I am being blackmailed by pervert colleague.

[Space Ritual]

I feel like an absolute useless, worthless, colossal failure.

 

You are not...but if you don't act, you will give more time for this witch to get her ducks in a row should something happen to her and make it all your fault.

 

You may feel like a failure now, but you will be GUARANTEED to feel a lot worse if you keep sitting on your hands.

 

Inaction will be your downfall.

 

We have tried every way possible to tell you the same thing.

 

Yet you are stuck in pity mode.

 

Pity doesn't feed you or pay your rent.

 

Action does.

 

We cannot help you if you sit passively as Rome burns around you.

[stillafool]

I can't tell you how ashamed I feel of myself, I never believed this would be the person I become.I don't know how I will cope.How can my life ever be normal after this?I'm so scared, I have no idea what to do. I'm not even who I am anymore. I don't joke, I don't laugh, i'm not loud because of this pervert woman H R manager.I feel like an absolute useless, worthless, colossal failure.

 

What exactly are you afraid of?

[BTDT2012]

This sociopath woman H R manager could ruin my life.She threatened to send the videos to all my facebook friends,my parents and my extended family.I know I have been stupid.

Block her on FB.

[Space Ritual]

Block her on FB.

 

Yeah, that'll work...LMFAO.

 

OP,

 

Since you refuse to take action, you are pretty much admitting that you have accepted this untenable position and are now open to feebly accepting the driving narrative of your Bane..

 

These posters have tried to help you. You refuse the help and come back here whining and moaning about how awful this person is, when in fact the blame for all of this lies at your own feet. I doubt very much you were hacked. HR people generally have pretty much unfettered access to employee information so she would have probably been quite adept in getting your password for the asking. How would she have known you had those pics and exactly where to go and what to do unless she had help? Did you unwittingly give her that help? Perhaps said something to someone else about your pics?

 

Thus far you have done nothing to help your cause other than to come back and reiterate how sad you are and get a few Virtual hugs.

 

It is sad..sad you don't do anything to help yourself.

 

None of us can help you. You won't allow us to. You've been give an excellent roadmap from myself and others but if you are too stubborn to at least read the map, then again, we can't help you.

 

Leaders who freeze in battle are the stuff of Legendary ridicule, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Kind of like the Chicago Bears since 1985. They do it in dramatic fashion, too.

 

You don't want to be a Chicago Bear...

 

Your continued inaction guarantees your doom.

[Excalibur1814]

"she called me in her office and said to me that she hacked my account (on my office computer) and download everything she could get her hands on to.She got some VERY private videos and photos of me and email messages with sensitive material that is damaging to my career"

 

 

How on earth did she 'hack' your account? Did she install a key logger or do you use a super easy password? Where's I.T. in all of this?

 

Private videos and photos... On your work computer? I hope you've taken them home or erased them. Do you realise that the above alone means that you should be sacked? (Assuming that they're 'private' photos of a naughty nature. Either way personal media should not be on a works computer)

 

 

Other than that, as people have stated, it's up to you to end this situation (Difficult as it is). I hope that you find a solution.

[stillafool]

I can't tell you how ashamed I feel of myself, I never believed this would be the person I become.I don't know how I will cope.How can my life ever be normal after this?I'm so scared, I have no idea what to do. I'm not even who I am anymore. I don't joke, I don't laugh, i'm not loud because of this pervert woman H R manager.I feel like an absolute useless, worthless, colossal failure.

 

We know this as you've stated it multiple times. Are you listening to what we are advising you to do? What is your next plan regarding this and what exactly are you afraid she is going to do?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

 

How on earth did she 'hack' your account? Did she install a key logger or do you use a super easy password? Where's I.T. in all of this?

 

 

OP has said that she used some kind of USB/key logger something or other. I'm not educated on these matters, but somewhere in this thread, she did answer this question.

[stella1979]

"she called me in her office and said to me that she hacked my account (on my office computer) and download everything she could get her hands on to.She got some VERY private videos and photos of me and email messages with sensitive material that is damaging to my career"

 

 

How on earth did she 'hack' your account? Did she install a key logger or do you use a super easy password? Where's I.T. in all of this?

 

Private videos and photos... On your work computer? I hope you've taken them home or erased them. Do you realise that the above alone means that you should be sacked? (Assuming that they're 'private' photos of a naughty nature. Either way personal media should not be on a works computer)

 

 

Other than that, as people have stated, it's up to you to end this situation (Difficult as it is). I hope that you find a solution.

She hacked my computer using a USB keylogger.My work was both tampered with and deleted, and many setting were altered.I was mad and frustrated. Upon research I found that a USB keylogger could capture my passwords.I feel really hopeless. I know a lot of people have it worse than me, but i am just so worried every day.I am disappointed in myself. I've lost hope.I just wish it could stop.

I'm​ not sure I can take this anymore.

[stella1979]

Yeah, that'll work...LMFAO.

 

OP,

 

Since you refuse to take action, you are pretty much admitting that you have accepted this untenable position and are now open to feebly accepting the driving narrative of your Bane..

 

These posters have tried to help you. You refuse the help and come back here whining and moaning about how awful this person is, when in fact the blame for all of this lies at your own feet. I doubt very much you were hacked. HR people generally have pretty much unfettered access to employee information so she would have probably been quite adept in getting your password for the asking. How would she have known you had those pics and exactly where to go and what to do unless she had help? Did you unwittingly give her that help? Perhaps said something to someone else about your pics?

 

Thus far you have done nothing to help your cause other than to come back and reiterate how sad you are and get a few Virtual hugs.

 

It is sad..sad you don't do anything to help yourself.

 

None of us can help you. You won't allow us to. You've been give an excellent roadmap from myself and others but if you are too stubborn to at least read the map, then again, we can't help you.

 

Leaders who freeze in battle are the stuff of Legendary ridicule, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Kind of like the Chicago Bears since 1985. They do it in dramatic fashion, too.

 

You don't want to be a Chicago Bear...

 

Your continued inaction guarantees your doom.

 

It was my birthday yesterday.I am a 39year old woman now.I'm so disappointed with myself. I don't know how to fill myself with positivity.I am so mad at myself! I feel awful with myself.However, I don’t know if I can take the risk. My professional reputation would be in tatters. I asked this pervert woman H R manager to stop and the only thing she says it's that she wants to see me broken. I am so frustrated and scared. I just feel really alone in this.

[Space Ritual]

She hacked my computer using a USB keylogger.My work was both tampered with and deleted, and many setting were altered.I was mad and frustrated. Upon research I found that a USB keylogger could capture my passwords.I feel really hopeless. I know a lot of people have it worse than me, but i am just so worried every day.I am disappointed in myself. I've lost hope.I just wish it could stop.

I'm​ not sure I can take this anymore.

 

And.......

 

 

Wow a whole 9 days now since your initial post and you have not moved 1 inch past feeling sorry for yourself.

 

I'm sorry, but you are either the most stubborn office manager in the history of telemarketing, or the most clueless. it's probably a mixture of both.

 

You have passively set yourself up to be replaced. I think sadly you will be totally surprised when this happens.

 

And it's going to happen.

 

People who do nothing to help themselves when they could do so in 30 seconds usually are the only ones who are surprised.

 

Try reading your repetitive posts over and over a few tines. Then you may understand why you leave us all scratching our heads.

[salparadise]

I just wish it could stop. I'm​ not sure I can take this anymore.

 

It could if you had the balls to call her bluff. First, the chances of her following through on the threats are minimal. Secondly, it would be easy enough for you to get video evidence of her harassing you, and you repeatedly asking her not to touch you. After that, a cease and desist letter from a lawyer will probably do it. If not, fire her ass! She reports to you, so just do it. And tell her that if those videos are ever seen by anyone that you'll own her house and she'll be paying for the rest of her short, worthless life.

 

The way you deal with a bully is to punch'em square in the nose. You need to show this woman that the game is over once and for all. The problem is that you have given up all your power and don't have the balls or critical thinking to take it back. As long as you're deathly afraid, she owns you.

 

What are you going to do about it? Describe your physique and wardrobe on an internet forum as if it's somehow relevant? No one here can help you if you aren't willing to think straight and act.

[GemmaUK]

The way you deal with a bully is to punch'em square in the nose.

 

No!!!

Please do not suggest this to the OP, she will take it literally as so far it is the only plan she has and mentions.

 

This action will lead to job loss and a conviction for assault.

It would be a seriously dumb move.

[IndigoNight]

She hacked my computer using a USB keylogger.My work was both tampered with and deleted, and many setting were altered.I was mad and frustrated. Upon research I found that a USB keylogger could capture my passwords.I feel really hopeless. I know a lot of people have it worse than me, but i am just so worried every day.I am disappointed in myself. I've lost hope.I just wish it could stop.

I'm​ not sure I can take this anymore.

 

Did the harassment start before you were "hacked"? If not, then why did you not report the intrusion into your computer IMMEDIATELY? Does your company have an IT department? Have they been contacted about a security breech?

 

Either fire the employee, and deal with any possible fallout, or find a new job. I highly doubt that she is willing to face potential lawsuits or criminal charges (if any of your claims prove valid) by posting the video online. If you do not know what recourse you have against her, hire a lawyer to explain it to you.

 

You work for a Telemarketing company? It is unlikely that quitting will destroy your professional reputation, unless you tell prospective new employers the story you posted here.

 

You make it a point to defend how you dress, why? Is it relevant to the situation at hand? You also make it a point to belittle and insult how the other employee looks, why? What do her looks have to do with her actions?

 

As a manager, you are handling this situation poorly. If an employee came to you with the same story, what would you do to handle it? Tell them to put up with it? Take action, and fire the offender? You have a choice to make, and posting online isn't going to solve your problem. Quit, report the employee, fire her, whatever...but do something!

[salparadise]

No!!!

Please do not suggest this to the OP, she will take it literally as so far it is the only plan she has and mentions.

 

This action will lead to job loss and a conviction for assault.

It would be a seriously dumb move.

 

You're right. OP, Please do not assault her in the literal sense. You have to make a play that Trumps her groping and shyte... sorry, don't take that literally either.