A date was arranged then this happened... Explanation?

[spiderowl]

I'm sorry, she lost interest which is why she wasn't replying. There is no point being angry with someone because they don't have the same feelings as you. When people are put on the spot about going for a drink or something, they will often say 'yes' and then maybe think twice about it later. If a woman ghosts you, just ghost them in return. Don't express anger because that just convinces them you are an angry type of guy and we all avoid them.

[SevenCity]

I'm sorry, she lost interest which is why she wasn't replying. There is no point being angry with someone because they don't have the same feelings as you. When people are put on the spot about going for a drink or something, they will often say 'yes' and then maybe think twice about it later. If a woman ghosts you, just ghost them in return. Don't express anger because that just convinces them you are an angry type of guy and we all avoid them.

 

Good advice but honestly it doesn't matter. There are so many people on OLD your outburst is unlikely to have an effect on any future prospects.

 

And since she doesn't care anyway, who cares?

 

Agreed, it's not the right thing to do but perhaps people would act differently if they were called out more on their poor behavior.

[Purrrfect]

I disagree with some of the others. She was rude. It takes 5 seconds to message someone. What she gave you was a lame excuse and there likely was no sick grandad. If she really wanted to meet she would have not forgot about you.

 

She needs to grow up. Write her off.

[kendahke]

in the future, never invest this heavily in someone you haven't laid eyes on in person.

[Cookiesandough]

Plenty of girls do compare their matches and experiences online similar to what guys do. I do at least. What if you meet her friend, hit it off, third date she shows her friend the guy she's seeing and her friend says "oh my gosh. I dunno if I should tell you this, but I met that guy on badoo and he flipped out on me when I turned him down when my g pa was sick" " WHAT??! "

 

Done. Not trying to scare you, and yea chances are slim, but just saying always watch out your comments bros

Edited January 22, 2018 by Cookiesandough

[some_username1]

Responses like yours are why so many women hate online dating. You didn't have to be so angry about it.

 

Also, for future reference, avoid asking the girl, "so where are we going and what time?" Instead say, "Is 7PM at XYZ good for you?"

 

Sorry, as a woman you don't just get responses like that for no reason- you *earn* responses like that.

 

Turning the other cheek is exactly what girls like this want because it doesn't make them accountable for leading people on when they have no intention to meet in the first place. Perhaps if they got the occasional verbal chastisement more often it might prick their conscience enough to make them be more honest. Radio silence never made anybody think about their actions, ever.

 

And as for using a relative and an illness as an excuse, well I never. This is all entirely on her, if you are going to play games with people you need to be prepared for a reaction that you may not like.

[Cookiesandough]

Sorry, as a woman you don't just get responses like that for no reason- you *earn* responses like that.

 

Turning the other cheek is exactly what girls like this want because it doesn't make them accountable for leading people on when they have no intention to meet in the first place. Perhaps if they got the occasional verbal chastisement more often it might prick their conscience enough to make them be more honest. Radio silence never made anybody think about their actions, ever.

 

And as for using a relative and an illness as an excuse, well I never. This is all entirely on her, if you are going to play games with people you need to be prepared for a reaction that you may not like.

 

You really believe that going off on someone that is not interested is going to inspire an moral epiphany within them? I don't think it works like that.

 

I get you're angry, and that's understandable, but women deal with angry/crazy men that can't take rejection all the time. It's nothing new to them and at this point they're afraid of rejecting guys because of it so they fade and make up lame excuses.

 

It's not turning the other cheek. It's walking away with dignity that you idnt let someone like that get to you...

Edited January 22, 2018 by Cookiesandough

[some_username1]

You really believe that going off on someone that is not interested is going to inspire an moral epiphany within them? I don't think it works like that.

 

I get you're angry, and that's understandable, but women deal with angry/crazy men that can't take rejection all the time. It's nothing new to them and at this point they're afraid of rejecting guys because of it so they fade and make up lame excuses.

 

It's not turning the other cheek. It's walking away with dignity that you idnt let someone like that get to you...

 

Funnily enough it has actually worked for me in the past. I had a girl I had been chatting to for a few weeks (I was away visiting family) tell me that she wasn't going to turn up for our date because she couldn't be bothered to get dressed up. I was raging because I had rushed my guts out trying to travel back as quickly as possible so I could make our date only for her to tell me this just as I had almost arrived back.

 

I let her know in no uncertain terms that what she said and did was very disrespectful and she replied and apologised and admitted she was out of order! She didn't have to respond at all so she obviously realised that I was justified in being annoyed. I give her some small amount of respect for that, at least.

 

And as for the bolded, you can see it that way or you can see it as being meek and allowing people to take liberties. My time is precious, I won't put up with people wasting it and will tell them so.

Edited January 23, 2018 by some_username1

[Imajerk17]

Funnily enough it has actually worked for me in the past. I had a girl I had been chatting to for a few weeks (I was away visiting family) tell me that she wasn't going to turn up for our date because she couldn't be bothered to get dressed up. I was raging because I had rushed my guts out trying to travel back as quickly as possible so I could make our date only for her to tell me this just as I had almost arrived back.

 

I let her know in no uncertain terms that what she said and did was very disrespectful and she replied and apologised and admitted she was out of order! She didn't have to respond at all so she obviously realised that I was justified in being annoyed. I give her some small amount of respect for that, at least.

 

And as for the bolded, you can see it that way or you can see it as being meek and allowing people to take liberties. My time is precious, I won't put up with people wasting it and will tell them so.

 

I say, well-done, some_username1. A well-stated message expressing how what she did was not cool--without crossing the line into abuse--is an entirely justified way of handling.

 

The goal is NOT to not burn bridges. Who cares what she thinks at this point. If you ever happen to make contact with one of her friends who actually were to hold it against you that you dared toexpress displeasure at disrespectful behaviour--again without your going overboard about it that is, then bullet dodged.

 

Again, I am NOT justifying abusive behaviour. But in this instance a text letting her know that her inconsideration was aggravating was entirely called for.

 

Meanwhile ladies, just keep your plans or let the guy know in a timely and respectful manner that it just isn't happening after all. It's not that hard, really...

Edited January 23, 2018 by Imajerk17

[Cookiesandough]

Funnily enough it has actually worked for me in the past. I had a girl I had been chatting to for a few weeks (I was away visiting family) tell me that she wasn't going to turn up for our date because she couldn't be bothered to get dressed up. I was raging because I had rushed my guts out trying to travel back as quickly as possible so I could make our date only for her to tell me this just as I had almost arrived back.

 

I let her know in no uncertain terms that what she said and did was very disrespectful and she replied and apologised and admitted she was out of order! She didn't have to respond at all so she obviously realised that I was justified in being annoyed. I give her some small amount of respect for that, at least.

 

And as for the bolded, you can see it that way or you can see it as being meek and allowing people to take liberties. My time is precious, I won't put up with people wasting it and will tell them so.

 

I don't see this as proof it worked, but that this girl had better character and it was a lot harsher what she did than what OP's girl did so she felt compelled to apologize to you. It doesn't mean she will change her ways or that she regrets it one bit. I think anyone who berates someone who doesn't have enough respect for them or their time in the first place is just further wasting their time, but I respect your opinion.