I am being blackmailed by pervert colleague.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Chuck Berry installed pee pee cameras to watch women use the facilities in his mansion in St. Louis. He had toilet cameras under every seat. He's dead now, but I bet he could have given us some advice on video surveillance...minus the pee pee.

 

And the poo poo! Eww!

[amaysngrace]

Chuck Berry installed pee pee cameras to watch women use the facilities in his mansion in St. Louis. He had toilet cameras under every seat. He's dead now, but I bet he could have given us some advice on video surveillance...minus the pee pee.

 

Really? I wonder who inspired this song

 

[stella1979]

Actually , the bit which is really weird is that you're just repeating the same story, splattered with gratuitous adjectives, and not taking any action.

 

If you choose to not take action, that's your business. But what's with the repeated descriptions of all the same stuff? We've got the picture.

 

I just need to get this off my chest!I'm so glad to have found this forum...am so sick of keeping everything to myself.I am sorry if I come off as a whiner and complainer but just need to get this out!I'm a very private person and this really bothers me.I feel like such an idiot. I know it sounds pathetic but it's ****ing with my head and I feel awful.Why am I so spineless!? I don't even understand myself anymore. When I am feeling stressed, blue, or overwhelmed, I will dress up a bit more than usual (which is already 'up' for this community ), and put more time and effort into my hair and make up. I think it's part of the 'fake it til you make it' mentality that I have adopted. If I look pretty, it helps me to feel a little better.And very often, to cheer myself up, I'll wear red.Btw, that doesn't mean I'm always down when I wear red, just that sometimes red is my way of subconsciously sending myself positive messages. It puts me in better spirits when I look fab. It helps me feel fab on less fab days.I always dress up when I'm feeling down.In fact I think the more down I feel the more I dress up, put make up and such.Partly because it's the fake till you make mentality, partly because I have no patience for feeling sorry for myself.I definitely feel better and more competent/capable of getting through the day if I dress up a little extra on the days when I don't feel good, but have something pretty important going on.I've been doing a lot of that lately.The more down I feel the more I dress up, put make up and such.

[Southern Sun]

You've received some excellent advice. Now if all you wanted was to "get this off your chest," then you will continue to be groped and harassed and blackmailed by your underling. I suggest you stop talking and take action (attorney and counseling) if you want it to stop.

 

It is within your control.

[MidwestUSA]

Chuck Berry installed pee pee cameras to watch women use the facilities in his mansion in St. Louis. He had toilet cameras under every seat. He's dead now, but I bet he could have given us some advice on video surveillance...minus the pee pee.

 

 

Where do you think I got the idea?

 

I'm using mine to catch a pooper - outside the litter box, that is. Imagine getting a phone notification every time one of your three cats enters the laundry room. There's also a spider that drops down on his web and activates it in the middle of the night.

 

 

It's middle girl cat.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Where do you think I got the idea?

 

I'm using mine to catch a pooper - outside the litter box, that is. Imagine getting a phone notification every time one of your three cats enters the laundry room. There's also a spider that drops down on his web and activates it in the middle of the night.

 

 

It's middle girl cat.

 

Omg hilarious!

 

Bad kitty! Hopefully she slinked away in shame when you showed her the video .

[healing light]

So...instead of telling us why you're not listening to our advice or what action you're going to take, you let us know that you like to dress in red and look pretty?

[stella1979]

So...instead of telling us why you're not listening to our advice or what action you're going to take, you let us know that you like to dress in red and look pretty?

I feel very hopeless.

It seems pointless but I don't know how to not feel so bad or hopeless about the situation with this sociopath woman H R manager.This is frustrating.Lately I've been feeling sad and very angry with myself.I'm sorry I'm posting here... I don't know what to do... I guess I want to get all this out, finally, and I guess it helps that I'm writing it down.I feel like I can't do anything about this situation, like I don't have the willpower to do anything.This sociopath woman H R manager could ruin my life.She threatened to send the videos to all my facebook friends,my parents and my extended family.I know I have been stupid.I hate this. I can't do this. I feel so weak and helpless, hopeless. What am I supposed to do?! I'm sorry, maybe I'm just being stupid. I hate this. What do I do?

 

I am **** and I hate myself... I don't know what to do.

[basil67]

You do what we keep telling you to do: speak to a lawyer.

 

Why have you not initiated this already?

[salparadise]

So...instead of telling us why you're not listening to our advice or what action you're going to take, you let us know that you like to dress in red and look pretty?

 

She wants us to grasp the complexity of the situation... which in a sense, it accomplishes.

[LurkerXX]

This whole thing reads Like "Notes From a Scandal."

[stillafool]

I can't believe in this day and age that a 38 year old grown woman would allow anyone (man or woman) to grope her breasts without slapping the hot crap out of them. OP you need to grow a pair. This sounds ridiculous.

[Globug]

Let me tell you what you are doing by not doing anything. You are giving this woman ammunition and more dirt to use against you. If she truly can be so evil to hack on your laptop and get your personal stuff on there do you not feel she could not be video taping what she is doing with you? If you are her boss she can be setting you up to scream sexual harassment.

 

 

1. You need to delete the personal stuff from your computer.

2. Every time she tries to grope you, touch you ANYTHING. You say "please do not do think I am not comfortable wit that. ESPICALLY in front of others.

3. You need to record her threatening you again.

4. You need to go to a lawyer & then the police.

 

 

Normal bullies like this rarely have the balls to follow through with their threats. But you are giving her ammunition to have more against you & when her fun and games are over she can release the video anyway. Take control where SHE will have consequences as well. You made a bad decision putting something so personal on a work computer. Be willing to face the consequences but what she is setting you up to could ruin your career long term. One video will not, maybe with that company but not others. Becoming sexual active with someone that works under you and not being handle to handle pressure as a manager could ruin you professionally EVERYWHERE. Take control now.

[stella1979]

I can't believe in this day and age that a 38 year old grown woman would allow anyone (man or woman) to grope her breasts without slapping the hot crap out of them. OP you need to grow a pair. This sounds ridiculous.

 

I just feel extremely guilty, and a pathetic excuse of a person. I just feel ultra lost and confused but most of all just terrified.I feel like I'm loosing control of myself and i want to stop it but i don't know how. I feel so lost.This pervert woman H R manager has videos and pictures and other sensitive material that is damaging to my career.She is threatening to send them to my colleagues, friends and family.This woman is a short,skinny,old perverted weirdo but I confess I am a bit afraid of her too.I can't just punch her in the face.I am physically stronger than her,standing next to me she looks like a midget,she is short and skinny,but i have never been in a fight my whole life.I am afraid of any kind of physical altercation.This woman H R manager is threatening me that my parents,their friends and my extended family will receive video on which I am masturbating.My parents are prominent well- respected members of the community.Just about everyone knows them.I feel deeply ashamed of myself. Its just so scary being unsure of your future.I just feel lost scared and mostly just disappointed in myself.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Are you aware that you've repeated all of these details multiple times in this thread?

Edited January 23, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redact full quote of immediately preceding post

[GemmaUK]

I just feel extremely guilty, and a pathetic excuse of a person. I just feel ultra lost and confused but most of all just terrified.I feel like I'm loosing control of myself and i want to stop it but i don't know how. I feel so lost.This pervert woman H R manager has videos and pictures and other sensitive material that is damaging to my career.She is threatening to send them to my colleagues, friends and family.<snip>

 

We got it, we know the story, there is no need to keep re-typing it over and over.

No one here has suggested you punch her in the face.

Asserting yourself does not mean punching people in the face or physically fighting them.You're a 38 year old woman and a manager - surely you know this?

 

Have you called a lawyer yet? That's the route you should be taking just as everyone here has suggested.

Edited January 23, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Truncate quote

[Space Ritual]

What do I do?

 

I am **** and I hate myself... I don't know what to do.

 

But Stella,

 

Indeed you do.

 

This E ticket ride stops when you say it does. It's up to you. This is all up to you.

[stillafool]

This sociopath woman H R manager could ruin my life.She threatened to send the videos to all my facebook friends,my parents and my extended family.I know I have been stupid.

 

If you don't do what?

[basil67]

I just feel extremely guilty, and a pathetic excuse of a person. I just feel ultra lost and confused but most of all just terrified.I feel like I'm loosing control of myself and i want to stop it but i don't know how. I feel so lost.This pervert woman H R manager has videos and pictures and other sensitive material that is damaging to my career.She is threatening to send them to my colleagues, friends and family.This woman is a short,skinny,old perverted weirdo but I confess I am a bit afraid of her too.I can't just punch her in the face.I am physically stronger than her,standing next to me she looks like a midget,she is short and skinny,but i have never been in a fight my whole life.I am afraid of any kind of physical altercation.This woman H R manager is threatening me that my parents,their friends and my extended family will receive video on which I am masturbating.My parents are prominent well- respected members of the community.Just about everyone knows them.I feel deeply ashamed of myself. Its just so scary being unsure of your future.I just feel lost scared and mostly just disappointed in myself.

 

Nothing here that you haven't said numerous times before. And with the exception of the part where she's in possession of your sensitive material, it's all completely irrelevant.

[basil67]

The problem with seeing a lawyer at this point is your credibility. While your focus is on your appearance and in describing this woman with a ridiculous amount of adjectives, it could make you seem a little unhinged. They may not take you on.

 

Do not talk about your appearance - it will make you sound like an attention seeker. Ditch the "ugly skinny etc etc etc pervert" descriptions - it's irrelevant and distracting from the issue. Stop with the poor me attitude - it's an just excuse for doing nothing and more attention seeking.

 

Stick to the facts.

[BaileyB]

Stella, are you in the middle of a manic episode right now? Do you have a doctor or a counsellor that you could speak with to get help?

[LivingWaterPlease]

Ten characters

Edited January 24, 2018 by LivingWaterPlease

[basil67]

Stella, are you in the middle of a manic episode right now? Do you have a doctor or a counsellor that you could speak with to get help?

 

I hadn't thought of this. Good point.

[lucy_in_disguise]

Stella, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. This woman sounds very manipulative and quite disturbed.

 

I think what you need to realize is, there is only one way out of this predicament, and it is by contacting the authorities (or a lawyer).

 

Yes, there is a risk that this woman will in fact make good on her threat, and that you will be embarrassed and lose your job. But by delaying taking action, you are allowing her to bully you and manipulate you without really removing that risk in the long run. Are you planning to allow her to abuse you forever? If not- you might as well bite the bullet and put a stop to it now. What's done is done- there's no use beating yourself up for it now. The important thing is to stop wasting time, because the longer you allow this to continue, the worse the outcome could be. Contacting the authorities sooner rather than later will give you an upper hand in beating this bull****, and it will let you regain some control over your life.

 

One thing to keep in mind is that what you did was embarrassing and in bad judgement, but what she has done (hacking and blackmail) is illegal- as is her threat of distributing pornographic content without your consent. There's no guarantee that she won't follow through on her threat, but it should give you some peace of mind that unless she wants to go to prison, she is probably bluffing.

 

What would you advise your daughter to do in this situation? I hope you would tell her to stand up for herself and go to the police.

 

Ps I don't envy your situation, but keep in mind many people have embarrassing pictures/ videos out there, and may be more sympathetic to your situation than you realize. If she does send those videos out, you can sue her, and I would be surprised if the damage to your reputation is as permanent as you seem to think. People have short memories and the way you handle this issue will say more about you than a stupid video.

[stella1979]

Stella, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. This woman sounds very manipulative and quite disturbed.

 

I think what you need to realize is, there is only one way out of this predicament, and it is by contacting the authorities (or a lawyer).

 

Yes, there is a risk that this woman will in fact make good on her threat, and that you will be embarrassed and lose your job. But by delaying taking action, you are allowing her to bully you and manipulate you without really removing that risk in the long run. Are you planning to allow her to abuse you forever? If not- you might as well bite the bullet and put a stop to it now. What's done is done- there's no use beating yourself up for it now. The important thing is to stop wasting time, because the longer you allow this to continue, the worse the outcome could be. Contacting the authorities sooner rather than later will give you an upper hand in beating this bull****, and it will let you regain some control over your life.

 

One thing to keep in mind is that what you did was embarrassing and in bad judgement, but what she has done (hacking and blackmail) is illegal- as is her threat of distributing pornographic content without your consent. There's no guarantee that she won't follow through on her threat, but it should give you some peace of mind that unless she wants to go to prison, she is probably bluffing.

 

What would you advise your daughter to do in this situation? I hope you would tell her to stand up for herself and go to the police.

 

Ps I don't envy your situation, but keep in mind many people have embarrassing pictures/ videos out there, and may be more sympathetic to your situation than you realize. If she does send those videos out, you can sue her, and I would be surprised if the damage to your reputation is as permanent as you seem to think. People have short memories and the way you handle this issue will say more about you than a stupid video.

I can't tell you how ashamed I feel of myself, I never believed this would be the person I become.I don't know how I will cope.How can my life ever be normal after this?I'm so scared, I have no idea what to do. I'm not even who I am anymore. I don't joke, I don't laugh, i'm not loud because of this pervert woman H R manager.I feel like an absolute useless, worthless, colossal failure.