js_77 Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Do you think is worth it having a serious relationship these days? Talking about the hookup culture, cheating, lack of commitment, etc. Sometimes it feels like dating someone is kind of "dangerous" to our emotions, feelings and well being! Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 No, I don't think it's worth it. I've stopped dating 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 I am a tough cookie, I don't mind my heart being hurt once in a while. I do just fine. It builds up some character, I get some experience out of it, and the next time I love myself better and my partner better. Yes it's worth it. It took me 3,5 years to find my boyfriend, he was worth every 200 blind dates I had to go through before finding him. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 I have always found it worthwhile. Yes, there are bumps along the way but part of avoiding that is to have a good screening process & not put too much stock or faith in the stranger you have just met. It doesn't matter how long you have been texting or e-mailing or What'sApp-ing. Until you meet it's not real & nothing done in virtual reality matters. If you can quickly & efficiently screen through the ones who won't work, you can get to more appropriate partners who share your values & therefore make better long term prospects. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
she'stheone Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Do you think is worth it having a serious relationship these days? Talking about the hookup culture, cheating, lack of commitment, etc. Sometimes it feels like dating someone is kind of "dangerous" to our emotions, feelings and well being! Hi JS_77, Anything can be dangerous to our emotions, feelings and well being. ANYTHING! It all a matter of perspective. If you look at dating as a perilous risk that is dangerous, that is exactly what it will be. If you look at dating as an opportunity to meet new people and see if they are worthy of you then you will find dating fun and exciting. While I am no longer in the dating pool (I have met my soulmate and love goddess) I wasn't looking for anything. I was just looking to have fun. We all put so much pressure on ourselves when dating to find "The One". Unfortunately, you never FIND "The One" they find you when you are open to being found. Good luck Sending you much love and light Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 I've been through hell and back more times than I care to remember but every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow. During my pain I couldn't see the lesson but when I did it certainly made me stronger and wiser. There were still tumbles and missteps -- a learning process. Took me over a decade to find my boyfriend but he was worth it. I was just talking to my colleague this morning about the mistakes and bad choices I made along the way. Some made me chuckle and some made me cringe. It was a journey. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 There's always danger to our emotions. And a serious relationship is worth it. As for dating, in particular online dating, meeting strangers, that's a whole other topic. You need to separate the frivolous people and bad methods from the concept of a long term loving relationship. The latter is definitely what God intended for us. As to how to find that person, some of it depends on where you live and, well, how lucky you are. Anyway always be sincere. I should hope, for the sake of the human race, you're not the only sincere person out there! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 I think in spite of today's shift in dating culture, there are still a lot of people out there who still want to get into a long-term relationship. There is this sense of companionship which is missing from serial random hook-ups. Yes, dating is really hard on our emotions, but arguably loneliness is worse - some research suggests that people who remain single die earlier on average than those who are married. It is very easy to lose face if you haven't had a date in a while, or can't keep a relationship going. People often take it personally after a break-up, but the reasons aren't necessarily personal - it could be compatibility issues which are no-one's fault, or that one person simply wasn't ready for something longer term at that point in their life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 What happened since November? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/643569-dating-multiple-women You were dating 3 women & one of them was a prostitute who was having sex with you for free. You were a bit cruel in your attitude toward the single mom. So maybe, based on all that for you -- right now -- with your cavalier attitude dating isn't worth it. You are apparently happy to pay for companionship which if I understand the logic is more about wanting the other person to go away after sex & not make emotional demands on you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 OP, IMO don't overthink it. If you feel like dating, date. If not, do other stuff. I recall dating back when I was separated because my exW was already living with another guy and I had this stupid idea I had to 'keep up' but, nah, heart wasn't in it so quit after a couple months and never went back. Once in awhile I'll encounter someone who stirs me but, so far anyway, they've all turned out to be married, not uncommon in my generation. IMO, if you're asking the question, give it rest for awhile and enjoy other aspects of life. Plenty out there. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Take a break for a year....then get back at it refreshed. Link to post Share on other sites
callmegm Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Maybe I'm different - but man, I enjoyed dating. It was a lot of fun getting dates and the feeling confidence during the first date, is awesome. I've always kept it casual when I tried dating multiple people - letting them know that we're not a couple and all that. Having said that, being in a relationship feels so much better for me. Having someone to rely on and as well as being relied on. Sharing space, movies, books, etc. with someone is so great that I don't regret every relationship I became serious with. So yeah, it's worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Dating is just fine. Relationships are where the difficulties lie. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 Take a break for a year....then get back at it refreshed. Good advice when you’re young... Link to post Share on other sites
sdraw108 Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 (edited) Do you think is worth it having a serious relationship these days? Talking about the hookup culture, cheating, lack of commitment, etc. Sometimes it feels like dating someone is kind of "dangerous" to our emotions, feelings and well being! From your November thread linked to above: I don't think I can ever be faithful to anyone anymore Yes, I think dating is dangerous, with people like you around! If you don't like today's dating culture then try being part of the solution instead of the problem! Edited January 31, 2018 by sdraw108 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 l really dunno how people do the dating thing, don't get the point of it. Why do they put themselves through it with all these no bodies , why not wait for that one that really sets the buzzers off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 I would hope that fellow citizens of the planet, even if individually one of billions, feel they are somebody and also somebody worthy of love. Dating to me is about timing and fit. Without trial there is no error nor success. The hard part is knowing when to step back from it. I dated off and on for many years and generally, when it became a chore that was when I went off and d9id other things that didn't feel like a chore. When it felt welcoming and uplifting, then back to it. OP, question. Do you feel complete as a human without a mate? There is no right or wrong answer, only your answer. IMO that's important knowledge to accept. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 l really dunno how people do the dating thing, don't get the point of it. Why do they put themselves through it with all these no bodies , why not wait for that one that really sets the buzzers off. Most people date with the intention to find one that sets the buzzers off. From your post are you stating that you just wait for it to happen? I’m a proactive person so like to have a hand in my destiny. However when it comes to the great relationships I’ve had it was always when I wasn’t really looking and it just knocked me on the head. I often ask myself why I bother as well. Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 If I was out there looking to meet a girl I would be aiming for hook ups only. Take your fun any way you can get it, in my view. The art of courtship seems like a waste of time- for a guy like me anyway. I used to be really relationship oriented but I've been on so many failed dates, been put in the bullpen while she dates around etc. that the whole process just isn't worth any sort of investment anymore. This is the problem with modern dating, the behaviour is so poor that guys who weren't hook up kind of guys to start with turn into hook up guys because it becomes a viable strategy to get some short term companionship without the occasional disappointment of missing out on a girl you felt would have made a good partner. Collectively I feel like we have created a monster and it is a case of adapt or die. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 After reading some of the horror stories around here, I have my doubts! Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 I am a tough cookie, I don't mind my heart being hurt once in a while. I do just fine. It builds up some character, I get some experience out of it, and the next time I love myself better and my partner better. Yes it's worth it. It took me 3,5 years to find my boyfriend, he was worth every 200 blind dates I had to go through before finding him. Very true! Last year I was close to giving up. I went through half a year of being played by a few guys. I found my bf after countless dates and a month worth of dating a control freak. I was honestly ready to give up plus I was terrified after almost getting trapped, I'm glad I didn't though. Keep on trucking. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 If I was out there looking to meet a girl I would be aiming for hook ups only. Take your fun any way you can get it, in my view. The art of courtship seems like a waste of time- for a guy like me anyway. I used to be really relationship oriented but I've been on so many failed dates, been put in the bullpen while she dates around etc. that the whole process just isn't worth any sort of investment anymore. This is the problem with modern dating, the behaviour is so poor that guys who weren't hook up kind of guys to start with turn into hook up guys because it becomes a viable strategy to get some short term companionship without the occasional disappointment of missing out on a girl you felt would have made a good partner. Collectively I feel like we have created a monster and it is a case of adapt or die. This really resonates with me. It would seem 2-4 month mini RLs are what my future holds. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Very true! Last year I was close to giving up. I went through half a year of being played by a few guys. I found my bf after countless dates and a month worth of dating a control freak. I was honestly ready to give up plus I was terrified after almost getting trapped' date=' I'm glad I didn't though. Keep on trucking.[/quote'] Yet again I'll point out the difference in dating for men vs women. Most men can count their dates. With women having "countless" it is just a matter of time before you find someone. I probably would lick my wounds a bit better from heartbreak if there were countless women lining up to date me. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 (edited) To me, yes I think it’s still fun sometimes Edited February 1, 2018 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Most people date with the intention to find one that sets the buzzers off. From your post are you stating that you just wait for it to happen? I’m a proactive person so like to have a hand in my destiny. However when it comes to the great relationships I’ve had it was always when I wasn’t really looking and it just knocked me on the head. I often ask myself why I bother as well. Wouldn't put it exactly like that but a bit yeah. Hell l dunno , no plan, maybe l just trust my good nose for women but l think you were in my thread about someone l've just met so you'd have some idea from there. But nope . l've never dated or ever been single except for awhile after divorce. But eh . the date date date thing seems to work for some and glory to them. l know the trouble l'd be getting myself into though haha. Link to post Share on other sites
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