Blade96 Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 My mom's brother's wife does whatever she wants regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. I have LOTS of stories of that, why I don't like her. But my own personal problem with her that affects me personally is that she won't call me by my right name, just the short form of it, which I HATED since I was about 8 or 9 (I'm 39) so for decades I've asked her to call me my right name, not a short form, and her answer always is "I always called you that and I'm gonna keep calling you that!" No respect for me at all. What would you guys do in this situation? Cut contact? Just ignore it? Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 You’re 39 years old, Pam. Don’t sweat the small stuff. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
igotoverit Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 You’re 39 years old, Pam. Don’t sweat the small stuff. She's your uncle's wife .. who cares Your not a child immediately affected by a parent figure so the fact this bothers you is beyond me, I don't have any tight bond with an uncle though. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Start calling her "Petina". #justjack 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Don't acknowledge her... If she says something like "Hey (short form of your name) how are you doing?" I would just continue to walk past her and ignore her until she called you by the correct version of your name. Personally, I legal changed my name (many years ago) and I refuse to answer to my old name in any way, shape of form. If a family member uses my old name, I ignore them, when they correct themselves and address me by the correct name, then and only then, do I acknowledge them and answer their question. Will it be a huge loss if you don't communicate with her during these family functions?? She'll learn that you are an adult and want to be called by your adult name. Just my opinion, based on my own experiences. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 You've already discovered you can't control what she does, so do the only thing you can do....control how you react to it. There are much bigger things in life to be worried about in my opinion. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blade96 Posted January 17, 2018 Author Share Posted January 17, 2018 Don't acknowledge her... If she says something like "Hey (short form of your name) how are you doing?" I would just continue to walk past her and ignore her until she called you by the correct version of your name. Personally, I legal changed my name (many years ago) and I refuse to answer to my old name in any way, shape of form. If a family member uses my old name, I ignore them, when they correct themselves and address me by the correct name, then and only then, do I acknowledge them and answer their question. Will it be a huge loss if you don't communicate with her during these family functions?? She'll learn that you are an adult and want to be called by your adult name. Just my opinion, based on my own experiences. Not really a huge loss, I basically stopped going out there so I don't have to see or talk to her. And then for christmas she wanted to give me a gift! Hell to the NOPE. You disrespect my likes and my wishes for 30 years and you want to give me gifts?? She stuck it with my mom anyway. I tossed it in garbage. And my mom gets mad at ME. Not her who disregards my wishes for 30 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Not really a huge loss, I basically stopped going out there so I don't have to see or talk to her. And then for christmas she wanted to give me a gift! Hell to the NOPE. You disrespect my likes and my wishes for 30 years and you want to give me gifts?? She stuck it with my mom anyway. I tossed it in garbage. And my mom gets mad at ME. Not her who disregards my wishes for 30 years. Our name is the one true thing we own... You are not asking her for a kidney, just use your correct name. I might have donated the gift to Goodwill, instead of throwing it in the garbage. But all in all, I'm in agreement that I would not have accepted it or acknowledged her gift. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I have one of those names that has a few nicknames. One of them I despise. I had a professor in college who insisted on calling me that. After I corrected him a few times I started calling him by the similar version of his first name. It's not my name but to illustrate the point assume my name was Susannah; he called me Suzi even though I preferred to be called Anna. The professor's name was Johnathan Q. Public, PhD. So instead of calling him Prof Public I started calling him Johnny. He roared & bellowed & screamed My name is Dr. Public. I smiled & said my name is Anna, Johnny. As soon as a brilliant professor like you can manage to get my name right, I'm positive I'll be able to learn from your example & get your name right. He never called me Suzi again. Try that but otherwise don't respond at all when she uses the wrong name. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 My mom's brother's wife does whatever she wants regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. I have LOTS of stories of that, why I don't like her. But my own personal problem with her that affects me personally is that she won't call me by my right name, just the short form of it, which I HATED since I was about 8 or 9 (I'm 39) so for decades I've asked her to call me my right name, not a short form, and her answer always is "I always called you that and I'm gonna keep calling you that!" No respect for me at all. What would you guys do in this situation? Cut contact? Just ignore it? Make up a name for her and continue to call her that name. Or just ignore it and stop seeing her. Your uncle is your blood uncle, she's your aunt by marriage, so there's no obligation to her! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Is it really that important? I have several versions of my name also. I go by only one, but it really doesnt matter how Im addressed, as long as its not sh&thead or something along those lines. Ive always said call me anything, just dont call me late for dinner. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 This would most certainly go in the "don't sweat the small stuff" folder for me. When it comes to family, I really value harmony and do not rock the boat. But that is just how I roll. I have a name that at times gets mispronounced (changed to the name of a movie character!) - am I a fan of the mispronunciation? No. Do, I make a big deal about it? Never. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 (edited) I second what Donnivain said. Make up a childish name for her. And only use it when she uses yours wrong. Otherwise, not worth getting worked up over someone you can mostly avoid who is a twit. You could just add "Big" to her real name too. "Hey, Big Marie!" My favorite nickname I ever gave anybody was this young strange employee. I called him "Flipper" because he lived in a world full of wonder. A couple years past when we worked together he called me at my parents' house where I didn't live and trying to save my soul through Jesus. Edited January 17, 2018 by preraph 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 You obviously need saving though, Preraph. It’s a shame he wasn’t successful. ? Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 This has been going on a very long time. As they say, you can't teach an old female dog new tricks. Either live with it, ignore her, avoid her, or find something to call her that she won't like. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 Call her D for d bag Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Either call her a stupid nickname or ignore her completely! Walk away as if she said nothing. She is doing this deliberately to annoy and needle you. My mother called her nephew his original name all his life, long after he changed it. I don't know why. She wants to get a reaction out of you--that's her payoff. Plan A---The least thing is to ignore her! The more aggresive approach is to annoy her in return--that's the last resort if plan A doesn't work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Start calling her "Petina". #justjack This. Make up your own name to call her and like Gertrude. When she calls you Anna (example) say "yes Gertrude". She'll get sick of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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