Kison Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 So I'm going out with this girl but everything is so awkward and quiet. We talk a bit but then silence. I feel like she won't want to keep going out with me if this keeps happening... I'm kinda freaking out lol. Are they supposed to be like this? Or am I just an awkward dude? Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 Not always. This can happen if one or both are quiet, shy, awkward, nervous, there is not enough in common. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 My husband is an introvert. It takes him a while to warm up to people. When we 1st met I was completely freaked out about all the long silences. I can carry on a conversation by myself but I was trying to be more inclusive & listen more. I had no idea what to do when he wasn't talking. I thought he wasn't interested. I have become more comfortable with silence over the years. So silence alone isn't a bad thing. If the both of you can just be together to live in the moment it's all good. But if one or both of you is silently freaking out inside, then that is not so good. Do come up with some conversation starters so that you can keep the exchange going. It's really OK to always ask, So how was your day? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 So I'm going out with this girl but everything is so awkward and quiet. We talk a bit but then silence. I remember taking a date to a museum and we had a great time. At the end of the date, she told me that she appreciated the quiet times and how I didn't try to fill every moment with chit-chat. I learned not every second has to be filled... I also appreciated her input. That being said, I had a date (drinks) with another woman, I used all of my pre-planned generic subjects and local feel-good news stories (that I had researched prior to the date) and she didn't even try to keep the conversation going. I could tell she wasn't into me, so I didn't ask her out again. Does she seem to be "into" you?? Does she try to continue the conversation or just let it fall?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kison Posted January 30, 2018 Author Share Posted January 30, 2018 (edited) I remember taking a date to a museum and we had a great time. At the end of the date, she told me that she appreciated the quiet times and how I didn't try to fill every moment with chit-chat. I learned not every second has to be filled... I also appreciated her input. That being said, I had a date (drinks) with another woman, I used all of my pre-planned generic subjects and local feel-good news stories (that I had researched prior to the date) and she didn't even try to keep the conversation going. I could tell she wasn't into me, so I didn't ask her out again. Does she seem to be "into" you?? Does she try to continue the conversation or just let it fall?? Yeah so i figured it out... at least i hope i did. So i had another date today and i found out that when we are in places with a lot of people around us, she seems to not like to talk a lot. Then when we are alone together or around a little bit of people, we can talk for hours... we actually did today. So i feel that she is just uncomfortable around a lot of people so i guess i should start bringing her to more private places. maybe take walks alone with her. idk ill figure it out. Thanks to all who replied! i feel like i can make it work from now on. Edited January 30, 2018 by Kison 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 (edited) Really . imo they can be anything . My oldest brothers been married 30yrs and out survived everyone, raised 3 great kids, very successful, still seem into each other and have a lot of respect for each other, been through some tough stuff too, real tough, yet they're opposites and fairly quiet around each other, not in a bad way they just are. From the outside though they seem to have grown in their love if anything , all this stuff either makes ya or breaks ya and with them it seems to make them that's for sure. But really no one thought they'd even survive let alone as they are. lt's more about whether your both comfortable and happy with whatever you are and have and content, if you are then none of that matters. Some people are very quiet or shy . some warm up , some in your face , all depends how you two feel with whatever you have and are together. But if your uneasy and it drives you a bit mad , you need more and your frustrated all the time, not good . Edited January 31, 2018 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
staggerlee71 Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 repeat this mantra..what makes me happy. build from there Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 I don't think so. My fiance and I used to spend 2-5 hours on the phone together every night before we met in person. None of it was awkward and we were always amazed we had been talking that long. As a man you should be able to carry the conversation and put her at ease if needed. Come up with some topics she might find interesting before you talk to her if you have to, so you have some stuff to go to if you hit a silence. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 As a man you should be able to carry the conversation and put her at ease if needed. Come up with some topics she might find interesting before you talk to her if you have to, so you have some stuff to go to if you hit a silence. And as a woman, she should be able to carry her end of the conversation and put him at ease. However, some people are nearly impossible for even the best conversationalists to get talking. Good conversation takes two people who both want to engage. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 The only time it's happened to me is if I'm with someone who is a very poor conversationalist. If you're generally good at conversation, then the problem is most likely her and not you. Link to post Share on other sites
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