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Deal breakers? What is yours?


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LOL! Omg, I need to hear these stories.

 

I'll try to keep it short :lmao:

I knew a (grown) man ...who was really into horses. More specifically the show my little pony. Actually I knew several of those guys, but I didn't interact with the others too much. They watched the show, had pony tattoos, pony posters...you name it.

 

He was in a relationship with my at the time close female friend and we sometimes met for double dates or whatever.

 

One day she invited me over to their place and showed me her sexy horse ears and horsetail...I wasn't too bothered until he started expressing the desire to fulfill some of his fantasies with me (they had a poly relationship). He wasn't bad looking but I just couldn't :lmao: Haven't really talked to either of them since.

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did you have a bad experience with a horse when you were a kid?

 

No, not at all. Just look into what effort it takes to take care of a horse and what it costs. I had a coworker leave the firm because she could make more money braiding horses' manes for competitions.

 

There honestly is no end on how much you can spend on that hobby, and I know few hobbies where people are as much emotionally invested.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
No, not at all. Just look into what effort it takes to take care of a horse and what it costs. I had a coworker leave the firm because she could make more money braiding horses' manes for competitions.

 

There honestly is no end on how much you can spend on that hobby, and I know few hobbies where people are as much emotionally invested.

 

Yep. I have a friend who does this. She travels around the country braiding for horse shows (and often getting treated like crap by the rich horse owners).

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littleblackheart

Lacks intellectual curiosity or chooses to ignore what's going on around the world

Close-minded

Bigoted

Casual racist

Judgemental

 

(For anyone, not just dates)

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No, not at all. Just look into what effort it takes to take care of a horse and what it costs. I had a coworker leave the firm because she could make more money braiding horses' manes for competitions.

 

There honestly is no end on how much you can spend on that hobby, and I know few hobbies where people are as much emotionally invested.

 

yeah I have an old school friend who is into horses and all that. she's always posting on FB about anything to do with her hobby. but she's rich so she has to spend her $$ somewhere I guess.

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So rude. I can't believe someone would do that on a date.

 

I had an instance once where I was having dinner with a woman (we were having pizza) and she kept checking her phone, so I tested her to see how engaged she was in the conversation ... I secretly had my phone under the table and had a text ready to send to her that just said "mmmm...pizza." I started to talk about some things I thought were really interesting and personal, and in the middle of it all, I sent her the text. She IMMEDIATELY stopped paying attention to the conversation and grabbed her phone to look at it. That was our last date.

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littleblackheart
I didn't realize there were different flavors

 

Easy-to-spot racism = I hate Blacks / Mexicans / Middle-Easrterns

 

Casual racism = I'm not racist, but...

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I had an instance once where I was having dinner with a woman (we were having pizza) and she kept checking her phone, so I tested her to see how engaged she was in the conversation ... I secretly had my phone under the table and had a text ready to send to her that just said "mmmm...pizza." I started to talk about some things I thought were really interesting and personal, and in the middle of it all, I sent her the text. She IMMEDIATELY stopped paying attention to the conversation and grabbed her phone to look at it. That was our last date.

 

:eek::lmao::eek::lmao: Buuuuurrrrrn!

 

That's awesome.

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Several things irk me, but a few are dealbreakers.

 

Disrespect. Talking or behaving disrespectfully toward me or others. All of my relationships have ended due to some form of disrespect. It’s a line in the sand issue that I refuse to tolerate.

 

Untrustworthiness. Lying, deceit, or sneakiness. Reveals secrets, private or personal information. Unreliable. Can’t deal with a woman I can’t trust.

 

Abusers. Any form of abuse. Verbal abuse. Physical abuse. Substance abuse. Anyone who abuses themselves (cutters, etc.). Anyone who abuses animals. Anyone who uses their money or status to mistreat others. These folks get the quick ax from me.

 

Cleanness and neatness. Any woman whose house or car is unclean has got to go. If you don’t clean your house, then you probably don’t wash your ass good. I can’t deal. Sets my OCD off anyway. Need someone who is clean, neat, and tidy. Someone who doesn’t care about their appearance probably fits here as well.

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somanymistakes

Smoking. I can handle it in a friend who's polite about it, but not in a romantic partner.

Various flavors of religious/political disagreements

No imagination

Inflexible - the sort who won't even consider that there might be two sides or different ways to do things

Too authoritarian to kids - if you want your kids to call you Sir at all times and you insist on the right to 'whup' them, I'm out.

 

But lots of things people here have considered deal-breakers are things I would think of as positives. If a guy is willing to put on a dress for cosplay, I consider that a good sign that he's not too inflexible :D

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[...]

 

But lots of things people here have considered deal-breakers are things I would think of as positives. If a guy is willing to put on a dress for cosplay, I consider that a good sign that he's not too inflexible :D

 

A gf of mine once requested a private Frank Furter (Rocky Horror) impersonation. I obliged, song an dance included. My hair was pretty wild back then, I didn't even need a wig. :p

 

Yeah, can't that that stuff too seriously.

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You’ve met guys who ddidn’t like to travel abroad?? What were their reasons?

 

HATE flying AND the airport security thing. (Don't have a good comparison. FWIW I've had a root canal. The anesthesia worked fine. No pain at all. I don't know what the big deal is.) Just sayin'

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I have been thinking a fair bit about deal breakers. It got me to thinking, I wonder what others see as a deal breaker. Particularly the more rare deal breakers.

 

Personally mine are pretty boring. I have one that might be uniquish. I don’t date people who maintain contact with ex flings/boyfriends/romantic interests. Ex husbands are ok if it is just about kids.

 

So, any other interesting deal breakers out there?

 

1) Monkey branchers are eliminated by default. This is a personality disorder that I can’t tolerate.

 

2) Goofy dudes slapping pics on social media, being middle aged but operating in ‘gangs’ of friends. Any sign of immaturity is a deal breaker.

 

3) Any type of criminal history, no matter how small or how long ago. Follow the rules.

 

4) Irresponsible with money or deadlines. Putting ‘play’ above ‘work’

 

5) Dumb. Someone that has nothing to talk about.

 

6) Overly affectionate - the silly kind.

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No car/job.

I don't date anyone fresh out of divorce or long term relationships. I learned that the hard way.

Long distance.

Opposite schedules. I would never see a man working nights while I work days. Pointless. (there might be exceptions made if say weekends are free or what have you).

Shorter than me... Sorry just not attracted at all if a man is shorter than I am.

Wants kids - I can't have them so that's an obvious one for me.

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- Smokers

- Drug addicts (although irregular recreational use is OK)

- Anyone who demands me to change my lifestyle without a very convincing reason for me to change

- Is racist, sexist or homophobic

- Takes my money to buy luxuries we don't need.*

- Is overly clingy.

- Dislikes travel

 

*Of course, she can go to town with her own money. It's hers after all - as long as the bills are paid!

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When I was single and dating my deal-breakers were (in no particular order);

 

Character/Belief system

 

History of cheating/dishonestIrresponsible/entitlement issues/unreliable/immature/anger management issues

 

Mean/spiteful/manipulative/moody

 

Poor money management (Not "tight, but not throwing it around like a man with no arms, either - there's a middle ground somewhere :))

 

Poor work ethic/unemployed

 

Uneducated/stupid

 

No conversation (probably goes with the previous one)

 

Left wing

 

Doesn't like pets/animals

 

Can't cook (I don't expect Cordon Bleu, but at least they should be able to boil an egg)

 

Non Christian ( I could accept Sikh, Buddist or Hindu, but other non-Christian groups invariably want you to convert)

 

Young dependent children

 

Junk and fast food junkie

 

Any substance abuse

 

Criminal conviction

 

 

Appearance

 

Body piercings/tatsObesePoor hygiene/groomingNunty clothes

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I'm not going to go back over all these posts. But notable to me by apparent omission is one of my main deal breakers:

 

Weight

 

I've posted elsewhere that long ago I saw a TV docu that concluded the number one physical characteristic a man is looking at in a woman (not necessarily all men of course) is waist to hip ratio. To me, if a woman doesn't have a noticeably narrow waist, she doesn't look female. Extra points for the female version of a six-pack ('two-packs' are great). No, I'm not looking for a Victoria's Secret model (though I'd date one in the vanishingly unlikely/impossible event she was interested in me). But ladies, look like a woman, not the teddy bear you were before puberty. I know I risk castigation for posting this. But I'm being honest and will take the heat.

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somanymistakes

Your taste is your taste, it's fine to state that you have preferences, the only annoying part is if you try to make your preferences sound universal, which you mostly tried not to :)

 

For that matter, some heavy ladies still have very feminine waist-to-hip ratios, it depends on how they carry it, apple or pear. If what you mean is 'thin' rather than 'waist to hip', you're better off just saying 'thin'. Some thin girls have no butt padding and when it comes to waist-to-hip ratio, they just don't rank at all. And SOME guys find that incredibly offputting and think it makes those women look like boys (I've read webpages by men ranting about how the fashion industry is trying to turn men gay (?!) by promoting all these 'unfeminine' figures) whereas SOME guys are totally into the tall-and-straight-thin look.

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I don't think i could ever be interested in someone who:

 

- treats others badly, is rude to restaurant staff or others who work in the service industry

 

- struts around like they are the cock of the walk

 

-someone who sees all the bad things in their life as being someone elses fault

 

- someone who treats anyone or anything weaker than they are badly

 

-a sport hunter/fisher who shows no respect for the animal they kill( hunting/ fishing for food or one thing, hunting for trophies or spot is another)

 

- someone who is obsessed with the superficial things

 

-someone who couldn't enjoy simple things like sitting on a quiet beach

 

- someone who enjoys playing rap or other music that's full of four letter words at full blast...I'm not a fan or swearing

 

-someone who doesn't like ( or at least tolerate) pet birds

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