Practicallyperfect Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 I was the other woman for an agonizingly looonnngg 4-5 years before he finally divorced his wife. We were together for about another three years until today. I broke up with him and feel a little sad but mostly FREE, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Should have stuck with NC years ago, so much wasted time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 You can't change the past... Don't dwell on what you consider wasted time. Now you have a new chapter in your life to start. There is a clean page on which you can describe your next adventure. Blue skies... Link to post Share on other sites
Jdoublenn Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Yay!!! After constant back and forth with my ex for the last 3 months (together 2 yrs) I FINALLY let him go too. Its so freeing isn't it? To just be over them and moved on? Im not even sad at all at this point lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Practicallyperfect Posted January 24, 2018 Author Share Posted January 24, 2018 Thank you for the encouraging words. They’re incredibly helpful and empowering. Was it Albert Einstein who said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? I feel like a hamster that’s finally off that awful wheel that does round n round but never goes anywhere. Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Why did you end it after you finally got him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Practicallyperfect Posted January 24, 2018 Author Share Posted January 24, 2018 He wasn’t what he appeared to be; he was a chronic liar (the irony, I know!), insecure, jealous, and fancied himself a standup guy (more irony!) I could go on here but you get the point;) Another big problem; while I was the other woman he met my family, developed relationships with my daughters, sisters, mother......was essentially very involved in my life but this was not reciprocated. When he divorced it was another year before I met his family and they remained decidedly cool towards me throughout our R which I completely understood but grew to resent deeply because had he taken steps to leave his wife (like he swore he would) it would have been much easier for his family to accept. Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 because had he taken steps to leave his wife (like he swore he would) it would have been much easier for his family to accept. Does this mean she divorced him rather than him taking the initiative to grab himself by the gonads and handle his own business? Did he make her be the one to initiate it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Practicallyperfect Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 Who knows how his divorce really went down. His chief excuse for his lengthy exit was he tried to “over manage” the divorce; didn’t want to hurt his ex’s feelings and was trying to protect me.....L.O.L. The past eight years are incredibly crystal clear to me now, sure wish clarity had come sooner! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Who knows how his divorce really went down. His chief excuse for his lengthy exit was he tried to “over manage” the divorce; didn’t want to hurt his ex’s feelings and was trying to protect me.....L.O.L. The past eight years are incredibly crystal clear to me now, sure wish clarity had come sooner! I think "over manage" the divorce is code for "doesn't really want a divorce and doesn't want to part with assets feet dragging" and "not wanting to hurt his wife while trying to protect you" is code for hoping to hide/minimize the affair as much as humanely possible". Link to post Share on other sites
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