He threatened to sue me for money he spent while dating me--and now this

[starboyz]

I recently launched a business with my business partner and he is the one who is funding the start up. He has allocated a certain about for us to use for the next 6 months. Once that money runs out — we reevaluate — but it’s ALL I have for the next 6 months.

 

My fiancé is in the line of work that we are working our product for. I have asked him for advice and how it would apply to him. I have also offered him free product to test and be our testimonial.

 

It costs me (the company and ME) 1,500 dollars to give him the product. That’s purely the expense of the product and the design.

 

He recently complained that my business partner was paying me an income to work on this over the next 6 months and that HE should get money too. I told him that was ridiculous. He said that it wasn’t and that he was going to start CHARGING for his time and advice.

 

So, after a big fight, I asked my business partner if we could pay him 1,000 a month as a consultant for a month or 2.

He said yes.

 

So, after I paid out of MY OWN PERSONAL MONEY the cost of the product. (not even the company money—my PERSONAL CHECKING ACCOUNT)…I asked my fiance if he would reiumburse me at least the 1,000.00 for the free product. Just for this month…since I haven’t taken ANY company money yet and I am scared to run it down…..

 

He said WHAT? SO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU MONEY— because you are giving me product? I thought it was FREE — AND I get paid 1,000. I said it is. But, look…. I only have a small pot of money for the next 6 months. And this is ALL I get. It’s a start up.

 

He blew up and said he doesn’t want my money or anything and he is no longer helping me. Because he wants FREE product AND to be paid 1,000 a month — or else. He also threatened to email my business partner and tell him to just give the money to me because that’s what I’m really trying to do — get more money for MYSELF.

 

He said I’m ungrateful and I am selfish. And he can’t marry a person who is like this — and he will make sure that married or not —all money is split with a line. I can’t touch his and he won’t ask for any of mine. But he will never support me… if I act like this.

 

He said he will make his own money and that he actually went back and tallied how much he’s spent on me for dinners and vacations and i’t more than I ever gave him….

 

And that at one point when we broke up — his accountant suggested going after me and suing me for money he spent on me.

 

Bottom line... I love him. We typically do well except when money or my business comes up. He feels like the world owes him everything... and that includes me.

 

He told me during this fight that his mom and dad asked him last week how things were going with me (he talks to them about our relationship ALL the time) and he said "pretty good but he knew I would flip back to THIS person"

 

I said How could you say that? He said I keep thinking you aren't this selfish and then reality hits. You are all about you...and you only care about your own success.

 

How would you approach this if you were in this situation?

[Mr. Lucky]

How would you approach this if you were in this situation?

 

From across state lines or further.

 

Look, there's two sides to each story and I'm not how well you're presenting his version of this vaguely worded account.

 

But there's a basic incompatibility at work here, and when combined with his low opinion of your personality, it indicates neither of you are ready for marriage - at least to each other. And honestly, what your describing is small potatoes in terms of the challenges you might face as spouses.

 

I don't marry people who threaten to sue me ...

 

Mr. Lucky

[sandylee1]

Don't get married. it's pointless with the arguments.