Feeling like people on dating apps are desperate

[Imajerk17]

Sorry I didn't mean to put people down. Like I said, I am in this camp too. I was just voicing this nagging feeling in my head, or as Eternal put it, a 'whiff' I got, but I'm trying to see past it. I may be insane, but I haven't given up yet. Perhaps something will happen and I'll meet someone nice. It's just so hard to take seriously forging a romantic relationship with someone under these circumstances. It seems so...forced. That's the best word I can think of.

 

I don't do that behavior any more since the guy I reconnected with from last year. On my last date I tried very hard. Maybe I just had bad luck again that time (That's what they all say...)with a desperate man. I think I will continue dating for awhile now that the dust has settled that date. It's hard because I am put off at the moment and cringing at the whole idea. But I'm going to try. TY

 

So all your anxiety issues that caused you to cut and run not even two weeks ago have suddenly been solved?

 

Meanwhile I do think you need to make more of an effort to put things right with the last guy that you ghosted. He probably is still wondering what the hell happened. There has to be *some* way for you to contact him to apologize for your behaviour.

[amaysngrace]

So because you're done with it for the time being you're going to judge those who still do OLD?

 

Did I just read that right??

[No_Go]

I've had good luck with OLD in the past (sort of - got my ex-bf of 2 years immediately after I signed on my prior to last round, on the last round - got a guy I was really into but it went nowhere).

 

BUT offline *build up* is infinitely more enjoyable. I have had this recently, albeit with a guy that I had to give up on for other reasons, but the whole push-pull, lack of timelines (text daily! kiss by date 3! sex by date 4! exclusive by date 5! rules that are ultimately passion killing), the uncertainty... The natural progression & escalation...

 

I do believe the people in OLD are exactly the same (heck everyone has had OLD account at least at a point in time) but the whole 'rule-following' makes it stiff, unpleasant and somewhat clinical feeling.

 

I still think OLD is the fastest (and probably only feasible) way to get a bf though, for anyone past college age that is NOT comfortable with cold approaches or dating coworkers.

 

There is something so utterly inorganic and forced in OLD that it makes me want to

 

I don't equate it to going to bars and clubs at all. When I was in mid 20s and actually living in the same place for a decent amount of time, I had a great social circle. Even though I am an introvert with some social akwardness, this circle kind of just naturally happened. We went out every weekend. Going to bars and clubs started with girls meeting up at someone's apartment and then doing hair and makeup, picking out outfits while drinking wine and listening to music. I also love to dance so going to clubs with good music and good friends was always fun. Sure, meeting men was something we all talked about but it wasn't the only reason why we were there. I actually met most quality guys that way. Comparing the fun of those experiences to dry awfulness of first OLDs or even chats: "umm sooo where are you from?" for the 100th time. Ugh. Just can't compare.

 

After a certain age and lots of moving around, I don't have those social circles anymore. People my age are married with kids. I can't even go to clubs and dance where most people are 18-25. Going to a bar by myself possibly feels even more desperate than OLD (I have never actually done it). So OLD is all that's left. I was hoping that there must be guys on there who are in the same situation as me. But for the most part....no.

 

Most men I meet have this whiff of desperation and loserliness around them. I am not saying that there is nothing wrong with me. There is plenty. It's just that relative to men I keep meeting on OLD, I find that what's wrong with me just pales in comparison. Occasionally when I met what seemed to be a quality guy that's not an obvious player, it always turned out that he is just a .....more skilled player.

 

Everything about OLD depresses me. The whole concept of it, the utter lack of feeling of enjoyment of any parts of the process, the poor return on my investment of time...just everything. Someone please shoot me if I mention going back to OLD again.

[Cookiesandough]

So all your anxiety issues that caused you to cut and run not even two weeks ago have suddenly been solved?

 

Meanwhile I do think you need to make more of an effort to put things right with the last guy that you ghosted. He probably is still wondering what the hell happened. There has to be *some* way for you to contact him to apologize for your behaviour.

 

Yes. I think it's solved now. I will try to keep the idea in my head that people are just using it for a supplement to their social life and are noncommittal about it. And that they just want to meet people and pay for their stuff and have no expectations (but if that were the case why wouldn't they just be out meeting people?) I am going to maintain positive about it. I feel like my on my last date I acted really well. Usually, I would have freaked out and blocked immediately after the date.

 

The guy you're talking about. I know his instagram, he friended me and I never added back. I could do that. Or I could wait until we match on Tinder.

So because you're done with it for the time being you're going to judge those who still do OLD?

 

Did I just read that right??

 

Nay

[Imajerk17]

Yes. I think it's solved now. I will try to keep the idea in my head that people are just using it for a supplement to their social life and are noncommittal about it. And that they just want to meet people and pay for their stuff and have no expectations (but if that were the case why wouldn't they just be out meeting people?) I am going to maintain positive about it. I feel like my last date I acted really well. The only problem occurred when I felt we weren't a match.

 

The guy you're talking about. I know his instagram, he friended me and I never added back. I could do that. Or I could wait until we match on Tinder.

 

 

Nay

 

 

Friend the guy and send him a message explaining and apologizing for what happened. Do it right now.

 

Don't wait until you match on Tinder.

 

The idea is not for you to stay in contact with him--you can unfriend after if you so choose, the idea is for you to put things right, which is something you really need to do.

[Cookiesandough]

I've had good luck with OLD in the past (sort of - got my ex-bf of 2 years immediately after I signed on my prior to last round, on the last round - got a guy I was really into but it went nowhere).

 

BUT offline *build up* is infinitely more enjoyable. I have had this recently, albeit with a guy that I had to give up on for other reasons, but the whole push-pull, lack of timelines (text daily! kiss by date 3! sex by date 4! exclusive by date 5! rules that are ultimately passion killing), the uncertainty... The natural progression & escalation...

 

I do believe the people in OLD are exactly the same (heck everyone has had OLD account at least at a point in time) but the whole 'rule-following' makes it stiff, unpleasant and somewhat clinical feeling.

 

I still think OLD is the fastest (and probably only feasible) way to get a bf though, for anyone past college age that is NOT comfortable with cold approaches or dating coworkers.

It's definitely the fastest, no doubt. But I am one of those "best things come to those who wait"? errr I don't know the right idiom, but the one where good things take time. OLD is RUSHED. It's rushed either emotionally, sexually, or just in general. I want a build up like you mentioned. Offline my experience has been that way too. We start out not even knowing if we 'match'...So there's tension and a stage where you're so confused if this is even going in a romantic direction? But slowly it does...and it's mmmmm. But online dating is like "BAM. You seem cool/hot. Let's date." Too forced.

 

The problem is meeting people. I don't like cold approaches and I get shy when men I am attracted to converse with me. That's the problem. I am talking to someone in my program, but we have the week off so I feel the flame may have flickered.

 

How are you meeting guys IRL? What's your IRL game?

Edited January 22, 2018 by Cookiesandough

[BluEyeL]

Online dating is mainstream now and nobody bats an eye when I say I met my wonderful husband on match.

 

Especially for older adults , out of school, it can be very difficult to meet people organically. In my time as a single woman over 40 I did the activities too, I did meetup, heck, I opened two meetup groups myself ! The one for singles over 40 I opened up in my small town grew a lot since I started it

 

. I did have a short relationship with someone I met at a meetup group, but ultimately it just happened that I met my husband online. There was no way we could’ve left have met in real life . I think old does just that: allows you to meet people you’d otherwise never have met.

 

Young people have a better chance in real life and I do agree that it is somewhat fake, meeting lots of strangers . Bit beginnings are always sort of awkward anyway. In real life you get over that by repeated exposure to each other, online you need to meet several times . People don’t always give its chance for thatto happen.

[amaysngrace]

Nay

 

It sure seems that way to me. You want people to help you have a different take on the conclusions you've drawn from what you've observed but did it ever occur to you that you are attracting people who have the same similarities as you?

 

I mean, you admit that you draw conclusions on people who seem confident and write them off so what does that leave you with??

[Cookiesandough]

Online dating is mainstream now and nobody bats an eye when I say I met my wonderful husband on match.

 

Especially for older adults , out of school, it can be very difficult to meet people organically. In my time as a single woman over 40 I did the activities too, I did meetup, heck, I opened two meetup groups myself ! The one for singles over 40 I opened up in my small town grew a lot since I started it

 

. I did have a short relationship with someone I met at a meetup group, but ultimately it just happened that I met my husband online. There was no way we could’ve left have met in real life . I think old does just that: allows you to meet people you’d otherwise never have met.

 

Young people have a better chance in real life and I do agree that it is somewhat fake, meeting lots of strangers . Bit beginnings are always sort of awkward anyway. In real life you get over that by repeated exposure to each other, online you need to meet several times . People don’t always give its chance for thatto happen.

 

Actually, whenever I think of OLD and it's faults, all the awful stories here, I think of your success story BluEye. And it is very encouraging. There are quite a few people here who have a lot of luck. Rush I believe is one and also (I guess it counts as OLD) but Timshel and gaius who met here. So I know they are all like that.

 

 

@Amay

I still plan to use OLD. I don't meet people who are usually not ANYTHING like me. Some are, though. The issue I can't shake is that people who turn to online dating are desperate to want a relationship with someone that that they set up a profile, go through thousands of profiles, write hundreds of people sometimes, pay for and spend time on dates they don't want to even be on, etc.

 

You go on a date with a virtual stranger, not even a blind date a friend set up. In that way, they are like me. But everyone OLD is like that. I mainly used it before to meet someone for a chat for fun because I liked that aspect of it (don't worry I paid my way or didn't order anything but water), but now I am starting to consider to use it to meet a partner and I hope I can shake this feeling of meeting someone under these forced circumstances.

 

I am 100% up for challenging these beliefs which is why I started my argument with "please tell me how it's not" (or something like that) I was opening up discourse. I am not rejecting anyone's ideas just presenting counterarguments.

 

Ty

[littleblackheart]

Just want to say this cookies, NO ONE is fine with being alone/single, no matter what they say. You can go out and have as much fun as you want and distract yourself as much as you want but you always come back home at night to an empty bed. NOBODY wants that forever. NO ONE. Except if you're a monk or a nun.

 

Sorry to burst your narrow-minded bubble but yes, there are people (I don't have any numbers) who are happy single. I am one of them. I experienced true loneliness during the whole duration of my marriage and I can safely say it is impossible for me to feel alone after 8 horrendous years.

 

I am also super independent and my marriage was actually the only (bad) dent in my otherwise relationship-free life. I have kids, family, colleagues and friends so I am neither alone nor lonely. I can't understand how this is such a struggle for some people to comprehend.

 

Sorry Cookies, I have no opinion on the subject of the thread - I suppose if it helps even desperate people find their match, there must be some good in it. I would not do it, but I also wouldn't date IRL...

[amaysngrace]

I still plan to use OLD. I don't meet people who are usually not ANYTHING like me. Some are, though. The issue I can't shake is that people who turn to online dating are desperate to want a relationship with someone that that they set up a profile, go through thousands of profiles, write hundreds of people sometimes, pay for and spend time on dates they don't want to even be on, etc.

 

 

 

You're describing yourself, except for those few some that you meet. You do this a lot to guys you meet so why shouldn't they do it back to you? Especially since you recognize the ones you go for are a lot like you, except for those some.

 

I don't know what you expect.

[Cookiesandough]

You're describing yourself, except for those few some that you meet. You do this a lot to guys you meet so why shouldn't they do it back to you? Especially since you recognize the ones you go for are a lot like you, except for those some.

 

I don't know what you expect.

Well, that's my point. The whole process is desperate, and I was trying to figure out how it was not. I was including myself in that category. I said in the opening post that "I am no exception" However, I don't do allthat.

I don't search for rship (at least not now, hopefully I will want one with someonE)

I don't read thousands of profiles

I don't even read 99% of the messages in my inbox or even look at the thumbnails

I don't think I've written anyone 1st, much less hundreds.

I don't pay for the dates.

I don't go on the dates expecting that the person is catfishing me like some of the guys I go on.

 

It just seems more sad for this reason. But my point is I'm trying to overlook it and see that it is a perfectly dignified way to meet someone

[Cookiesandough]

Sorry, Amay. I think we may be missing each other's point or something. IDK

[Cookiesandough]

 

Sorry Cookies, I have no opinion on the subject of the thread - I suppose if it helps even desperate people find their match, there must be some good in it. I would not do it, but I also wouldn't date IRL...

 

Do you have an opinion on OLD? I think it's good if it works for people. The problem is if it will work for me. I am so worried I am going to think my partner and I found each other through our desperation or something and I'll lose respect. Gosh...maybe I shouldn't date. Considering I really don't even want to either. I'm just scared I'm missing out on something great. I think that's it. I feel as time ticks by the more I'm missing out on, even though I don't want it now, I may later. That's crazy

[No_Go]

It's definitely the fastest, no doubt. But I am one of those "best things come to those who wait"? errr I don't know the right idiom, but the one where good things take time. OLD is RUSHED. It's rushed either emotionally, sexually, or just in general. I want a build up like you mentioned. Offline my experience has been that way too. We start out not even knowing if we 'match'...So there's tension and a stage where you're so confused if this is even going in a romantic direction? But slowly it does...and it's mmmmm. But online dating is like "BAM. You seem cool/hot. Let's date." Too forced.

 

The problem is meeting people. I don't like cold approaches and I get shy when men I am attracted to converse with me. That's the problem. I am talking to someone in my program, but we have the week off so I feel the flame may have flickered.

 

How are you meeting guys IRL? What's your IRL game?

 

Totally agree with the rushed assessment. And because it is rushed, everything seems misplaced. Romantically, emotionally, sexually. And that's why even when seemingly stable LTR develops, there is often feeling of emptiness - and then - crash. [OLDers that take the slow approach are usually outcompeted so no luck for them either].

 

IRL I can meet guys only in situations where interaction is inevitable, and to me this has been so far only: 1) housemates 2) coworkers. My first bf was a housemate and it was also forced, basically I had no choice to 'escape' (well, in the hindsight I'm happy it turned that way because otherwise I'd have been a forever virgin, I completely block on cold approaches). Coworkers is risky, but most 'natural' because you've established social validation - and respectively a certain rapport of trust. I had a massive crush on coworker in the past, ended without anything happening though, and recently another oen (the one with the ambiguous relationship status so sadly again I've been high&dry...)

 

How about you Cookies? Any IRL tips?

[littleblackheart]

Do you have an opinion on OLD? I think it's good if it works for people. The problem is if it will work for me. I am so worried I am going to think my partner and I found each other through our desperation or something. Gosh...maybe I shouldn't date. Considering I really don't even want to either. I'm just scared I'm missing out on something great. I think that's it. I feel as time ticks by the more I'm missing out on, even though I don't want it now, I may later. That's crazy

 

If people can be genuine on it and find what they are looking for, sure OLD is great. It requires time and effort, though, and probably also quite a bit of distance. From the whole process and from the results that can stem from it. I don't think it's for everyone - and there's nothing wrong with that!

[NuevoYorko]

I haven't read the whole thread but I have an opinion: You're projecting, and what you think is wrong. There certainly are desperate people doing OLD and there are desperate lonely people everywhere. There are also a load of regular people who are thinking that maybe it's worth giving it a shot.

 

It's an avenue for meeting people that is appropriate for many in this day and age when a lot of us sit at our computers working from home , ordering stuff from Amazon instead of going shopping, getting takeout delivered from any and every restaurant using an app on your phone without needing to venture out to eat. For good or bad, online dating fits in perfectly with all this.

 

Personally I know 2 happily married couples who met online and I had a 2 year relationship with a fine woman I met on Match.com some years back - along with a bunch of people who are in and out of it, dating, hooking up, finding relationships that don't last in the long haul - just like dating has always been.

[Cookiesandough]

Totally agree with the rushed assessment. And because it is rushed, everything seems misplaced. Romantically, emotionally, sexually. And that's why even when seemingly stable LTR develops, there is often feeling of emptiness - and then - crash. [OLDers that take the slow approach are usually outcompeted so no luck for them either].

 

IRL I can meet guys only in situations where interaction is inevitable, and to me this has been so far only: 1) housemates 2) coworkers. My first bf was a housemate and it was also forced, basically I had no choice to 'escape' (well, in the hindsight I'm happy it turned that way because otherwise I'd have been a forever virgin, I completely block on cold approaches). Coworkers is risky, but most 'natural' because you've established social validation - and respectively a certain rapport of trust. I had a massive crush on coworker in the past, ended without anything happening though, and recently another oen (the one with the ambiguous relationship status so sadly again I've been high&dry...)

 

How about you Cookies? Any IRL tips?

 

 

I think I am going to try build my social circle again. I am not really sure I even want to date anymore. I am looking at all my matches and just...SMH. I feel bad for these guys and I wishes I didn't. For the longest time I was OLD, I was soooo embarrassed I couldn't sleep. The thought I was up there and seeing guys I actually knew IRL and having them match me. The entire thing was incredibly nerve-wracking and awkward. I couldn't take it and I probably deleted it 5 times in a month. Then I became used to it.

 

If I were to really date again and take seriously finding a relationship...I think I would go the friend route. I met my ex through a mutual friend. Just making friends is great by itself, but it also opens you up to so many new experiences and new people. I got introduced to a lot of guys by my friends/acquaintances. Otherwise, like you said, practical situations like work, school, roommates. The flat I lived in also had a cute guy who liked me, but I wasn't interested in dating then either. My program is pretty small and only one guy I can see myself interested in. =/

 

I look forward to hearing your stories when you return to OLD, No_Go

[Cookiesandough]

I haven't read the whole thread but I have an opinion: You're projecting, and what you think is wrong. There certainly are desperate people doing OLD and there are desperate lonely people everywhere. There are also a load of regular people who are thinking that maybe it's worth giving it a shot.

 

It's an avenue for meeting people that is appropriate for many in this day and age when a lot of us sit at our computers working from home , ordering stuff from Amazon instead of going shopping, getting takeout delivered from any and every restaurant using an app on your phone without needing to venture out to eat. For good or bad, online dating fits in perfectly with all this.

 

Personally I know 2 happily married couples who met online and I had a 2 year relationship with a fine woman I met on Match.com some years back - along with a bunch of people who are in and out of it, dating, hooking up, finding relationships that don't last in the long haul - just like dating has always been.

 

Why does it have to be "I'm projecting"? If I noticed most here, including myself, like to spend time reading people's romantic woes and occasionally giving advice, am I also projecting? We are all in the same boat. You have not addressed the argument about how much thirst is required to make a profile and shoot out numerous 'high effort' openers and pay for drinks/meals and sit through a date with someone you've never even seen and may know instantly you have no attraction to a second after you walk through the door?Also, you are painting a not-so-flattering picture of OLDers, as if most of them rarely ever leave their house and order everything from their home, including their dates, like an agoraphobic. I guess I'm not compatible with those types, but fortunately, I've not encountered one of those. It's usually people who can leave their home and do to go out on the date and they say they have all these hobbies like "travel" and "going out and exploring the city". I've only heard of a couple dudes who said they mostly stay in, in which case, okay. If you lock yourself in your home I can see why you can;t meet women outside. Everyone is in the same boat online dating. None really better than anyone else. That doesn't mean good.

Edited January 22, 2018 by Cookiesandough

[No_Go]

Hah, on my first OLD round I was scared to post a real closeup picture. Then I was so embarrassed after I had to reject guys that I’ll delete my account after failed 1st date

 

Friends route is good if you have trustworthy friends, I feel a little off telling friends I’m single and looking, ie kind of embarrassed to sound desperate lol .

 

My plan is to rejoin OLD in March if I can get my coworker out of my system by then, right now it is a limbo because I had to back off but the oneitis is spiking BADLY...

 

 

I think I am going to try build my social circle again. I am not really sure I even want to date anymore. I am looking at all my matches and just...SMH. I feel bad for these guys and I wishes I didn't. For the longest time I was OLD, I was soooo embarrassed I couldn't sleep. The thought I was up there and seeing guys I actually knew IRL and having them match me. The entire thing was incredibly nerve-wracking and awkward. I couldn't take it and I probably deleted it 5 times in a month. Then I became used to it.

 

If I were to really date again and take seriously finding a relationship...I think I would go the friend route. I met my ex through a mutual friend. Just making friends is great by itself, but it also opens you up to so many new experiences and new people. I got introduced to a lot of guys by my friends/acquaintances. Otherwise, like you said, practical situations like work, school, roommates. The flat I lived in also had a cute guy who liked me, but I wasn't interested in dating then either. My program is pretty small and only one guy I can see myself interested in. =/

 

I look forward to hearing your stories when you return to OLD, No_Go

[Imajerk17]

Well, that's my point. The whole process is desperate, and I was trying to figure out how it was not. I was including myself in that category. I said in the opening post that "I am no exception" However, I don't do allthat.

I don't search for rship (at least not now, hopefully I will want one with someonE)

I don't read thousands of profiles

I don't even read 99% of the messages in my inbox or even look at the thumbnails

I don't think I've written anyone 1st, much less hundreds.

I don't pay for the dates.

I don't go on the dates expecting that the person is catfishing me like some of the guys I go on.

 

It just seems more sad for this reason. But my point is I'm trying to overlook it and see that it is a perfectly dignified way to meet someone

 

The list you made above--except for the last item--is simply par for the course of being a woman online. You don't have to write anyone first or pay for dates or even do searches to get a lot of emails.

 

Meanwhile you HAVE catfished guys yourself, by being interested in them one moment and then ghosting and blocking the next moment. Now THAT is what is sad.

 

I agree with the others that your dating history makes this thread seem quite bizarre. It just comes across unaware on your part--that you are not taking responsibility for your expectations, decisions, and expectations. Those are what are really causing your dating struggles, not the hordes of so-called desperate people online.

Edited January 22, 2018 by Imajerk17

[amaysngrace]

I think I am going to try build my social circle again. I am not really sure I even want to date anymore.

 

If I were to really date again and take seriously finding a relationship...I think I would go the friend route.

 

Please figure out what you want before you mess with more men.

 

If you walk the same contradicting talk you give there is no way you can expect to be satisfied in a romantic relationship and will most likely hurt more men who in turn will bring that baggage to the next woman they get involved with.

 

It's really very unfair.

[Cookiesandough]

The list you made above--except for the last item--is simply par for the course of being a woman online. You don't have to write anyone first or pay for dates or even do searches to get a lot of emails.

 

Meanwhile you HAVE catfished guys yourself, by being interested in them one moment and then ghosting and blocking the next moment. Now THAT is what is sad.

 

I agree with the others that your dating history makes this thread seem quite bizarre. It just comes across unaware on your part--that you are not taking responsibility for your expectations, decisions, and expectations, and it is why you are getting a lot of heat here. AND which are really causing your dating struggles, not the hordes of so-called desperate people online.

 

I realize it's different for women than men and I put it in the opening post!!! I put it's more acceptable for women because women can just be on there for attention, never wanting to meet anyone at all. I also put it's more understandable for a woman to want a relationship. I won't go into that because I'm not trying to make this a gender blanket thing.

 

But yes, men have to put more effort into OLD and that makes it sadder. I truly don't understand why men even do it. I would not do AT ALL it if I were a man. The odds are just terrible and you aren't able to show off so many things that make men attractive that can't be displayed through pixels and characters.

 

You are right that I don't know what I want, but 95% of people online don't. A lot of people want aspects of relationship - like going out and showing your partner to people or having someone to kiss or cuddle, but they don't want to have to spend time with that person regularly or go to events that person needs you to to. A lot of people want conflicting things. Until they meet the right person. Then all of that goes out the window. I'm just worried because like I said, I have had the thought run through my mind when I meet a perfectly handsome, accomplished, smart man of 'why is he so desperate to be on this date with me using OLD?' and it does worry me because respect is very important to maintain attraction. I lose attraction when I start thinking like that. And for all I know he's thinking the same of me.

 

I can't set things right with that guy. It's in the past. It's done and I'm sure he is confused but I think he's come to expect that with me. I'll never ghost or act that way again. I'm going to look at my Tinder messages and accept a few dates and hopefully we can have fun together. At the very least they will be new experiences.

 

 

Thank you so much

[LivingWaterPlease]

Cookies, I did dating apps for a couple of years and met several great guys who weren't desperate. I wrote about some in this post but deleted as it made the post too long. So, yes, I think OLD has it's place in our lives as a great way to meet quality people, or jerks, just like real life.

 

I think some of the things I did in my profile contributed to connecting with high quality men. For instance, I tried to use photos that were, imo, attractive and well done but showed no cleavage and didn't portray me as appearing glamorized or high maintenance. For my interests I put very simple solid habits, practices and hobbies. Nothing like "travel, skiing," or any other hobby that would cost a lot of money or that would sound entitled.

 

In my description I tried to focus on the inner person, and simple hobbies and practices, not so much materialistic or glamorous things and activities.

 

The men I met were not only great guys who treated me well but also had successful careers and high incomes for the most part. I also met only those who contacted me.

 

Also, I know several couples who have married from meeting on OLD. My former neighbor, a great guy who owns several businesses and travels internationally with them, met his wife through OLD. He's a top quality young man who was always very helpful to me though I'm older than he.

[Imajerk17]

I can't set things right with that guy. It's in the past. It's done and I'm sure he is confused but I think he's come to expect that with me. I'll never ghost or act that way again. I'm going to look at my Tinder messages and accept a few dates and hopefully we can have fun together. At the very least they will be new experiences.

 

 

Thank you so much

 

Yes you can. You have his contact info from his friend request. Send him a message saying that you apologize for wasting his time and ghosting but your anxiety just got the best of you again. Then turn over a new leaf.

 

You HAVE to put things right.

Edited January 22, 2018 by Imajerk17