igotoverit Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 (edited) Basement tenant is very conceited. I have lived in my house for two years and a few months a young guy moved in. He is both responsible and a solid stable person to be living downstairs. To be honest I don't think he's attractive but have learned that he does think he is attractive and believes that all women are intimidated by him. I am a friendly person and the other day had meat that was taking room in my freezer which is very full. I was cooking ribs so I didn't want to cook it. I just put it in a bowl, marinated it, and when he came home, gave it to him to be nice. I mean he's a young single guy and I am very old for my age. I am 35 but my mentality feels much older then most people my age. I think he's like 32. anyways, he didn't give me my bowl back and it ticked me off so I wrote a note to him. "please leave me my bowl back as I only gave you the steak to be a kind neighbor" hoping that he gives me my bowl back but doesn't think I like him .. Any takes on this note. It's currently in his mail box. Edited January 19, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator spelling ~T Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Just tell him you want your bowl back. Verbally - to his face - ask for your bowl back. Don't leave notes or beat around the bush. If it's still in his mailbox, he probably didn't see it. Doesn't mean he shouldn't know to give your bowl back. Just means you would be better off asking directly rather than silently steaming. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author igotoverit Posted January 17, 2018 Author Share Posted January 17, 2018 Just tell him you want your bowl back. Verbally - to his face - ask for your bowl back. Don't leave notes or beat around the bush. If it's still in his mailbox, he probably didn't see it. Doesn't mean he shouldn't know to give your bowl back. Just means you would be better off asking directly rather than silently steaming. I put an lol to make it seem funny but then after reading your message, I added to the note "I don't want to bother you by knocking on your door" .. I really feel like you have to be direct with this neighbor and I am using it as an opportunity to show him I don't like him. He thinks that every women likes him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author igotoverit Posted January 17, 2018 Author Share Posted January 17, 2018 and even better.. when he brings the bowl back, I am going to use that opportunity to say to him, that I was confused on how to proceed with this situation since you are a male and I am a female. I don't want my kind actions to lead you to believe I like you. In the past our conversations have given me the impression you are confused by that sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 You're really making this far more complicated than it has to be. Just ask for the dang bowl back. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 If it was my Chelsea FC bowl then `claret` would be imminent. If not then i probably would overlook it. Ask him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author igotoverit Posted January 17, 2018 Author Share Posted January 17, 2018 His high view on his appearance and his entitlement drives me nuts. He has come to my door and asked me for a comb, he has asked me to use my measuring cups and spoons and uses my internet. I think it's been a few days, he should just bring me my bowl back. I am annoyed to be in his presence because we have talked a lot. He is a nice guy and when we run into each other he talks my ear off but it always ends in women being attracted to him. I had a female neighbor stop by to give me some of her garbage tags that she didn't need. She is on a side of the street and in a condo complex that doesn't have the same bilaws that I do. He asked if she noticed him at all. I mean, my neighbor is married. He thought he caught her looking at him!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 His high view on his appearance and his entitlement drives me nuts. He has come to my door and asked me for a comb, he has asked me to use my measuring cups and spoons and uses my internet. I think it's been a few days, he should just bring me my bowl back. I am annoyed to be in his presence because we have talked a lot. He is a nice guy and when we run into each other he talks my ear off but it always ends in women being attracted to him. I had a female neighbor stop by to give me some of her garbage tags that she didn't need. She is on a side of the street and in a condo complex that doesn't have the same bilaws that I do. He asked if she noticed him at all. I mean, my neighbor is married. He thought he caught her looking at him!!!! Well this bloke has everyone listening to him and seems to have acquired a nice collection of crockery and internet time. Seems he`s a bit of a head turner.... Or he really knows kitchen husbandry.... Any bloke who can secure cutlery must have something. I only ever dared to borrow sugar. I never dreamed of expanding into cookware. (What a fool i was) 6 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 What does that have to do with getting your bowl back? Are you telling us you really are attracted to him and don’t know how to be in his presence without him knowing you’re attracted? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author igotoverit Posted January 17, 2018 Author Share Posted January 17, 2018 What does that have to do with getting your bowl back? Are you telling us you really are attracted to him and don’t know how to be in his presence without him knowing you’re attracted? I can appreciate that but not at all. Truth be told, there is this guy in my life who has caused some anger towards entitled and conceded men. I am currently on this site and trying to push forward from a situation and it has me feeling kind of gross. I guess I don't like that kind of attention at this time and I don't want him to feel like I am looking at him like that. I honestly don't find him attractive at all.. He is a nice guy but it's very off putting when you are that shallow. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I only ever dared to borrow sugar. I never dreamed of expanding into cookware. (What a fool i was) Can you imagine how different your life may have turned out?? OP, I don't think his high opinion of himself has anything to do with him not returning the bowl yet. He probably just keeps forgetting. I still have a bowl here that my aunt left on Christmas Eve. I have every intention of returning it to her. And, ok, I'm gonna be the jerk who is the grammar Nazi. It's conceited, not conceded. This can be the new thing you learned today . 7 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” You’re emotionally invested in this guy and what he thinks. What he thinks of himself. What he thinks of you. I’ve learned that women who put emotional effort into “disliking” me are really attracted. Those who are truly uninterested in me are indifferent. They don’t care one way or another. They would simply want their bowl back. You, on the other hand, I think you like that cockiness. That confidence. The swagger. You’re just being polite because you think you’re too old and don’t want to be rejected. If he played his cards right, I’m almost certain he can have you. After much protest. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I can appreciate that but not at all. Truth be told, there is this guy in my life who has caused some anger towards entitled and conceded men. I am currently on this site and trying to push forward from a situation and it has me feeling kind of gross. I guess I don't like that kind of attention at this time and I don't want him to feel like I am looking at him like that. I honestly don't find him attractive at all.. He is a nice guy but it's very off putting when you are that shallow. You need to go with indifference, and absolutely avoid trying to demonstrate or say that you're not attracted. "Hey, can I get my bowl back" vs. "I need my bowl back, and we haven't exchanged more than a dozen words in passing but you need to know that I have no plans to marry you". "Conceited". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author igotoverit Posted January 17, 2018 Author Share Posted January 17, 2018 Can you imagine how different your life may have turned out?? OP, I don't think his high opinion of himself has anything to do with him not returning the bowl yet. He probably just keeps forgetting. I still have a bowl here that my aunt left on Christmas Eve. I have every intention of returning it to her. And, ok, I'm gonna be the jerk who is the grammar Nazi. It's conceited, not conceded. This can be the new thing you learned today . hey I appreciate it. I would rather learn and take constructive criticism surprisingly well. One of the courses I am taking is to improve my spelling and grammar. I am embarrassed by it to be honest. I have a small vocabulary so if it helps me learn then I'll take it. Thank you 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Can you imagine how different your life may have turned out?? OP, I don't think his high opinion of himself has anything to do with him not returning the bowl yet. He probably just keeps forgetting. I still have a bowl here that my aunt left on Christmas Eve. I have every intention of returning it to her. And, ok, I'm gonna be the jerk who is the grammar Nazi. It's conceited, not conceded. This can be the new thing you learned today . All that Crockery..... All mine! Mine! I suspect i would have ended up on a seaside promenade selling tragically misshaped sugar bowels...... Plus a load of novelty glasses and fake Moustaches. God, i`m in heaven. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Why are you making this into a big deal? Politely ask for his bowl back. He hasn't done anything wrong. Maybe he hasn't cooked the meat and it's still in the bowl. Maybe he wishes you hadn't given it to him because he wasn't planning on cooking or for some other reason. You sound emotionally invested some way and there's no need for it. Doesn't matter how old or what sex either of you are unless you have some other motive. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I had a boyfriend some years ago who was incredibly conceited. He used to tell me all the time how women just adored him. One day he had to walk home as his car had broken down and he told me how all the cars driving past him with women in had been staring at him, I told him the reason they were all looking was because he walked like he had a carrot stuck up his butt! That shut him up. He never bragged about his looks to me again. (He was a very good looking guy.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 What's with all the contrasting opinions on him? He's responsible and solid. Conceited. Don't like him. He's a nice guy. Drives me nuts. Shallow. But you give him food! Why do you give food to someone you don't like? The note you left was awfully rude. If you can tease it back out of his mailbox, I suggest you do so. Ask nicely for the bowl in person. And whatever you do, don't say this "I am going to use that opportunity to say to him, that I was confused on how to proceed with this situation since you are a male and I am a female. I don't want my kind actions to lead you to believe I like you. In the past our conversations have given me the impression you are confused by that sometimes.". He'll think you crazy AND conceited. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author igotoverit Posted January 17, 2018 Author Share Posted January 17, 2018 I removed the note from the mailbox about an hour ago. I am going to leave the bowl and if I run into him, that is when I will casually remind him. I appreciate everyone who took the time to read and respond. I must admit, I may be a little bitter. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I removed the note from the mailbox about an hour ago. I am going to leave the bowl and if I run into him, that is when I will casually remind him. I appreciate everyone who took the time to read and respond. I must admit, I may be a little bitter. So glad you reconsidered. Thing is, we can't choose our neighbours. But it's important to stay courteous. If you want to limit your interaction with him, be both courteous and a little aloof. And don't give him food if you want to create distance. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 He's no doubt feeling awkward because he doesn't know why you gave him food. Not all neighbors want to be friends.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 I think you made a mistake. If a lady leaves a bowl of marinated meat on my porch, I'm banging her. You probably just made this guy want you all that much more. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author igotoverit Posted January 18, 2018 Author Share Posted January 18, 2018 I think you made a mistake. If a lady leaves a bowl of marinated meat on my porch, I'm banging her. You probably just made this guy want you all that much more. Well he is going to be getting off my internet and I am going to be distancing myself. I still haven't got my bowl back.. I am never giving meat to anyone again, I should have just thrown it out. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 Well he is going to be getting off my internet and I am going to be distancing myself. I still haven't got my bowl back.. I am never giving meat to anyone again, I should have just thrown it out. Breathe in, Breathe out. Let it goooo. You will get your bowl back soon enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author igotoverit Posted January 19, 2018 Author Share Posted January 19, 2018 I ran into him at the grocery store oddly enough and he came up to me and said hi and asked how I was. I told him I wasn't feeling well and had the flue so barely left my house in two weeks. it was more appropriate then tell him, I've been depressed and sitting home self loathing over a man and unrequited love. We chatted for a couple of minutes then parted ways. As I was leaving the grocery store, he was outside and offered me a ride home. I told him I was going to head over the thrift store then to grab myself a coffee but thanked him. Super nice guy, neither of us mentioned my bowl but I acted indifferent and didn't want him to know I was his crazy upstairs neighbor lol. I say crazy because who does this. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts