Popsicle Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Anyone else feel like they like someone who has a good balance of serious and silly? Someone who has a sense of humor that they exercise regularly but who can also be serious when needed and take care of business? I was thinking about how my ex-H was way too serious. He liked when other people made him laugh but he didn't know how to be silly himself. And I think being silly makes you not take yourself and others and even life so seriously. Then there's my ex-bf who was all silly and no serious. He was silly 24/7 which was fun and a welcomed reprieve from my ex-H, but then I eventually realized that he didn't know when to be serious and take care of business. All he wanted to do was have fun. Gosh, I just want someone who knows how and when to do both. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 14, 2018 Author Share Posted January 14, 2018 I kind of have a crush on a dude right now who is too serious. I can already tell he is way too serious. Why do I have a crush on a dude like that? I know how it turns out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Because ya a glutton for punishment 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Definitely! Hubby has a balance of serious and silly. We can have good conversations and then crack each other up. It's all good. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 I kind of have a crush on a dude right now who is too serious. I can already tell he is way too serious. Why do I have a crush on a dude like that? I know how it turns out. maybe its your balance you are finding you are balancing out yourself..so you unconsciously feel attracted to a more serious man....to counterbalance the silly side in you...maybe your silly side wants to interact with the hidden silly side in them..i have a theory everyone has silly in them you just have to find the light switch....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Anyone else feel like they like someone who has a good balance of serious and silly? Someone who has a sense of humor that they exercise regularly but who can also be serious when needed and take care of business?. [...] Yes, but that's a very delicate balance, and one that fluctuates or changes with different personas one assumes. I have to be the boss at work, and I'm not even suppressing my inherent silliness enough. Yet colleagues see me as reliable and serious, even though at the end of the day that isn't really me. (This is also why I attract different types of women among my co-workers.) What I'm really trying to say is: The actual balance often doesn't reveal itself until you know somebody better. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 14, 2018 Author Share Posted January 14, 2018 (edited) Yes, but that's a very delicate balance, and one that fluctuates or changes with different personas one assumes. I have to be the boss at work, and I'm not even suppressing my inherent silliness enough. Yet colleagues see me as reliable and serious, even though at the end of the day that isn't really me. (This is also why I attract different types of women among my co-workers.) What I'm really trying to say is: The actual balance often doesn't reveal itself until you know somebody better. But we're not at work....? When I said "take care of business" I just meant be a responsible/productive person when it's necessary. But now that you mention it, maybe this guy is in his serious work personality all day and can't shake it when he's not at work. Edited January 14, 2018 by Popsicle Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 But we're not at work....? When I said "take care of business" I just meant be a responsible/productive person when it's necessary. But now that you mention it, maybe this guy is in his serious work personality all day and can't shake it when he's not at work. Yes, some people need to get to know you better. I'm not saying that he is serious or not, only that a lot of people may need to warm up to you before showing their silly side. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 14, 2018 Author Share Posted January 14, 2018 (edited) Yes, some people need to get to know you better. I'm not saying that he is serious or not, only that a lot of people may need to warm up to you before showing their silly side. I guess. It's just that my ex-H never "warmed up" after 15 years. So that's the kind of thing I'm afraid of. Edited January 14, 2018 by Popsicle 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 I guess. It's just that my ex-H never "warmed up" after 15 years. So that's kind of thing I'm afraid of. 15 years would be a long time to warm up. A few dates should be enough to find out, and if you are attracted to him anyhow, it shouldn't be that much of an issue, right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Can’t deal with men who are too serious and they probably can’t deal with me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 You're right in looking for someone with a balance. Someone who is always silly is going to get very annoying. Someone who is always serious is going to get very boring. Stay away from the extremes. An old friend of mine chose two guys who were always silly. One kind of grew out of it, but there was plenty of chaos in the meantime, but the other she had a child with and then he went from silly to shooting himself in the head in front of her and the toddler. There's something wrong with people who are in the extremes like that. This guy who killed himself was a practical joker, inappropriately so. I knew he was a mess when he shot invisible ink (he was in his 30s or maybe even 40s) on my best friend's silk wedding suit at her hometown reception. I mean, how childish and inappropriate. She and I both agreed something was off about him and we were right. My friend, the mother of his now grown child, is still traumatized by it, but she never made good choices. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 You're right in looking for someone with a balance. Someone who is always silly is going to get very annoying. Someone who is always serious is going to get very boring. Stay away from the extremes. An old friend of mine chose two guys who were always silly. One kind of grew out of it, but there was plenty of chaos in the meantime, but the other she had a child with and then he went from silly to shooting himself in the head in front of her and the toddler. There's something wrong with people who are in the extremes like that. This guy who killed himself was a practical joker, inappropriately so. I knew he was a mess when he shot invisible ink (he was in his 30s or maybe even 40s) on my best friend's silk wedding suit at her hometown reception. I mean, how childish and inappropriate. She and I both agreed something was off about him and we were right. My friend, the mother of his now grown child, is still traumatized by it, but she never made good choices. Wow, that’s horrible 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Wow, that’s horrible Yeah. I wasn't around him or hearing all about him enough to know if she had warning signs, but I have to think so. Probably because he was usually lighthearted seeming, she maybe didn't take the dark side seriously or something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted January 14, 2018 Author Share Posted January 14, 2018 You are so right preraph. Either extreme is problematic. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 You are so right preraph. Either extreme is problematic. Watch old couples rolling their eyes behind their spouse's back because they're having to listen to the same thing over and over for decades and you'll quickly see you'd want someone as unrepetitive as possible for the long haul. Someone resiliant, balanced, and still experiencing new things so they don't get stagnant. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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