Just a random thought

[singleman40]

One rainy evening, I was at our balcony pondering about things.

 

Then a random thought came by. What if I get married?...

 

That thought came as a flash in my mind. I was hit by the fact that I’ve been

 

single for 5 years already... yes, just like other men, I need that special someone whom

 

I can be with for the rest of my life. I want to be in a relationship where love is evident and

 

happiness can be seen in our eyes.

 

This thought led to the question: Where to find a single woman to date for marriage?

 

So I decided to surf the internet. While I was busy searching for sources, online dating

 

came out. But knowing the negative sides of online dating, I decided not to delve into those.

 

Then a certain website came out again.

 

The website features matchmaking much more than online dating.

 

The site consists of services which advocates in helping single men find true love like

 

singles tour or romance tour. They also have thousands of foreign women listed.

 

These women are so gorgeous. I continued by browsing through their profiles.

 

This site left me to the thinking if I should use it or not. I wonder what opportunities would it

 

give me if I join the flock of men enjoying its service. What do you think guys?

 

Is it worth trying? What kind of services should I keep an eye-on for its legitimacy?

[carhill]

It's pretty easy to meet foreign women on the street when in-country. If you like what you see in the online profiles, figure reality will be about 10% to 20% of that and, if cool, buy a plane ticket and rent an apartment and check out the real local agencies if so inclined. Probably won't need to though.

 

What countries are you interested in? Most of my experience is with the FSU/CIS. If anything, things are in general easier now but also women are more savvy and less enamored of the west than in the past. Parameters vary by culture and country. Back when I was doing that, 20-some years ago, I'd budgeted out 20K to get to a K1. Figure about 50K now. If you don't have the cash and time, don't bother. I was self-employed and had the cash/time.

 

Good luck with your decision.

[d0nnivain]

That site is a business that preys on lonely men with limited social skills. They promise you beautiful foreign women. There are huge problems with that plan:

 

1. It's expensive

 

2. There are language & cultural barriers

 

3. These women don't care about you. They want a 1 way ticket to your 1st world country & the economic prosperity that allegedly represents.

 

4. The current jingoistic feelings of many places, make the immigration issues that much more difficult. Do you know that in the US, even if you have a prenup that says you don't alimony, when you sign the paperwork to bring your FI / foreign spouse to the US you have to agree to support that person financially in the event of a divorce? If you are unfamiliar with these types of legal issues consult an attorney who specializes in international divorce. Do consider how much all the legal work is going to cost you.

 

 

Try OLD & go to a few MeetUps before you go to AFA or it's competitors. Try out for 90 day fiancé or marriage at first sight or some other television show if you are really desperate.

[central]

About 20% of long term marriages are happy, so out of all marriages, about 10% end up being a happy decision (as many do not reach long term status, which is 20 years). The odds decrease when you marry someone with a different cultural values and marital expectations. Many will just use you on the path to a better life.

 

It's better to find someone who is already here legally, and then form a long term relationship without marriage. After a number of years, if there are no reservations or issues, marry them if you wish. You should of course still love them, so marriage would be for pragmatic reasons, and perhaps symbolism.

[Cookiesandough]

One rainy evening, I was at our balcony pondering about things.

 

[...]

 

That thought came as a flash in my mind. I was hit by the fact that I’ve been

 

single for 5 years already... [...]

This thought led to the question: Where to find a single woman to date for marriage?

 

So I decided to surf the internet

 

 

Lol a random thought. I have a kind of admiration for someone who just realizes one moment, never having had the thought for years, ‘wait a second! I’m single. And I need to get married. I better go start on that at 6’

 

Back to the point, based on experiences I’ve heard from men who date online, I’d be very skeptical of a site in which a ton of beautiful women were interested/available to me if it didn’t correlate with my experience offline. I’d think it was a scam of some sort. “Mail order bride”?

Edited January 30, 2018 by Cookiesandough

[snowboy91]

I used to assume all "foreign dating" type sites were scams. I've heard realistic experiences recently though... but I agree with the others in that:

 

1) The women don't look like they do in the ads - profiles could be fake. This happens in normal OLD though, but that's a bit less likely when the person is in your area.

 

2) Language/cultural barrier. Forming connections is more difficult. I dated someone from China for a couple of months (wasn't OS dating, she was a student here). Found it impossible to connect on that level needed for a long-term relationship.

 

My feeling is that traditional OLD is a lot less risky than OS matchmaking. Sure you gotta go through a few bad dates, but at least you have that opportunity. For some OS women, as others say it's a chance to get out of their country and pursue their expectation of a better life, and you'll be married to them before you realise the relationship isn't what either of you wanted.