SoleMate Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 My mother died yesterday, quite unexpectedly. The exact time is not known as she was alone. She had a serious chronic lung illness but seemed fine on Tuesday, though struggling with a persistent cold. When she wasn't answering calls on Wednesday we requested a welfare check and her body was found by a sheriff's deputy. She was 79. I spent a week with her at Christmas time and am so glad I did. That was the last time we saw each other. I called her on New Year's Day and that was the last time we spoke. I can't even remember what we talked about. This hurts so much more than I expected. We've had our ups and downs and little annoyances aplenty, yet we loved each other and said so frequently, especially these last years. The shock of realizing again and again and again that everything that she was, and her warmth and good heart and good thoughts, have just been flicked off like a light switch just leaves me limp and numb and whimpering. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 I'm very sorry, Sole. Please accept my condolences. I'm so glad you got to spend Christmas with her. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 I am so sorry, Sole. Losing a parent so unexpectedly is very difficult. I lost my father unexpectedly, and, like you, can't even remember our last words. We had a good day so it was probably "I love you" but it's hard not to remember . I'll pray for you today that as you remember your mom in the coming days, weeks, and months, that the pain will lessen and be replaced with memories that only make you smile. Big virtual hugs from me to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 So sorry to hear that, Sole. Many, many hugs to you and fam. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 My deepest condolences. The 7th anniversary of my mother's passing is coming up next week & it still hurts. Know her suffering is over. Be thankful for the Christmas you had together. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Big hugs... I'm so sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 ((((HUGS)))))! It's so hard losing your mother. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 I'm very sorry. Sending you my deepest condolences. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 I'm so sorry. People kind of expect to go through the death of their parents at some point but that doesn't make it any less painful and heartbreaking when it actually happens. Sending hugs your way. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 SoleMate, My sympathies to you, your family and your mom's friends and loved ones; and wishing your mom a peaceful and smooth transition. Link to post Share on other sites
gone_girl Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 I'm so sorry solemate. It must have been a big shock for you since you didn;t expect it... May you live a good and long life, and always remember her with love and how you two had a special christmas together. Link to post Share on other sites
BarbedFenceRider Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.... God Bless you in this time of need. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 I'm so very sorry. I too, have lost my mother. As someone wisely once said, it is an ache that never goes away... I wish you strength and comfort as you grieve your loss. Best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SoleMate Posted January 12, 2018 Author Share Posted January 12, 2018 Many thanks to all for the kind wishes, they brought tears to my eyes. I know this is a road that so many have travelled before me. How many times have I condoled with a mourner and offered my sympathy for the pain. Yet I see now I had little idea of what I was talking about. Thank you again, this is a good and kind community. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 I am sorry for your loss, Solemate. Hugs xx Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 Sorry Sole, please accept my condoleance, and hope you feel better soon. (((Hugs))) Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 I know how this feels...you will feel better eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 i'm so sorry for your loss SM, remember that she will be with you always Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 Hi Solemate... I'm sorry for your loss, my condolences to you and your family. They always live on in our memories.. ***Hugz*** Link to post Share on other sites
NHope Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 My mother died yesterday, quite unexpectedly. The exact time is not known as she was alone. She had a serious chronic lung illness but seemed fine on Tuesday, though struggling with a persistent cold. When she wasn't answering calls on Wednesday we requested a welfare check and her body was found by a sheriff's deputy. She was 79. I spent a week with her at Christmas time and am so glad I did. That was the last time we saw each other. I called her on New Year's Day and that was the last time we spoke. I can't even remember what we talked about. This hurts so much more than I expected. We've had our ups and downs and little annoyances aplenty, yet we loved each other and said so frequently, especially these last years. The shock of realizing again and again and again that everything that she was, and her warmth and good heart and good thoughts, have just been flicked off like a light switch just leaves me limp and numb and whimpering. I'm so sorry for your loss. My mom is still with me but I lost my Dad when I was 14. It's not really something that you ever get over, but the pain does lessen. I'm so glad you got to spend Christmas with her too. That's a memory you will always cherish. Just continue to remember the good things about her and share stories with others who knew her. It really helps me a lot to hear others stories about my dad. You are in my prayers. Keep hope. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) im sorry sole theres no words that can be said to ease your pain if i knew any i would so say them to you. I can tell you a story though....one of my grandpas died when i was young i have since lost them all ...all my grandparents but what happened when i was young has always stayed with me and eased the pain my grandpa on the night he died came to me in a dream and told me that he had to go now, he told me not to be sad.....and that he would see me soon and not to worry in his last days he was a very ill man he was skeletal, and had lost all his hair he had quadrants drawn on his head in red pen type thing.....it was a part of brain tumor treatment anyway i can still picture him this way.....but when he came to me in my dream he had already died and he was restored sole he was better, his smile was radiant he had this light surrounding him and he wasn't in pain anymore....full head of dark hair....when i awoke int he morning and went out into the loungeroom my parents said they had something to tell me and that's when i said i know grandpa died he came to me last night and told me he had to go...mum still remembers .....i was close to my grandpa and i didnt cry......if he hadnt come to me in my dream i would have been devastated.... angels disease finally took my grandpa and the pain he was in and the cancer, what he had coursing through his body made angels disease a blessing.... angels took your mum they were with her when she passed as were her family her mum...the very people she grieved for...your mum all through her life has had the same pain as you do now... now she knows ...that she does get to be with them again she lost her precious mum now she found her again...your passed over family have guided her to a place of beauty and rest..surrounded by the loved ones she has lost...... believe me when i say you will see her again..... i cannot say or write the words to ease your pain now.....but i hope my story has allowed you to feel hope. your mums thoughts ways and beauty is restored in a physical sense she is stronger than she has been in a very long time she still exists to be.....she will watch over you.....just behind a veil..my grandpa looked so handsome again in my dream...smilin...i know without a doubt and full of pure belief ...we see our loved ones again........hugs...and if you dont like hugs ....warm cheek pats from me to you..xoxoxo...deb Edited January 13, 2018 by todreaminblue 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SoleMate Posted January 13, 2018 Author Share Posted January 13, 2018 Thank you so much Deb, for your beautiful and comforting thoughts. I hope that her loved ones are there to guide her and you’re right, she has felt that pain in her own time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 I'm sorry for your loss Soulmate. Sending you hugs and condolences. Link to post Share on other sites
Steve51 Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 I feel for you since my dad died right before xmas at the ripe age of 90. He was fine one day and the next he was not. We put him in the hospital since he showed signs of dementia. The next day we were told that he died that night. The night before he was to go to a nursing home which he said he never wanted to go to. His mother died the same way. Fiercely independent into her 90s, she died the night before she was to move to a nursing home. I still do not know how I feel about the death of my father. He was a great father who bought me things I needed and encouraged me to play sports while driving me to practice and attending all my games. Not one bad memory. Yet he never showed emotion or told me that he loved me. He was old school and hid his emotions. So when he died I really did not feel any emotions. He had a long life and at the end he was tired of living alone and not being able to take proper care of himself. I did shed a few tears when I was writing about him in another post but then again I am my father's son who hides his emotions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 My condolences, SoleMate, to you and your family ,on the loss of your Mother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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