30day inpatient program for clinical depression?

[Jdoublenn]

Has anyone done something like this?

 

Last night out of the blue, I had a sudden, extreme feeling of wanting to commit suicide. I came home a bit drunk, but not sad really at all... I talked to a friend on the phone and was totally normal chatting with her about life. Then laid down and all of a sudden was thinking about how easy it would just be to take a bunch of Xanax and just end everything. It scared the absolute Sheet out of me and I went and woke up my mom. (I live at home again after coming back to CA) My heart was racing, out of my chest it felt like; I wasn't even barely crying but just so so scared.

 

Ive had suicidal thoughts before but usually something triggers it and I'm extremely depressed when I think escaping would be better than feeling the pain. However last night was different. The sadness wasn't as apparent, but it was almost like I just felt "tired". Tired and hopeless I guess?

 

After this, my mom tells my dad and he comes in to talk to me today. (I'm not incredibly close to my family but they are the absolute best, most supportive people in the world) We're all very freaked out about how something so extreme came on out of nowhere, and then my dad suggested I look into an inpatient program. That seemed a bit extreme but i'm not opposed to it either.

 

Ive been in therapy once a week, every week for the last month-with appts continuing weekly- and haven't ever brought up my history of (very occasional) suicidal thoughts, bc I didnt know it was relevant. He knows from past notes from my former therapist that I have/do suffer from clinical depression. I just thought ive been doing so well lately, why talk about something that isn't affecting me now? I guess I was wrong. I definitely plan on talking to him about it Monday and see what he suggests; if he prefers I am transferred to a psychiatrist or if the inpatient program would be a good idea..

 

Im extremely confused about what brought this on which makes me even more scared. I know I use drinking as a coping mechanism, because when i'm buzzed/drunk I stop thinking about all the stressors and worries of my days. However its also just a way to go hang out with my friends and have a good time-as per lately. However now that I know me getting drunk is bringing the depression back to the surface.

 

In the last month+, I had finally let go of my very toxic ex, met a (seemingly) cool guy, got two new, good jobs and have been feeling like i'm finally getting my life together back home.. This made me feel like my depression was gone and buried. I was a happy drunk and so fun to be around the last couple months. Id come home and just fall asleep content, not sad. Obviously I was very wrong because at the slightest inconvenience, it has popped back up again when drunk...so it never really went away, it was just covered for a while.

 

 

I do not believe I have a drinking "problem" so much as it is, sometimes, my go-to to make me feel more carefree and stop thinking about the negatives in my life. I am purely a social drinker; never drink anything at home and only go out once or twice a week. But when I do, I tend to go overboard. So i'm hoping with therapy I can figure out how to find a better coping mechanism, or better yet, find a way to be mentally healthy again so I don't feel the need to 'escape'.

 

Until then, I've decided to switch out the drinking/hangouts at the bar for something healthier, like the gym. And since I have a history of being very much into working out, I know this wont just be a twice a week thing LOL. I bet I start going 6 days a week and really get caught back up in it. I loved being fit and loving my body. Im not overweight in any sense now, but I definitely miss my muscles!

 

So theres my little story, but for the question, has anyone ever been involved in an inpatient program? I don't deal with suicidal thoughts daily or even close, so I think I would go in to work on my depression... I know that what happened last night was incredibly scary, and I need to get it handled ASAP.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Is your period due? I only ask because mine is and I'm very much feeling like this today. (Sad, tired, hopeless).

 

I think a 30 day inpatient program would be heaven.....if I came back to all bills paid and my work still done and kids and pets still taken care of in my absence.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

P.S. It's so great you immediately told a loved one what you were feeling.

[todreaminblue]

I have been in hospital for treatment for clinical depression its normally never 30 days its always longer do you mean under 30 days under court ordered obs.....deb

[Jdoublenn]

Is your period due? I only ask because mine is and I'm very much feeling like this today. (Sad, tired, hopeless).

 

I think a 30 day inpatient program would be heaven.....if I came back to all bills paid and my work still done and kids and pets still taken care of in my absence.

 

No mine ended over a week ago. I get emotional before mine usually but not ever in an extreme way.

 

I have been in hospital for treatment for clinical depression its normally never 30 days its always longer do you mean under 30 days under court ordered obs.....deb

I have no idea, i've never been or even thought about it. Ive always just considered outpatient psychotherapy for clinical depression, like seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist. And no its not court ordered whatsoever. I just want to be mentally healthy.

[divegrl]

OP, are you taking Xanax?

[divegrl]

I ask because you mention it in your post. And it could be a reason for the sudden onset of symptoms you are experiencing.

[grays]

That actually sounds more like OCD than depression to me. I'm sorry you're having trouble, though.

 

Do you have a specific place/program in mind?

[d0nnivain]

I know people who have done it. I also know people who did shorter programs & longer programs. Many people do what is called IOP intensive out patient programs. It may depend on your diagnosis & your insurance plan.

 

Talk to your therapist, not a bunch of lay people on a message board but do call somebody if you feel suicidal. Death is not a solution

[todreaminblue]

No mine ended over a week ago. I get emotional before mine usually but not ever in an extreme way.

 

 

I have no idea, i've never been or even thought about it. Ive always just considered outpatient psychotherapy for clinical depression, like seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist. And no its not court ordered whatsoever. I just want to be mentally healthy.

 

 

I have gone in to hospital when i am not safe..when i don't feel safe anymore or i am a danger to myself ...i prefer to go in voluntarily and not ordered....shorter term of stay....there is a 48 hour under obs option in australia..... normally when i go in...i am medication free.....so i don't need washing out.....and they put me straight on a treatment plan and i stay in hospital until i am stable and coping....

 

you are under care talk to your therapist on Monday and see what he suggests and follow his guidance if you trust him,maybe you need to have your dosage on meds changed or adjusted to deal with what is happening now....medications for depression often change either go down or up.depending on what is happening to you in your life and your coping skills ...your body can become immune to one medication and cease to work as well as it once did..... and a change might be necessary....that has happened to me...what they call a hospital stay in this case is called a wash out...where you cant go off meds without obs so they wean you off it slowly and introduce a new medication..and monitor side effects and how you are so they wash the old drug out and in with the new.......psych meds commonly take up to 28 days to a month to have a noted effect on mood and stabilize you....talk to your therapist and see what he advises you to consider doing...

 

what i get tired of......is actually going to hospital....and going through the guinea pig rounds......its not a holiday it sucks.the meds make me sick.....walking round with a cotton head all confused nausea.....incredible hunger.......not quite sure of how the patients are going to be....luckily staff move pretty fast when it comes to removing patients who are risky and putting them in higher security....but if i have to go .... i go....my family need me around..and when i am in a depressed state me living is for them....deb

[Happy Lemming]

I don't know if this is relevant or will help, but I dated a woman who went through a 30 day (in patient) treatment program. She told me she had suicidal thoughts, her life wasn't where she wanted it to be, she had trouble dating, she was diagnosed with a condition that would make it very unlikely for her to have children and she fell apart.

 

I met her about 2 months after she completed the program and she seemed healthy and well adjusted. We actually got along quite well. She told me the program did wonders for her. She didn't describe the whole process but did talk about a lot of one on one counseling.

 

She did have one quirk (if you will), when anxiety would build up in her, she would throw a mug or dish down on the floor and break it. Apparently, the sound of the dish breaking released this pent up or building anxiety/frustration. I didn't know this until one morning while drinking coffee with her (after she spent the night), we were just talking, which led to a debate, but not an argument. She stood up and threw her empty coffee mug to the floor breaking it into a thousand pieces. She apologized and explained the situation. That afternoon, I went to a discount store (Odd Lots) and purchased two sets of cheap dishes w/ mugs (one for her place, one for mine). When she came over, I hid my good dishes and put out the cheap dishes. I didn't care if she broke those. I don't know why this helped her, but it did...

 

I wish you only the best with your situation, whatever course of action you take.

[preraph]

If you're having suicidal thoughts, you should go to therapy or this program, and don't put it off! It might be easily fixed, or not, but you do need to get diagnosed and let them treat you. Please always remember to take meds exactly as prescribed and also to always call and report any side effects to the doctor and let him adjust.

[StoicHusband]

I've decided to switch out the drinking/hangouts at the bar for something healthier, like the gym.

 

Best idea you've had about it. You're in my prayers.

 

Honestly, stop all substances. Feel what you're gonna feel and don't let anything lower your inhibitions in a situation like you're in.

[Jdoublenn]

Thank y'all for the replies! I truly appreciate it!

OP, are you taking Xanax?

 

I have had a Xanax prescription for nearly 6-7 years now. Mainly only 'as needed' or when I wanted to sleep harder. It would/does kick my sleeping pills into overdrive as they usually are not enough of their own to put me to sleep. I've had insomnia since I was a child... Lately I've been taking Xanax 5x a week at least which bothers me a lot BUT unless I drink heavy enough (once a week) to sleep, my sleeping pills dont do the job on their own.. Since moving home my new doctor has given me something new to try and I dont believe its barely working at all... let alone better than the Trazodone I was taking before (which would keep me asleep but not PUT me to sleep). All docs have warned me, and I do my own research, especially on Benzos, and am aware of the long term affects. However thats all I can do right now...

 

As far as using it for anxiety, I have before, in the last 7 years, but not often. Most recently was almost daily for about month when I first got back to CA, about 3 months ago. I made a post on here talking about how hard it was to find a psychiatrist, or even psychologist that could take a new patient. I had found one but had to wait a month before getting in... Luckily(tongue in cheek) it was just anxiety and not suicidal thoughts, so the Xanax got me through until I finally got in to therapy. But then I felt better... more stable. However the other night proves thats a lie.

 

Besides that, Ive never really had bad anxiety. Maybe an 'attack' once every few years where I needed the Xanax to calm down.

 

That actually sounds more like OCD than depression to me. I'm sorry you're having trouble, though.

 

Do you have a specific place/program in mind?

 

Does it really? Im interested to hear in what way?

 

I don't have a program in mind because, frankly, I don't know that I want to do that. I think if I start more intense psychotherapy or get in more often than once a week to a psych, I'll be able to work through this. Obviously keeping way from the alcohol as well which brings out the worst of it. I don't believe a month sitting in constant therapy is going to help a problem I've kept hidden for years, ya know? If I had a problem with alcohol AND depression that would definitely be a different story.

I know people who have done it. I also know people who did shorter programs & longer programs. Many people do what is called IOP intensive out patient programs. It may depend on your diagnosis & your insurance plan.

 

Talk to your therapist, not a bunch of lay people on a message board but do call somebody if you feel suicidal. Death is not a solution

 

 

If you're having suicidal thoughts, you should go to therapy or this program, and don't put it off! It might be easily fixed, or not, but you do need to get diagnosed and let them treat you. Please always remember to take meds exactly as prescribed and also to always call and report any side effects to the doctor and let him adjust.

 

Absolutely. I woke my mom up the other night like I said because I knew that would help me out of that scary zone. I've been in therapy weekly for the last month+ and will continue to do so. Im not just posting here and hiding my issues behind a keyboard. I am actively working on getting mentally healthy, however the online convo with people who have potentially been in similar situations is nice too.

 

PS-because of my insomnia I have dealt with prescriptions for a long time and always do my research and follow instructions to the T. Anyone who has ever tried getting off something like Cymbalta knows how dangerous it is to 'take things your own way'. You can't. So yes I am very informed and smart about it.

 

Best idea you've had about it. You're in my prayers.

 

Honestly, stop all substances. Feel what you're gonna feel and don't let anything lower your inhibitions in a situation like you're in.

 

Thank you

[StoicHusband]

Thank y'all for the replies! I truly appreciate it!

 

Thank you

 

You're in the right place here. People on this board know what they're talking about. I'm new obviously, but I am going thru a hard time myself with my wife leaving and the one thing I can honestly say hasn't even been a QUESTION is stopping the substances. (I smoked weed every day, drank occasionally).

 

I decided when she left, I didn't want to be stuck for 6 months. I didn't want to get bitten in the ass by negative thoughts a year later. So I stopped and just let myself feel my feelings, work it out clear-headed. It made a vast difference.

[Jdoublenn]

You're in the right place here. People on this board know what they're talking about. I'm new obviously, but I am going thru a hard time myself with my wife leaving and the one thing I can honestly say hasn't even been a QUESTION is stopping the substances. (I smoked weed every day, drank occasionally).

 

I decided when she left, I didn't want to be stuck for 6 months. I didn't want to get bitten in the ass by negative thoughts a year later. So I stopped and just let myself feel my feelings, work it out clear-headed. It made a vast difference.

 

I feel you totally. Alcohol is annoying because sometimes it feels like it helps! I stop stressing and I just have FUN. For a while the drunk-sad-me didn't come around at the end of the night, so it was fine. But now that drunk-sadness is back as well as the seemingly random suicidal thoughts, its scary. I have no control over my emotions when i'm drunk obviously they feel SO strong. It'll be best for me to chill for a while and get myself together. Then work on controlling the stopping point so I don't find it fun to just get hammered. The bad part is I enjoy that 'me' LOL

[divegrl]

I’m glad you are aware of the harmful side effects of benzodiazepines. They are really very powerful. Have you seen the thread about insomnia in this same forum? It is filled with non drug coping techniques for sleep.

 

Just a note, you can become addicted to benzos after only 2 weeks of regular use. When you go to your 30 day inpatient program, I would have them taper you off Xanax. Withdrawal must be physician supervised as there is a risk of seizures.

 

Good luck my friend.

[whichwayisup]

I feel you totally. Alcohol is annoying because sometimes it feels like it helps! I stop stressing and I just have FUN. For a while the drunk-sad-me didn't come around at the end of the night, so it was fine. But now that drunk-sadness is back as well as the seemingly random suicidal thoughts, its scary. I have no control over my emotions when i'm drunk obviously they feel SO strong. It'll be best for me to chill for a while and get myself together. Then work on controlling the stopping point so I don't find it fun to just get hammered. The bad part is I enjoy that 'me' LOL

 

Booze and drugs magnify your issues and as you know don't help in the long run. Fact that you say this (bolded part) means you may not be able to handle alcohol anymore, it's damaging you. Hitting the gym is a great idea, fill in new and healthier habits with old ones that are not helpful in your life.

 

Do you do yoga? If not, do so! It helps mentally, physically and emotionally.

[NHope]

I'm so sorry your going through this, but I commend you on telling someone right away. Sounds like you have a good support system which will help you a lot. I would recommend talking to your counselor about it and anything else you haven't told him about your depression in the past. You may be able to work through this with your counselor and not being in an inpatient program. But you'll know if you need more, so just be real with yourself and your family. Keep hope.

[Jdoublenn]

I’m glad you are aware of the harmful side effects of benzodiazepines. They are really very powerful. Have you seen the thread about insomnia in this same forum? It is filled with non drug coping techniques for sleep.

 

Just a note, you can become addicted to benzos after only 2 weeks of regular use. When you go to your 30 day inpatient program, I would have them taper you off Xanax. Withdrawal must be physician supervised as there is a risk of seizures.

 

Good luck my friend.

 

Theres no dependency for myself on the Xanax, and yes, I have tested and proven to myself time and time again because I am aware of the extremities of the drug. I've had the prescription for about 6 years as stated previously, however I have not always taken it constantly... In fact, just a year and a half ago I went from 4-5 days to 0 with no complications after reading a scary article and hearing followup from a doctor stating studies were [now] linking Benzos to Alzheimers. I didn't take it at all for nearly several months.

 

I started taking it more often again recently, as my {new} doctor switched me to a different sleeping pill that isn't working even half as well as my last . Also I dealt with extreme anxiety at the end of 2017 and it helped me through that. Im very aware of the effects, but I appreciate your worry. I stay extremely up to date on any/all medications I take.

 

I do not believe, after speaking with my psychologist, that an inpatient program will be necessary in my case. Rather would set me back mentally, in that I will have gotten behind on life once again. Ill post a full update soon.

 

 

I'm so sorry your going through this, but I commend you on telling someone right away. Sounds like you have a good support system which will help you a lot. I would recommend talking to your counselor about it and anything else you haven't told him about your depression in the past. You may be able to work through this with your counselor and not being in an inpatient program. But you'll know if you need more, so just be real with yourself and your family. Keep hope.

 

Yes! he has all my past info because I ended up going to the same office my last therapist was at. So he has all of her previous notes! I told him I struggled at the end of 2017 quite a bit but felt a lot better by the time I had finally gotten in to see him. (nearly 3 month wait)

[Jdoublenn]

UPDATE:

 

I had a great appt with my therapist today. We ruled out possible bipolar disorder as well as set up a game plan on things to work on in the coming weeks/months.

 

He believes that my incident was a combination of things, but likely me hitting the end of my rope emotionally. After the last few months of stress, frustration, difficulty, I may just be exhausted all the way around. Obviously im going to start to work on my alcohol use as a coping mechanism, and look for other things to try and help my 'release' my stressors. Also a huge issue I need to figure out/handle is how much control I let men have of my emotions. Ive always wanted a family more than anything.. And as its always been an issue, its frustrating now that Ive been in my first real, long term relationship. Almost like I feel like I need to rush so much faster to find someone now. Thus, when I find a guy I like(its rare), I tend to let my emotions 100% depend on the "relationship" and how its going.

 

I set an appt with a psychiatrist for June. Thats the soonest I can get in with my insurance but at least I have the date and a game plan of sorts. Im going to keep seeing my therapist weekly too of course!