Eumon]

It’s 3 months today since the Break up and I am still in a black hole. I thought that it would get better at this point, but I miss him so much. I wake up in the night crying, I am overwhelmed by memories and I cannot seem to find my place.

 

I keep thinking about him all day long, I just cannot accept that someone who loved you so much can throw away everything you built together. He has not tried to contact me at all. I have not tried to ask him to come back either. It just hurts beyond belief that he does not care about me anymore. I honestly thought that if some time passes he will come back and try to reconcile, but it really does not seem that way. He just cut me off completely.

 

I feel that I will never be happy again and I just hope that he will come back.

[d0nnivain]

It will get better even though it doesn't feel like it. Grief takes time & it will take as long as it takes.

 

 

Do things to self soothe & spend time with supportive friends & family.

[Gaeta]

Of course it still hurts after 3 months, you were together 10 years. That is a very long time. You are looking at maybe 2 years to fully getting back on your feet. Till then you don't have to be alone. If you cannot function please go see your doctor. You don't want to fall in a depression, you may need temporary anti-depressant or/and the help of a psychologist.

 

Be brave it will get better, it always does.

[Eumon]

I wasn't expecting to fully recover by now, but I really feel the full force of not having him with me anymore. It just completely breaks my heart and the fact that he just does not care about me makes it harder.

 

You know the worst part, that even after all the hell he has put me through, that he has left me without a place to live and I have been essentially moving around London for the past 3 months to find a suitable place I am still hoping for him to come back to me and I would probably take him back without much hesitation.

 

I go to work, meet with friends, but I feel so alone and plus my whole life is upside down. All my friends are in couples and we were a tight group all of us together (including my ex), but they all moved on, bought houses etc, I thought that we are on our way to do this as well... That makes it all the harder, because everyone around me has got their life sorted out and they cannot be around me all the time.

 

The every day life without him is very painful.

[d0nnivain]

You had a lot of changes not just the loss of the relationship. Your home was taken from you & you don't have a stable place yet. Get that straightened out & you will start to feel better. Feeling adrift isn't helping.

[Eumon]

That's true. It has been so stressful and lonely that I am surprised that I managed to keep my job.

 

I still feel very guilty about everything that I have done wrong in the relationship and I just wish that I could fix all of that, especially the last argument on our holiday.

 

I keep reading about stories of getting back together, hoping for him to change his mind and planning how to get him back. I guess everybody goes through those stages. I am just really hoping that he will see, what life is like without me and maybe come back.