I'm an awful person

[Sue]

I cheated with an ex-boyfriend and the man I am currently dating doesn't know it yet. I know I have to break up with him and not because I'm leaving him for someone else. I have never done this and don't ever plan to in the future. The problems I am facing are that the person I am dating lives far from me. Should I have him come up to my house (it's a 2 hr drive) and break up with him, e-mail a Dear John letter, or phone him? I am not sure if honesty is the best policy in this situation. I do still love him and respect him but I know that feeling this way is unhealthy for me . If it were a matter that could be worked out I would try to but some problems are too big to be solved by mere mortals. I would appreciate sincere input.

[bethbonnie]

I cheated with an ex-boyfriend and the man I am currently dating doesn't know it yet. I know I have to break up with him and not because I'm leaving him for someone else. I have never done this and don't ever plan to in the future. The problems I am facing are that the person I am dating lives far from me. Should I have him come up to my house (it's a 2 hr drive) and break up with him, e-mail a Dear John letter, or phone him? I am not sure if honesty is the best policy in this situation. I do still love him and respect him but I know that feeling this way is unhealthy for me . If it were a matter that could be worked out I would try to but some problems are too big to be solved by mere mortals. I would appreciate sincere input.

 

Firstly, NO you are not a horrible person, you are human! I am not condoning your actions of betraying someone's trust, you will and learn a lesson from this. You are already stating that you acknowledge what you have done is wrong. More so toward yourself. Only you can decide what is comfortable for you in regard to breaking of the relationship with the friend that lives 2 hours away. A long distance romance I believe is never easy for anyone. Honesty is very important. Will your honesty of being with your ex clear you of your own guilt. Please consider the wisdom in telling all to your long distance friend? Perhaps to consider what trust issues it may affect in confessing your actions to your long distance friend are worth some thought? Forgive yourself for your actions, and sincerely promise yourself not to be unfaithful to anyone in the future. It is a wonderful character to develop confidence in being true to yourself. We must accept full responsibility for our own actions, only you know the circumstances which lead to your actions. I wish you well to use WISDOM in any decision you make in the future. Consider the consequences of your choices. Take care

[Sharlene]

First of all you are not a terrble person and I agree with beth bonnie when she says that you are human, I would say a terrible person would be one who feels no remorse for what they have done and feel no reason to feel bad and continue cheating. In response to your situation If you say that you loved him then don't you think that a Dear John letter is too cold? I mean don't you owe it to him and at least talk to him on the phone? I would say that would be the most pain free situation however, if you feel extremely bad for everything and feel that you owe him something then I suggest you drive to his house and talk to him face to face that way you can see him and he doesn't have to feel stupid for driving 2 hours to get dumped that way he doesn't have a right to be totally angry with you. It will also give you a clear conscience because you went out of your way to do so, also if and when you do drive up there you can see for your self if your love for him is truly over.