Unplanned pregnancy causing relationship issues

[Mr. Lucky]

You're mismatched with this guy. Your goals don't align.

 

How many more years do you plan to waste on him.

 

He was right about one thing - he doesn't want kids and he's not parent material.

 

 

If you want that baby then have it - he really gets no say.

 

But end it with him knowing this is who he is. File for child support.

 

Bingo. OP, you seem to be pursuing a Guinness record for pounding a square peg into a round hole. He doesn't want to be a Dad, doesn't act like a father and has shown few parental instincts - and you're about to have your second child with him??? Forget his actions, wants or needs - what the heck are YOU still doing in this relationship and with your life?

 

Time to think of your children, both present and future. As S2B advised, haul his *ss into court and get yours into a better place...

 

Mr. Lucky

[sandylee1]

You just keep trying to defend him. I can only say that this is the behaviour your son will learn .... if you stick with him.

 

How much self respect are you showing by allowing yourself to be insulted in front of your son this way.

 

Good luck if you want to continue making excuses for him. That's on you.

[RecentChange]

Oh, but I can imagine that he didn't want to wear a condom. Which is why, considering that he chose not to have a vasectomy or use a back-up method of birth control, he should be prepared to accept the responsibility for this unplanned pregnancy. If he didn't want another baby, he should have taken more responsibility for birth control.

 

But the problem is.... he is irresponsible.

 

And sure, you can force someone to "be responsible". The courts can garnish his wages.... but you can't force someone into wanting to be a parent. You can't force parental instincts, you can't force love, tolerance and patients.

 

For me, this the stuff of nightmares - literally (I have been known to have horrible, stressful dreams about becoming pregnant, NOT something I want!).

 

But I am a woman, and I do have the ultimate say..... this guy, like I said before he has been playing Russian Roulette, and has lost, twice now.

 

And I warn men - if they DO NOT want kids... they really have to be careful, especially when someone has already shown that they will keep an accidental pregnancy. The oldest son was his warning, and he didn't take heed.

 

Really he can only blame himself for the current situation.

 

I still think this guy sounds like a lousy father and male role model.

[amaysngrace]

So you smack him and give him the silent treatment for three days straight, he cusses you out and calls your son names?

 

Both of you are acting dysfunctionally I'm sorry to say. That's just not really how you're suppose to treat people.

[healing light]

You are fine having this child, he isn't.

 

You want marriage, he doesn't.

 

You have incompatible parenting styles.

 

You disapprove of the way he spends money.

 

Arguments over major issues are addressed with verbal abuse.

 

Your son is being subconsciously imprinted at a critical age by your partner's lack of validation--something that will affect him negatively to some degree his whole life until he addresses it.

 

 

 

Re-read the above over and over. You guys are fundamentally incompatible on several fronts, imo. You can't hope he'll change his mind on marriage some day simply because you want it, the same way that he's not going to change his mind on having children.

[Cullenbohannon]

I grabbed his empty beer bottle and wholloped him upside the head a few times with it

 

Bringing a 3rd child into this mess is insane. Perhaps you should consider adoption.

Edited January 23, 2018 by Cullenbohannon