CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 The hair things always cracks me up. Always at the top of any thread when he's trying to figure it all out after studying every net lists ever invented. She wants to marry me, she touched her hair, yippiiiii. Ahh , every women you talk to or look at touches her hair, hell my sister touches he hair non stop, so does my grandmother. So does my business partner and chicks serving you in shops and the female dog next door. l must be hot right :bunny:. Haha, me too! And, I was literally twirling my hair when I opened this thread. I'm sitting here, alone with my dog, bleary-eyed from lack of sleep, sipping my morning coffee. Not trying to pick up anybody, I assure you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) Simply walking into Mordor is hard, but dating is even harder! (for some people...) Face it, rejection sucks and if you're like 99% of the male population who isn't the reincarnation of a Greek God or super famous where women are literally throwing themselves at you, chances are you're going to get rejected . Which is why i'm going to be teaching you allz, how to tell if a woman isn't interested because let's face it, rejection sucks and I don't want you to be wasting your time! <snip> What do you mean she's not interested? She actually communicates with me in person and electronically. So it's only short answers. Give up on her? She's the only that does not have me blocked. Your crazy of you think I am going to give up on my only shot. I got a shot to maybe wear her down one day. Why would I quit on being with her after all the effort I have put in over the last year? Are you crazy? You should think twice before you give out free advice. I guess this is why they say that advice is only worth what you pay for it. Edited January 13, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author GuitarGuy7 Posted January 13, 2018 Author Share Posted January 13, 2018 31. She simply tells you she is not interested. Kinda shocking how many refuse to believe it even when it comes from the mare's mouth! There was a recent thread on LS where the jilted man insisted the exGF was wrong, and that she did indeed still want him, as if he knew better than she did what was in her own head. Yeah but the problem is that women are rarely direct. Most women arne't going to say your face or text you "sorry i'm not interested". I would know, iv'e asked out several women and assuming they didn't have boyfriends, the most common response was "too busy" or just flat out ignore you. Most women are going to reject you indirectly and I think there's a reason for this. Many women are trained to be polite and to be nice, so they don't want to hurt you by rejecting you but the ironic thing is that you're hurting someone even more by leading them on. Other times it's because out of fear of the guy not taking it very well and turning angry or violent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Yeah but the problem is that women are rarely direct. I've had 4 women ask me out in the last 2 months, that's pretty direct 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) Your being way too negative guitar, That alone would really work against you , not a good vibe. For a start it's only natural he or she tries to be tactful if they aren't interested. l'd be the same with a women, but yeah , in trying to be tactful does also get a bit confusing sometimes, see it all over the forum girls and guys a bit confused about someone. But don't forget too , that sometimes , we simply just aren't sure for awhile either, it's easy to be stuck midway about someone. But that 98% or whatever it was, also way too negative. l'd actually say more 70 or 80 of guys l see around no matter what they look like are partnered or married off. And don't forget that percentage in any looks thing is about the same in male or female, we can't all be models. But again too, both males or females right across the board no matter what they look like all have about the same amount or pros and cons and luck in this stuff. Just look around in the forum or real life. between the lines. There's plenty of women here starting up threads exactly like this one. Or look at alpha , do you think he'd have 4 women ask him out if it was that easy for them too ? they wouldn't be asking. You see 100s of women through the forum needing to ask the guy. Since l've been single l've met dozens of women that can't find someone. Most of this shyt goes both ways you'll find, in the long run. Might look easier on the surface in one way , but sure as , the karma bus comes around for either in the end, in another way. Edited January 13, 2018 by Chilli 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Yeah but the problem is that women are rarely direct. Most women arne't going to say your face or text you "sorry i'm not interested". I would know, iv'e asked out several women and assuming they didn't have boyfriends, the most common response was "too busy" or just flat out ignore you. Most women are going to reject you indirectly and I think there's a reason for this. Many women are trained to be polite and to be nice, so they don't want to hurt you by rejecting you but the ironic thing is that you're hurting someone even more by leading them on. Other times it's because out of fear of the guy not taking it very well and turning angry or violent. Ignoring a person's date request or saying "too busy" is very direct. It's not like they are giving you ideas that you'll have another chance. Women are not obliged to give a true reason for not wanting to date you. Especially so when we're talking about women who don't/barely know you. I'm also interested in what you see as being 'led on'. For the record, playing with hair, eye contact, body positioning, listening 100%, etc does not necessarily mean that she's interested in romance. In contrast, my eye contact is rubbish, but it doesn't mean that I'm not interested. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Just about every guy I go out with complains I walked too fast and one asked if I was trying to lose him. I’m not sure if I agree that means disnterest because I Wouldn’t say I was not interested in them at that time. I guess I just walked faster than these guys. I think guys just walk super slow so they can check out your butt Haha , your onto us , damn 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 I call these guys who still go for that woman who isn't interested in him "Guys who love bad girls". Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Yeah but the problem is that women are rarely direct. Most women arne't going to say your face or text you "sorry i'm not interested". I would know, iv'e asked out several women and assuming they didn't have boyfriends, the most common response was "too busy" or just flat out ignore you. Most women are going to reject you indirectly and I think there's a reason for this. Many women are trained to be polite and to be nice, so they don't want to hurt you by rejecting you but the ironic thing is that you're hurting someone even more by leading them on. Other times it's because out of fear of the guy not taking it very well and turning angry or violent. Men need to learn how to read between the lines. Whatever is women's reasons for being indirect in letting us down easy does not matter. A man should realize that after the first time you ask a woman out and you get a no. You ask one more time. If after that second time you go NC and find your next target. Man: would you like to go on a date Saturday Woman: I am _________(insert any excuse), chances she does not see you as boyfriend material. Woman: I would like to but I can't this Saturday, this indicates that she can be making an excuse but can truly not be free this Saturday. So the man should reach out Wednesday next week to ask out for that coming Saturday. She gives another excuse then go NC with this one this as well. This is common knowledge. The problem is that people tend to ignore it for it does not apply to them. Though I will say that if women are vague, they have to realize that they can be direct and kind at the same time. Such as: I'm sorry I have a boyfriend. No thank you (said with compassion). Sorry I do not feel a romantic connection between us. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Woman: I would like to but I can't this Saturday, this indicates that she can be making an excuse but can truly not be free this Saturday. So the man should reach out Wednesday next week to ask out for that coming Saturday. She gives another excuse then go NC with this one this as well. This is common knowledge. The problem is that people tend to ignore it for it does not apply to them. I agree. Back in the day, I would respond with "I can't do Saturday, but how about Sunday lunch?" If a person doesn't offer an alternative time, they aren't interested. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Ignoring a person's date request or saying "too busy" is very direct. It's not like they are giving you ideas that you'll have another chance. Women are not obliged to give a true reason for not wanting to date you. Especially so when we're talking about women who don't/barely know you. I'm also interested in what you see as being 'led on'. For the record, playing with hair, eye contact, body positioning, listening 100%, etc does not necessarily mean that she's interested in romance. In contrast, my eye contact is rubbish, but it doesn't mean that I'm not interested. Perhaps to a woman, but not to a guy. Men are very yes/no, in/out, I/O creatures. We do not do well with non-absolutes or grey areas. What you perceive as direct is often not clear to most men unless you've learned about womens' indirectness. And it is more hurtful to guys, most men would rather hear a "No" than be led on by "I'm busy this weekend, maybe another time". Road nailed it again, you can reject AND be compassionate about it. I fully appreciate when a woman is direct. Best rejection I ever got was "No thank you". Excellent, message clear and no more time wasted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 And it's funny but the girls ask for the same thing or next minute he's not man enough to say it how it is or some shyt. But l must admit , l have trouble saying no too.l kinda feel flattered so l don't wanna , well l dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Perhaps to a woman, but not to a guy. Men are very yes/no, in/out, I/O creatures. We do not do well with non-absolutes or grey areas. What you perceive as direct is often not clear to most men unless you've learned about womens' indirectness. And it is more hurtful to guys, most men would rather hear a "No" than be led on by "I'm busy this weekend, maybe another time". Road nailed it again, you can reject AND be compassionate about it. I fully appreciate when a woman is direct. Best rejection I ever got was "No thank you". Excellent, message clear and no more time wasted. Except the quote I was responding to was simply "too busy". There was no suggestion of "another time" where I said she was being direct. I guess it comes down to what the circumstance is. If he thinks they have great chemistry and good conversation, you'd probably expect a reasonably nice "no". Compare that to the polar opposite of cold approaching/bothering a woman who doesn't know you exist and based on nothing more than her appearance, then it's reasonable to expect anything upwards from a death stare. Speaking of kind "no" responses.....Some men can be very persistent and we have sometimes be rude to get rid of them. I remember going to a crowded bar a couple of years ago with my BFF. Some guys tried to hit on us. We gave half smiles, shook our heads with a 'no' and kept walking...but they pushed for conversation. We had to get colder and use all negative body language to get rid of them. Honestly, some guys with their pushiness will take anything not overtly rude from us as an opening. Which leaves us having to be rude to get rid of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Ahh yessaa, that stare , ex gf could burn a hole through rock with that one. No one messed with her once they got the look. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Which leaves us having to be rude to get rid of them. I'm pretty (VERY) sure I've never pushed a woman to that point (got close twice in my 20s). But how reluctant would you ladies be to play the 'Just get lost, creep' card? How often has it been necessary? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GuitarGuy7 Posted January 14, 2018 Author Share Posted January 14, 2018 Why do women even say they're too busy? That's like the worst way to reject someone... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Why do women even say they're too busy? That's like the worst way to reject someone... I know...no one is "too busy" Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Some people really are too busy at a particular time - but if she's busy and she likes you she'll try to propose an alternative. Why do women say they're too busy? The same reason they use most brush-off lines: they are trying to say no without insulting the guy. Sure, a sane guy might be able to take "No thanks, I'm not interested" with a calm "Never mind then" and move on to the next case, but so many people refuse to take no for an answer that it makes people afraid to say 'no' plain and simple. Some guys think that they are required to keep pressing and pressing after a no, because that's how you show interest and if you don't show interest you're weak and if you do keep pushing you might impress her with how dedicated you are. These guys aren't necessarily bad people, just annoying. And sometimes their approach works, so they have an incentive to keep trying. But while "I don't want to" is obviously flexible if she changes her mind, "I'm married" or "I have a prior appointment" is harder to change, so she hopes the deflection will steer things away. Some guys take offense and get really hurt or angry at a rejection, and this can be upsetting, so people try to avoid it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Why do women even say they're too busy? That's like the worst way to reject someone... Because saying "I don't find you appealing enough to go out with" is less circumstantial and more an indictment of your actual capacities as a man, and thus more likely to offend you, making you more likely to denounce, threaten, hurt, and/or kill them, which is an actual thing women have to worry about it. Men worry women will laugh at them, women worry men will kill them. That's why. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 Why do women even say they're too busy? That's like the worst way to reject someone... There have been times when I've been too busy, times when overtime with work has been the priority. Working a 15 hour day isn't conducive to dating - not for me anyway. I've pretty much always just said that I didn't want to date the guy (in a kind way) but I can't even remember the amount of times I've had verbal abuse in return. I've also been attacked physically on 2 occasions for rejecting a guy. Been stalked and followed also. I don't necessarily know 'said guy' very well at all if he asks me out (and have no idea what he might be capable of) and in hindsight I wish I'd just said I had a boyfriend or was too busy on some of the above occasions - it would have been a heck of a lot safer to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GuitarGuy7 Posted April 2, 2019 Author Share Posted April 2, 2019 this is the best thread ever Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 I asked out a woman from gym to lunch at her workplace. She acepted. I told her I had a crush on her at Lunch and then she said she had a husband. Why did she not say that she had a husband before? She had time to do so. Its not like I rushed her or anything like that. I don't get it. I know my friends wives would not go out with another man while being married to my Male friends. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 2, 2019 Share Posted April 2, 2019 Why do women even say they're too busy? That's like the worst way to reject someone... I know...no one is "too busy" Well that is kind of the point "Too busy" is usually code for NO. Most people can fit in a date if they really want to, the operative word being want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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