Can we still be friends?

[Billy the Kid]

My friend is in two relationships at once. Well, he's in two relationships and playing them both. Problem is, the one young lady, whom i've become friends with, I mean really good friends with, I know will be devastated.

 

At first, I really didn't like her, and I told my friend this. But since i've gotten to know her better, I think she has a huge heart and can be a wonderful person at times. I've told my friend that he should give her a chance. I thought I convinced him to do the right thing, but he went on and continues to play the game. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. I talk to this young woman for hours, and even once, when my friend was in another room with another woman i saved his butt, but it really is bothering me. She seems so sincere. Yes she has her insecurity issues, but behind all that, she is definitely a great person, and it took me sometime to realize and believe this.

 

In reality, I have no relationship interest in this young woman, I really only want to be friends with her. Problem is, I've been friends with my friend for like 15 years and I'm not going to rat him out.

 

But I would like to remain friends with this young lady. She definitely would be a good friend. But if my friend breaks the news hard or she finds out, I don't think she'll want to be friends with me anymore?

 

And for another, I really don't want to see her get hurt, she doesn't deserve that?

 

What should I do?

 

Billy the Kid, (we're all in our twenties).

[Tony T]

Relationships are for learning lessons. If we are in one and not learning anything, it is pretty useless.

 

You have probably already learned that if you intervene and rat on your friend, you will most likely lose your friend and this gal will most likely be so hurt (people usually get pissed at the messenger too) she won't want much to do with you either.

 

So the only lesson left is for your lady friend, who needs to be paying a whole lot more attention to this situation. If she had any consciousness about the relationship with your friend, her intuition would tell her she was being jerked around and two-timed. The lesson she must learn is to pay attention.

 

So, by process of elimination we find that your gal friend is the one who needs to learn. Of course, your guy friend will ultimately mature after he learns what kind of pain and hurt he inflicts on people by his behavior. But at his age now, he is selfish and self centered and doesn't really care.

 

So, if I were you, I would back off this friendship with this gal and just let things happen. Just don't see her or talk to her as much. Cool things down gradually so she doesn't notice. Once she get's the boot from your buddy, then she will really need your friendship and you can move back closer to her.

 

As it stands now, you will lose her friendship once she finds out what's going on...unless you back off.

 

It is not your duty to interfere with the lessons that all concerned must learn. But if you do decide to inform her, you will learn the best thing to do is keep thy mouth shut.