Need Advise

[Samantha]

I was married to my high school sweetheart. Neadless to say, a very bad marrage. However I finally got free, and don't know too much about this dating stuff.

 

I met this man, I like him, we seem to have things in common. Although I don't regret this, I had sex with him (protected) on our first date. (No need to bash me on this one) I figured, based on the traditional way of thinking, that it was a one night stand. I was perfectly ok with this It was something that I had never experienced. To my suprise he wrote a e-mail and said he had a great time and that he wanted me to get in touch with him. I was happy about this, however when I did get in touch with him, it seamed that he wasn't too interested. ????????????????????????????????????????? any thoughts??????

 

thanks

[sparkle]

I can't read this guy's mind, but what I've observed among most of my male friends is this: While they enjoy having sex with no strings attached, as in one-night stands, they usually do not consider these type of women "relationship material".

 

Most of them want to be with a girl that will be a challenge for them, someone they can chase after, someone that won't give it up so easily to any random guy. Once you've had sex with them right on the first date, they feel that they don't really have much else to look forward to.

 

Here are a few excerpts from an article I read, "Women who give it up too easily" by Curt Smith. While I don't agree with a few sentences, he makes a good point:

 

"Men recognize the power of a woman's sexuality. In turn, men appreciate and place great value on women who can control themselves and demonstrate a certain degree of sexual discipline because most men certainly can't.

 

If a woman can show men that she is honest, loyal, trustworthy, and sexually responsible, then she will have the most powerful weapon to attract men. If, on the other hand, a woman abuses her sexual power with many men, it will backfire on her."

 

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"Most men will agree that they're always on the lookout for a serious soul mate. But this doesn't mean that they can't have fun in the process. So if there are women giving themselves away without commitment, men will definitely pounce on the opportunity.

 

Inadvertently, when men meet women, they usually categorize them into two categories: the potentially serious relationship kind, or the "have fun in the process" girl. The outcome of the man's decision will ultimately be based on how a woman behaves around him.

 

If she sleeps with him on the first few nights, he'll definitely throw her in the fun category. But if she can show him that her body is worth a lot more and that he's going to have to commit to a serious relationship before he can taste her, he'll definitely consider her as serious potential."

 

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"Women need to realize that their bodies are temples -- or at least men like to think so -- and that they shouldn't be shared with any Tom, Dick or Harry. Once a woman realizes this, three things will happen:

 

1. She'll appreciate herself a lot more, and in turn the man will gain more respect for her and realize that he has a valuable treasure.

 

2. The man who had to work hard and commit in order to bed a woman will appreciate her more. After all, time was invested in her.

 

3. The sex will be brought to a whole new passionate level when she finally makes love to the man who fought for her --by being patient."