road Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 The question is mainly for that of the BH's mindset. Though the view as a BW, WW, WH are welcomed. BH had a D day. WW and him separated and or divorced for a long time. At least a year, maybe two. Would you, could you recover with your WW/exWW if she dated during that time? Would it matter if it was the OM or new men? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 I’m done with wayward wives. Had enough, thanks. Others are welcome to reconcile anytime they feel it’s appropriate. I do think some conditions should be met. But personally, I won’t ever do that again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 The question is mainly for that of the BH's mindset. Though the view as a BW, WW, WH are welcomed. BH had a D day. WW and him separated and or divorced for a long time. At least a year, maybe two. Would you, could you recover with your WW/exWW if she dated during that time? Would it matter if it was the OM or new men? There is no way I would reconcile after being separated for whatever length of time it took to truly emotionally detach from her. I caved to my WW's tears and begging after 3 weeks on my own with NC, but it was a close call then and I knew I was close to putting her in my rear-view mirror forever. In fact, that thought was in the forefront of my mind even as I agreed to give her another chance. I knew I was blowing it - that I had been through the worst of it - and if I maintained zero contact with her for a bit longer I'd be free. I curse myself for caving and will regret it with my dying breath. As far as her "dating" during our brief separation - she actually moved OM into our apartment so your question is all wrapped into the betrayal for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenR Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 No. ****ing. Way. After all I've been thru, my wife knows that if ANYTHING happens that even resembles the faintest beginnings of an EA, much less a PA, that we're done forever. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 I think very few... couples ever really reconcile. I know there are a few examples of actual strong men that allow themselves to reconcile with a WW. DTK, and Sofie are two of the most well know examples. It may or may not be easier for women, I just really can't say. I tried for several years to stay with my wife after her affairs, it got to the point where her other issues over shadowed the infidelity. I just wish I knew then what I know now. While my life is happy now, I truly wish I would have left years earlier. For me now, never ever again in any way. In fact I have told every woman I have dated that they get one and only one chance. That means anything crazy, anything sketchy, anything and your done. It has really worked for me realty well... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 No. I was pretty much done after that, even with kids in the picture I just didn't want to stay. Part of love is respect and cheating isn't respectful behavior and I wasn't about to waste a second more of my life with her. I met a wonderful woman who lives me very much and respects me just as I do her. Being with her and dealing with my ex as a co-parent to my daughters has shown me how truly unstable she was then and still is now. My message to those who consider reconciliation...consider the possibility of starting over with someone better. You will enter into a new relationship with knowing what to look for and it will pay off in dividends. Link to post Share on other sites
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