The plot thickens

[blackendangel13]

For my background on this dilemma see my Night with the Ex[/http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t66869/]

 

So new developments that are leaving me even more confused.

 

It had been a week since I had talked to my ex. I was doing really well and leaving him alone. Well a friend of mine went out with his ex the night before and for some reason I ended up sending him an email, inviting him to dinner with my friends. We did this dinner every week and this particular week we were going out in celebration of my going back to school, which was two years in the making. As soon as I hit send I regretted it. I figured he (the ex) was too busy because he usually is, but he sent me an email back about how excited he was for me and that he would love to go.

 

So a few days pass and it is the day all my friends decided on. I send him a quick email and say I'll pick him up at 715-730 if he is still interested. After work I go straight to school to finish registering and put my phone on silent so I can get everything in order. He leaves me a voicemail about not knowing if he will be home and might catch a cab and meet us at the restaurant. I smelled a blow-off. So I called him after I was finished with registration and was on my way home.

 

Well to add to my day, as soon as I pulled in the college parking lot my car started overheating. I barely got it down the block to safety. So I called my friends and they were on their way to pick my stranded ass up before we went to dinner. I called the ex and told him we were running late and said I'd call when we were on our way. Well they picked me up @ 810 and I called him. Got voicemail and left him one saying we were on our way.

 

When we got to the restaurant we had to wait for a table. I made the reservation for three instead of four because I was pretty sure he'd blown me off as it had been over 30 minutes since I left him a voicemail. He calls back at 915 and says he is on his way. So we wait. He gets there. My friends don't care much for him and don't hide it too well. I can't blame them though. They have never met him and know only what I have told them about him. They were just being protective of me, which I respect.

 

My friends went on smoking breaks several times and left us alone. We still have so much chemistry. When we catch each other's eye contact its electric. My girl friend even commented on that to me. Well after dinner he said he was going to a bar down the way and invited me along. I said sure, since I had already called into work for the following day to get my car fixed. We hopped in a cab and were bull****ting the whole way. He said that if he had had a car still he'd have picked me up in a heartbeat and I asked if he would have picked me up on his handlebars. He said of course. I had a good laugh imagining myself trying to ride on his handlebars.

 

Well we get to the bar, drink with his friends, have a great night. His friend who used to hate me now likes me a lot. The three of us got along easily. Then when the ex sat down and I had had a few drinks. God I wanted to put my head on his shoulder so badly. It felt so right and I swear I caught myself with my head about 2 inches from his shoulder a few times. He was so close to me I felt like I could just put my arms around him and just hold him. I wanted him to hold me. Then I got sort of freaked out. It was getting late anyway and they were on their way out so I said I was going. I had no intention of hugging him and waved goodbye to everyone. Then he pushed through everyone to give me a hug. In the last 5 months we have been talking we have only hugged one other time and that was a one-handed weird hug. Not like the hug he gave me that night. I didn't want to let go.

 

So then I walked home alone. My friends were not happy he let me walk home alone, but I didn't mind it. Its not like he was going my way and he had those friends staying at his house. Had it just been him he probably would have walked me home but his friends probably paid to take a cab and I was not on the way.

 

I think I am more confused than ever in how to approach this. I know there is something there, but don't know if its worth all the time I have put in to possibly be rejected by him all over again. Should I tell him flat out how I feel now, or wait awhile to see how he feels first. I don't think he'd ever come out and tell me if he feels more. I want him back, but I am very cautious because I don't know how to take some of the things he does and says to me. I just know being friends is killing me.

[Merin]

Just for the record, I think it sucks too that he didn't walk you home even if it wasn't on the way or his friends had paid for a cab...

 

It's hard to say what is going on in his mind... could be he thinks it's all good to go with the 2 of you being friends and has zero idea it's hard on you... or it could be he is good to go with the occassional "date" or getting together from time to time but still isn't about a relationship...

 

At this point, I suppose I would advise you to sit tight and see if he makes any effort to make plans with you instead of you being the one to initiate....

 

Hang in there

[blackendangel13]

Well I think he knows its hard for me to be friends. As I have said in my other posts about this ex, I told him many many times I can't be friends. I don't want a relationship yet either but I kind of would like to feel that all this effort is not for nothing you know? Like maybe someday down the line there will be a point to all of this hurting. He does invite me out but has cancelled the times he does. I am going to sit tight but this sucks so bad. Thank God his best friend was wasted the othernight because I completely spilled the beans to him about how it kills me to hang out with my ex and how I didn't know how long I could keep it up. I know he was definately too drunk to remember and on the off chance he did, it might not be so bad for him to tell my ex.