Quick Poll: Is this an ok behavioural trait in a relationship

[NomiMalone]

There was a behaviour trait of my boyfriend's that I accepted even though I wish he could've been more open.

 

His communication with me on day to day things were often a bit vague. For example, 1) He recently had to deliver an item from his business to a shop in the CBD. When I asked him where he had to deliver the item to, he simply said, "its a shop close to the Hilton". 2) A few mornings last week, he said he "had to leave early for work". But never elaborated.

 

I think that he just honestly believed that elaborating would be unnecessary and a waste of time. I never asked further questions.

 

Just wanted opinions on whether you guys think this is an ok level of communication in a relationship in general, for future reference.

 

Thanks everyone.

Edited January 21, 2018 by NomiMalone

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Yes, it's an OK behavioral trait in a relationship.

[BaileyB]

I think these are pretty unimportant things... So, I would agree that elaborating would be unnecessary and a total waste of time and energy.

 

Why do you feel you would need to know more information in these examples? What exactly are you worried about?

[Happy Lemming]

2) A few mornings last week, he said he "had to leave early for work". But never elaborated.

 

Why would this need to be elaborated on?? Work is work, if he had to go in early, one would assume he has extra work which requires an earlier than usual start. Whether it was taking inventory or a special early delivery or even a work meeting, what does it matter... work is work. He might not even know why the boss asked him to come in early.

 

I've had bosses tell me to come in early, I never question why, just start my day at the time I'm told.

 

I'm a bit confused as to why this would be a problem??

[FilterCoffee]

Sounds unimportant so what he’s telling you is fine.

[NomiMalone]

Thanks everyone. I think it's ok behaviour as well normally.

 

I'm asking because I found out that my boyfriend could've been unfaithful during our relationship, and I suspect he was dishonest with me about something just before I ended the relationship.

 

He was always a "man of few words" when it came to communication on some matters with me. There were also gross inconsistencies in stories that I swept under the rug due to his tendency to be disorganised and vague about many things. I never thought much of any of that. Now in hindsight, maybe I should've been more cautious.

 

I realise I'll never ever find out the truth of whether he was unfaithful. I've accepted this for the most part, and am actually moving on ok, considering.

[d0nnivain]

Communication is important but nobody is entitled to every trivial detail about another person. What difference does it make where he had some package delivered or exactly what work purpose required him to go to work early? Why are the details of his job important to you?

 

You don't trust him & are trying to catch him in some lie. You now have some reason to believe he was unfaithful & you are looking for holes in his stories. The gross inconsistencies are a different issue.

 

My husband is also a man of few words but his close to the vest communications style is not alone indicative of cheating.

[NomiMalone]

Communication is important but nobody is entitled to every trivial detail about another person. What difference does it make where he had some package delivered or exactly what work purpose required him to go to work early? Why are the details of his job important to you?

 

You don't trust him & are trying to catch him in some lie. You now have some reason to believe he was unfaithful & you are looking for holes in his stories. The gross inconsistencies are a different issue.

 

My husband is also a man of few words but his close to the vest communications style is not alone indicative of cheating.

 

Thanks d0nnivain, these are my thoughts exactly too, and I actually never thought twice about this until now that I've left him.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Thanks everyone. I think it's ok behaviour as well normally.

 

I'm asking because I found out that my boyfriend could've been unfaithful during our relationship, and I suspect he was dishonest with me about something just before I ended the relationship.

 

He was always a "man of few words" when it came to communication on some matters with me. There were also gross inconsistencies in stories that I swept under the rug due to his tendency to be disorganised and vague about many things. I never thought much of any of that. Now in hindsight, maybe I should've been more cautious.

 

I realise I'll never ever find out the truth of whether he was unfaithful. I've accepted this for the most part, and am actually moving on ok, considering.

 

So you're basically asking the original question to see if you were being too oblivious or not observant enough? The answer is no, if we're basing it on the examples you provided .