I need a good story about letting go of someone and finding the love of your life.

[smile95]

Please share a story where you let go of someone you thought you loved and it was hard, but ended up meeting such a great partner....had you never left the one that hurt you, you never would have ended up where you are. I need encouragement........

 

I am trying to let go of someone that claims to "love" me and who I truly feel I love and I need to know that there are other fish in the sea if I just let him go.......

[quankanne]

hoo boy ... where to begin?

 

in college, several months after my first boyfriend dumped me, I met Roy. We had a philosophy class together, and I was attracted to him at the get-go. Can't remember now how we finally ended up together outside of class, I think I'd gone over to his place to borrow books or notes or something.

 

one thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with him that night. Of course, I cried because I still wasn't over being dumped by the ex, and I didn't have much self-esteem on top of that ...

 

we were lovers about six months, but I was too in love and too stupid to realize I wasn't the only flower he was buzzing around. By the next spring, he'd dropped out of school, moved back to Corpus but was visiting his little brother who was attending the same college where Roy and I met. at some point, however, he told me that he was moving in with his girlfriend, who had left her husband for him, and that just broke my heart because I honestly believed he was my Mr. Right. I walked away with my head held up because I didn't know what else to do.

 

several months later and still mooning over my lost "true" love, I met Richard.

 

he was a guest at the hotel I worked at, and was a pretty nice guy, I thought. With the most gorgeous blue eyes (he doesn't remember this, but my first words to him were, 'if you ever want to have kids, I'll help' lol). We were friendly, then gradually went out a time or two, and I realized that I liked him. Not that he'd ever take Roy's place, but I liked him.

 

it didn't work out though, and we stopped dating. He went back to his home base in Florida and I enjoyed my co-ed life, still thinking about Mr. Right living with his married girlfriend!

 

Richard was assigned back to Kingsville about six weeks before I was to graduate college, and his buddies were trying very hard to convince me that I needed to give him another chance (we kind of ended on a bad note). By this time, he'd supplanted the other guy as my main interest, because I realized that I could "see" a future with him in a way I hadn't with any of the others.

 

we dated that summer, though at one point his old girlfriend needed a place to stay and he invited her down to Texas to spend a couple of weeks with him. In his room. So once again, I walked away with my head held high and heart breaking. my best friend, who was my roommate by that time, had nursed me through the Roy episode but didn't know how to handle what I was going through with Richard, but he stood by me the whole time, telling me not to sell myself short, that my time would come.

 

long story culminated? Richard and I got back together, were in a long-distance relationship for about two years before marrying in 1992. It didn't hit me until we'd been married for a few years that "Mr. Right" is never as important as "Mr. This is Where I am Meant to Be," because I can honestly say that I have never, ever felt for someone what I do for him, we mesh so finely together.

 

now I just kind of smile when someone talks about "soulmate" or "true love" because I know that what we expect from love and life isn't necessarily what we are meant to have.

[MattB]

I've never been in that position, but I've been on the other end. That's how I met my gf.

 

I had known her for 5 months previous, we were coworkers. We were both attracted to each other, but kept it at friendly flirting. She was unhappy (didn't know at the time) in a relationship of 5 years. I knew she was taken so I stayed back. and bit my tongue.

 

Then one day, on my day off, I had to come in to work to talk to my manager about something. I just happened to walk back into the store and she happened to be there too (it was her day off too). So we started talking.and she told me about how she and her boy friend had been emotionally apart for the last 6 months. Basicly living with a roommate. He told her that he was moving back home and that once he moved, the relationship was over. She told him that he couldn't end it then because it was over six months ago. Her parents were urging her to come back home (in hopes of salvaging the relationship), so we talked for a few hours about how she didn't want to go back, but didn't know what to do.

 

As we parted ways I just mentioned to her that if she needed someone to talk to or just needed to get out of the house, to give me a call. I really wasn't intending on a relationship (altho I wasn't opposed to the thought); I was being there for her.

 

About 4 days later she called me and said she didn't want to have to go home after work, so I suggested that we go out and eat a nice meal and talk. She calls me up after work and tells me she's exhausted and would rather just stay in, so I invite her over and we stay up until all hours of the night talking. Towards the end of the night, we started talking about how she didn't know what to do about moving and that she wanted to stay but really didn't have a solid reason to. So I told her that there was a reason that she should stay. She should stay because I wanted her to.

 

It's been 6 months since that day and I have to say it is the most amazing relationship I have ever been in. We mesh so perfectly it's like we have been together for six years and not six months. The funny thing is, I had been trying to find someone for so many years unsucessfully and I had just given up and decided to just be happy with my life meere weeks before this happened.

 

Now I'm 1000 miles away finishing my masters work and it's the hardest thing i've ever had to do. Needless to say, there's a little black box with a shiney stone in it waiting on my desk for the next time I see her.

[quankanne]

Now I'm 1000 miles away finishing my masters work and it's the hardest thing i've ever had to do. Needless to say, there's a little black box with a shiny stone in it waiting on my desk for the next time I see her.

 

awww ... that's such a sweet thing to say! She's one lucky gal, Matt.

 

don't let the long distance factor worry you -- you'll find that because you've survived this, you can be apart but nothing important changes, but the relationship does strengthen.

 

my husband worked in Saudi during the first Gulf War, so while we were "courting," I got to see him once every six months. He spent the first year of our marriage there, and while it was hard, I think it really helped me get my bearings as to what I was capable of doing and how I could do my part in my own way.

 

it'll pass quickly, believe me ....

[MattB]

I sure hope it does. We spend so much time on the phone together it's not even funny. It has also only been 2 weeks tho.

 

I can't tell you how much trouble it has been to get that ring tho. She found the perfect one after I moved and told me about it. So I had to call the jewlers, find the guy who showed it to her to figure out which one it was and have it shipped to their nearest dealer which was still 300 miles away from me. But i have it now and she has no idea. She even called and told me how dissapointed she was because she went back there and the ring was sold

 

anyway, end of thread hijack.

 

 

If you decided to let him go then obviously there were feelings of doubt. Don't worry, once you find the right person there will be no doubt. You'll just know. I never believed it until I felt it myself.

[quankanne]

once you find the right person there will be no doubt. You'll just know.

 

yep ... it's a sure feeling you've got about this person. You can think about a future, not in rosy glowing terms, but in a practical, do-able way ...

[misha]

this is my story

I was just walking around one day in Falador, a guy was following me. I said "GO AWAY I'M AN OLD HAGG, I'M 18" he replied "that's not old, I'm 19 too." I'M THRILLED NOW GO AWAY." So there I was minding my own business and I just continued to keep walking. I wasn't really going anywhere, but there HE was just following me like he wanted something." WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME!!! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE" " i just wanted to know if you wanted some bronze" "YOU FOLLOWED ME ALL THIS WAY JUST TO ASK ME THAT? ARE YOU SICK IN THE HEAD?" "no" "COME ON NOW KITTEN I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST FOLLOW ME ALL THIS WAY JUST TO ASK ME THAT. I KNOW THERE IS SOMETHING MORE TO IT. I'M NOT STUPID!" "nope there's nothing else" i gave him a funny look, and i walked a little more, yet he was still right behind me every step of the way. This striked my curiosity (a little)." WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!" "alright is that what you want?" "YES" the next thing i knew he had just walked away and i found myself looking for him."you wanted something" i couldn't think of anything esle to say, but i was alone and all of my friends had left; not to mention i was bored out of my mind, and i needed to mess with someones mind. "YOUR MEAN" " and why am i mean?" "YOU JUST ARE!" "why" "BECAUSE YOU FOLLOW ME ALL THIS WAY AND JUST LEAVE ME." "well you told me to leave." i know what i had said and he was right, but you don't just follow a person for 30 min. and just leave. not to mention i was stumped. i did not know why i really wanted to follow him but i did. Somehow i was glad. It was like a fairtale, and i just could not resist the temtation."WELL I'M THE LOST ONE HERE." "i know what your tring to do." "WHAT" i replied frantically because i knew deep down he had found me out. "your just tring to play with my mind." not even 30 minutes with this guy and he knew me all to well."HOW YOUR QUITE THE CLEVER ONE AREN'T YOU." " why yes i am, so why did you really come back." i myself did not know this answer."BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS QUITE A RELATIONSHIP YOU AND I HAVE. BOTH OF US OUT TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN MESSING WITH SOMEONE'S MIND. I THINK THIS IS THE BEGING OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP." and to my shock it was indead and to be so much more than that." i think so too." the hours just flew by and i wished more and more to get to know him better.I found myself asking outragous questions that just weren't me, and yet they were all of who i am today. Questions like:

"SO HAVE YOU EVER KISSED BEFORE?"

"no and if i do i would want to have a relationship first"

i thought this was good, and i soon relized that he to was asking things and i didn't really mind them.

"are you a virgin."

now here is the frosting on the cake. when he asked me this personal question i literaly fell out of my chair, and i replied:

"DUH!!! I AM ONLY 18. WHY ARE YOU NOT A VIRGIN?"

"oh no no no i am very much a virgin."

"OH OKAY THEN. WHAT EVER YOU SAY."

"you know what turns me on?"

[Mz. Pixie]

Beth,

 

I was married for a long, long time (over ten years) and my marriage had been failing for a long time. I finally worked up the courage to separate. It was extremely hard to move out on my own, into an apartment with little belongings and little money but I did it. I was convinced that I would be happier down the line.

 

Soon after I separated I met the man that is my husband now. I wasn't really looking, it wasn't a good time to start a relationship by any means. He was afraid of being the rebound guy, I was afraid of giving myself fully to someone and being hurt.

 

The divorce was hell. Throughout the process he stood by my side and helped me through. Not many men would want to hear about how bad their gf's felt about their divorce but he knew it wasn't because I was still in love with my exh- more it was about the guilt over what it did to my kids. Everyone that had been in my life for all those years turned their backs on me the minute I decided to divorce.

 

Three months ago I married my new husband. He is EVERYTHING I've ever wanted in a man. I've never been so loved or so in love. If I would have closed my eyes to the fact I was so miserable and continued to stay I would have never met him. Our paths would have never crossed as we didn't know any of the same people (found out later we both knew one person that the other knew). It's been a fairytale romance, literally. He is like the other piece of my puzzle. Neither of us can believe we are this happy.

 

It can happen honey. Yet at the time I separated I had no idea that this would happen to me, I just had to go it on faith. So, that's what you need to do. You don't have anything at all with this man as it is- why not open yourself up to something different??

[smile95]

mz pixie!!!

 

Thank you! There is hope I see!!!!Great story for me to hear today.

[shamen]

Hi Beth,

 

You already know my story, so I won't go into it, but I just wanted to say that I am currently hanging out with a wonderful man and have dumped the other men I've also been hanging with to date just the one. I don't know where this will end up, but I'm excited to be with him. I'll keep you posted.

 

(Oh, and the ex is still trying to get me back after a year and a half. I've gotten very good at saying no... and now I can tell him that I have a bf. Pretty sure that he'll leave me alone now.)

 

I'm very happy that I've met such a sweet and beautiful man. You will too! I hope that you're still in NC with your ex...

[smile95]

Shamen!

 

I am so happy for you......I know your story and I know your feelings for the ex, so I can relate. Now I just need to find one!

 

So now that you are talking with a great guy, does the ex seem not so great now? That is my hope!

 

Good for you!